Happy Blogaversary!

“If we don’t challenge each other to use our platforms for better than our niches or what our quote-un-quote brand is, what are we doing as influencers? If we can’t activate our audiences at the time it’s important or needed, then what do we have these platforms for?” Luvie Ajani

Three years ago today, I birthed the InspireLoveServe blog. I’m a firm believer that as we learn  we need to teach, that sharing is caring and that our stories help to heal ourselves, others as well as the collective healing of humanity. Here it is three years later and 165+ blogs written… Cheers! 

So why did I start blogging? I started blogging because lived experiences- our own and that of others- provide us with learning and growth opportunities and a level of wisdom that can be used to guide us throughout the darkest and most trying times of our lives….through the highest of highs, the lowest of lows and everything in between. These experiences show us what is possible when we tap into our inner fortitude, strength, exercise our resilience muscle and take accountability for our life-long learning, growth and overall contribution.  

As we have witnessed in this digital age we’re living, social media platforms of all kinds have the ability to influence and accelerate our learning, growth, activism and contribution in unimaginable ways. While social media often gets a bad rap, especially from people who aren’t even on it or haven’t taken the time to explore it, I believe the benefits outweigh the pitfalls. In my humble opinion, the key is to “curate” our social media profiles in a way so that what shows up in our feeds and who we choose to friend and follow are voices, leaders and change-makers who are adding to our growth factor and to the human collective. The times we are living have shown us all the empowering, as well as the disempowering, impact  social media has on us. So why not opt for empowerment and upliftment…our own and others?

Whether we realize it or not, we are all influencers in life. However, it’s my belief that we must be accountable for the energy we choose to put out there- not only in all our personal and professional relationships and spaces- but on social media as well. I think we can agree that we all have a great impact on people’s lives whether intentionally or unintentionally, consciously or unconsciously. The energy we put out there is either constructive or destructive, positive or negative, influential or ineffectual, wouldn’t you agree?

I’ve often said that our influence is exponential. Now, more than ever, we are all being called to teach, coach, write, speak out, advocate, and lead. Regardless of our positions, careers and roles we play, we all have leadership abilities that can be used to unite not to divide, to love not to perpetuate fear, to praise not to demean or devalue, and to impact and encourage  others in positive and unimaginable ways. Our voices can influence others in all areas of life and can especially influence our circle of friends, family, friends of friends, friends of friends of friends, friends of friends of friends of friends….you get it…..exponentially!  

Successful and admired leaders from all walks of life have the exceptional ability of being able to connect with the human experience – with one’s humanity. I think this is primarily due to the fact that effective and successful leaders have solid, unshakable  core values, beliefs, morals and a social consciousness that enable them to do so. And sprinkle in a little sense of humor, and viola! News flash here: we all have this ability! All we need to do is tap into it, develop it, refine it and put it to good use. 

Given the historical times we are living, the political and social unrest in our country, and the  hatred and vitriol we are witnessing right before our very eyes on TV, in our communities and splashed across headlines, don’t you think it’s high time we all “checked” ourselves? And by checking ourselves I mean taking a deep dive into the roles we individually play as part of the collective and how we are contributing to it. It’s called accountability…wink, wink!

Do we show ourselves love, compassion, understanding and empathy? If we do, then we have the ability to extend that to all our fellow humans because it is a choice we make. If we don’t treat ourselves with love, compassion, understanding and empathy- which is also a choice-  then chances are that we are not capable of extending those same qualities to others and are most likely adding to the states and narratives of fear, division, separation, depression, loneliness, anger and hatred (just to name a few) that we are seeing in today’s society and splashed across all media outlets. All of it is an assault on our nervous system and, as a result, it is bringing up traumas of all kinds in people. Some of these traumas may be  historical, generational, ancestral, shock or developmental. And make no mistake about it, trauma is at the root of all violence….both outward and inward!

Traumatic events that we experience throughout our lives are overwhelming to us physically and/or emotionally. This causes the nervous system to jump into high alert and bringing our mind and body back into balance is affected. If trauma is not addressed and dealt with, it will remain trapped in our body and will cause disturbances at the biological, physiological, emotional, mental or behavioral levels. Unresolved trauma impacts our ability to self-regulate- causing us to respond impulsively and emotionally- and affects our ability to process information. Our brains get compromised by overwhelming amounts of cortisol, thereby causing fragmented memory and compromising social awareness and organizational ability. In a nutshell, the traumatized brain will act as it is cognitively impaired.

If you are interested in reading up on trauma, I highly recommend the following two books:

  1. The Body Keeps Score by Bessel Van Der Kolk, M.D.
  2. Waking the Tiger: Healing Trauma by Peter A, Levine

So back to the subtle art of checking ourselves. By checking ourselves I also mean to check in with our body and its sensations throughout the day and upon interacting with others (something we are always being called to do on our yoga mats): 

  • Pause
  • Be the witness 
  • Observe the feelings that are a result of our thoughts.
  • What emotions were elicited by these thoughts? 
  • What are these thoughts revealing?

Another way we can check ourselves, and one that was mentioned on various energy forecasts I was recently watching, is to listen to the story and the narratives behind the fear and divide we are seeing in our country. We are being encouraged to ask ourselves the following:

  • Why are people trying to create fear, anger and hate?
  • Do I want to believe this narrative?
  • Do I want to be a part of this narrative?
  • How does this narrative make me feel?
  • Is there another narrative I can choose?

And, lastly, some of my own questions:

  • What is my leadership style?
  • Do I hold myself in love, compassion, understanding and empathy? Why/why not?
  • How do I influence those around me?
  • How do I leave people feeling after I interact with them?
  • How am I using my social media platform?
  • What energy am I putting out in the world via my social media platform?
  • Am I using my social media platform to influence, educate, inspire, uplift, advocate, entertain, raise awareness or to add to those fear, division, hate and separation narratives?
  • Do I choose to act or react in challenging situations?
  • What self-regulation tools can I use to keep me from reacting negatively?
  • What added value do I bring to the lives of those around me?
  • What are ways I can start/continue to be of service and contribution?
  • In what ways can I invest in myself and continue my personal and professional growth so that I can further be of influence?

Darlings, we are all part of a human family and part of  history in the making!. What kind of human being are you? What kinds of human beings do you surround yourself with? Are there any personal traumas in your mind/body that need addressing? 

I sincerely hope that you can relate to the content in this blog on some level and want to thank you for taking the time to read it. On this 3rd Blogaversary, I want to thank you if you are an avid supporter and always read my blog. Thank you if you occasionally drop in to read it. Thank you if you care enough to share when you feel called to do so. Thank you for taking the time to share some of your comments with me. Thank you for being inspired to do your own work. Thank you if what you’ve read in this blog causes you to pause, reflect and become more conscious and intentional with how you use your own social media platform.

May we continue to move forward in love and with intention, curiosity, clarity, unity and hearts and minds wide open! JTC

Inspired Action

“You can’t control what happens to you, but you can control what happens through you.”  Carl Lentz

Greetings, darlings!

How are y’all doing? I don’t know about you, but I feel like the days, weeks and months are flying by since quarantining started back in March. I simply can’t believe it is already Memorial Day Weekend, can you?

What have y’all been up to? Have you found your groove? Are you feeling settled? Unsettled? Are you reacting from a place of fear, or responding from a place of love? Are you letting the times control you, or are you taking control of the times?

If there’s one thing that having a consistent meditation and yoga practice has done for me throughout this time is that it has kept me calm, peaceful, harmonious and inspired. Not much has changed on that front. I am very well aware of what I can or can’t control, the actions I consciously choose to take or not take as well as the thoughts and conversations I am willing to entertain. Ahhh…the power of discernment!

Our spiritual / emotional muscle is one that, when exercised regularly, really strengthens our resolve. It keeps us mentally stable and emotionally regulated. This is a time when our self-care practices need to take front and center stage. For me personally, self-care practices are key to being resilient, especially during trying, difficult or challenging times.

Needless to say, I have not veered from my non-negotiables (aka self-care practices). During this time of collective grief and loss, I am choosing to do all I can to keep my vibrational frequency high and to fill my little corner of the universe with positivity, encouragement, hope and inspiration. I am enjoying being engaged in deep conversations with some of my peeps who are also using this time creatively and purposefully and working the work of inner inquiry, growth, expansion and  transformation. I love hearing what they’re dreaming up and all the ideas they have “percolating” (my new favorite word that my friend Kat has been using).

Percolating. There’s no greater feeling than being in a state where you feel like you’re in an inspirational vortex of energy.  As I was listening to one of my favorite podcasts, the Sheri and Nancy Show, Sheri referred to this inspirational vortex as “being in the quantum soup.” I just love that too and can so relate!

We all have the ability to tap into these higher dimensional frequencies. However, the one precursor for doing so is that we catch ourselves and stop with the complaining, negativity and all the doom and gloom jargon. The only purpose that serves is to attract more doom, gloom and negativity. It’s a mindfulness practice to catch ourselves when we’re veering off course and course-correct. Remember, energy flows where attention goes!

In my humble opinion, I feel these are times we must be impeccable with our thoughts,  actions and with what we bring forth to offer.  Imagine if we all took responsibility for the energy we are bringing to those around us and to the energy we are releasing into the collective. Hmmmm…What is your energetic offering?

Only we can control what happens through us. Only we can determine what inspired action to take. Only we can make the decision to shift from barely surviving to gloriously thriving. Only we can shift from reacting to responding. Only we can reframe what is happening “to us” to what is happening “for us.” Only we can hold ourselves accountable for the ways in which we choose to show up during these times of uncertainty. And if there’s anything we know, it’s that we all show up differently because we are each uniquely different and we are all on our own path to self-realization.

This isn’t a competition by any means. This is about our own individual lifestyles, behavior patterns and habits of mind, how they play out in our lives and how they influence the conscious (or unconscious) choices we make and the actions we take.

I’ve chosen to be pretty proactive during this time of quarantining. Since the sheltering at home started, I have made sure to show up for myself each and every day. I’ve even upped some of my practices. So please indulge me as I attempt to document what the past few months have entailed. And full transparency here…I am not boasting nor bragging. It’s just that if I ever feel the need to reference what I did during this period, a blog post is easier to find than looking through a stack of journals.

When the quarantine started, I had a few books that I had recently purchased- The Beautiful No; A Year of Yes; Untamed; A Gift of Forgiveness; and More Myself. I loved and devoured them all in no time. I don’t know about you, but I enjoy a good book. Especially non-fiction books filled with good story telling and a healthy dose of inspiration. I save juicy and trashy ones for beach reading. Podcasts have also accompanied me on many walks.

Once all the non-essential establishments closed and yoga studios started zooming classes, I joined the ranks of those taking livestream classes. I am sort of amazed that I just completed my 80th consecutive livestream class.  Not skipping a day, and even doubling up on classes now and then, has served me well. I’m working my yoga practice and, in turn, my yoga is definitely working me. Peace. Calm. Tranquil. Centered. Grounded. Inspired.

In addition to my regular meditation, prayer and gratitude practice, I found this lovely meditation by Nadav, on Insight Timer that I keep telling everyone about. It’s called Lokah- Mantra for Happiness, Health & Freedom. And it repeats 108 times. His voice is beautiful and peaceful as is the melody. More commonly known as Lokah Samastah Sukino Bavantu, this mantra basically translates to “May all beings everywhere be happy, healthy and free.” There’s something very peaceful and fulfilling in sending these vibrational wishes out into the universe. I have been doing this meditation in the early mornings and before going to sleep at night. It has been a real source of comfort for me.

Like many of you, I’ve spent a lot of time in the kitchen and have gotten very creative with some of my dishes. What can I say? I’m a foodie, so I don’t mind cooking. Having said that, I do miss my occasional breakfast, lunch or dinner out with my girls. But after cooking everyday for the past 2+ months, I have finally started doing curbside pick up once or twice a week. And I am now entertaining partaking in responsible physical distancing in small gatherings with two or three other people.

As we’ve all witnessed, social media and the internet have been overflowing with course offerings of all kinds- some free and others reduced or on a sliding scale. The lifelong learner in me has been taking full advantage of things that call to me. The way I see it is that we can never go wrong with investing in ourselves!

The free Off the Mat Leadership Summit was just finishing up when the quarantine started. Since then, I completed  The Return of the Priestess Summit; Dr. Melody Moore’s Self Approval Summit; Seane Corn’s The Yoga of Awakening workshop; Hala Khouri’s Yoga for Self-Regulation and Trauma course; and Ashley Turner’s Resilience Summit.

A couple of my friends also participated in some of these, so it was nice to be able to expand and delve deeper into our conversations around what we were learning, the organizations the presenters founded and/or are involved in, the work they are doing and how they are living a life of purpose.  We also got lots of free resources from them as well (and a list of recommended books, available programs and other resources to consider). The next round of books waiting to be read are The Body Keeps Score- Brain, Mind and Body in the Healing of Trauma; Waking the Tiger- Healing Trauma; Me and White Supremacy- Combat Racism, Change the World, and Become a Good Ancestor and The Success Principles Workbook.

These books will support the next leg of my journey. My next endeavor is the Level One training I signed up for with Little Flower Yoga that will enable me to teach yoga and other mindfulness practices to children and adolescents aged 3-18. Let’s just say I heard the calling in meditation one morning and, when you hear the voice, you don’t ignore it! It was clear as a bell, and then all sorts of synchronicities followed. 

Then I looked back to the physical traumas (accidents, falls, surgeries, disabilities) I’ve had in my life, my 33+ years as an educator in an at-risk school district where trauma, violence, abuse and crisis was an every day part of many of the students’ lives and how I was always involved in student and staff support services to the point where, when I became a school administrator, I was the educational leader in charge of support services.  Crisis intervention was a daily thing most days. In looking back, I see the call to volunteer in an orphanage or group foster home and perhaps with children who may have physical disabilities very clearly. Divine Alignment. Vortex of Energy. Quantum Soup. Inspired Action. 

Speaking of inspired action, I am in awe of the many people and boots on the ground organizations doing so much good and providing much needed services as well as opportunities to be of service. They are all a source of deep inspiration! This is a time we are all being called to serve in our own unique way….but we can only do so at our best if and when we put the oxygen mask on first. 

Being a HUGE self-care advocate, I’ve often referred to self-care practices as my non-negotiables. So, in addition to yoga, prayer, meditation, music / mantra, reading, self-study,  and nutritious food, I’ve been making sure I get my sleep, silent time, and time away from my phone. I drink plenty of water, juice regularly, take all my supplements, get out in nature, work out a little each day, slather on the lotions and potions, work with essential oils, treat myself to fresh flowers, and even allow myself some PJ mornings in bed. There have been many a day I’ve been called to rest, and that’s good too! Our bodies are always talking to us, so it’s wise to listen. Listen and feel. Then take right action. And sometimes, right action may look like doing nothing at all.

Phone calls, FaceTime and/or zoom calls and celebrations with friends have provided that sense of connection that we as humans need. Making sure to reach out to friends or people I haven’t spoken to in a while is important to me. And I’m so grateful for the people who’ve called to check in on me. We are wired to connect and, as a species, we are interdependent. If there is anything we are all learning through this time of physical distancing is that it’s not about the “I/Me” but the “We/Us.”

As I reflect on these times we’re all experiencing, and other times in my life when I’ve been resilient, I’m thankful that I have the practices and a toolbox crammed with resources to tap into. These practices and resources have always allowed me to take accountability for my life, establish healthy boundaries, call upon my inner fortitude, embrace change, live fearlessly, do hard things, deal with loss and grief, be bold and unapologetic about some of my choices and move through life happily, positively, optimistically and with an attitude of gratitude. And whether you realize it or not, You have a resilience muscle that you’ve engaged when tough times have come calling for you. Now is as good a time as ever to think about that.

So… as a way to thank you for entertaining this personal “documentation” of sorts, I would like to share a brief self-inquiry practice you can do if you feel like you could use a little inspired actionIt’s one that was offered to me at one of the Resilience Summit’s sessions.

Before doing so though, I invite you to maybe light a candle, burn a little incense or maybe even burn a little sage or palo santo to clear your space of any stagnant or unwelcome energy. Have a piece of paper or a journal nearby and something with which to write…a pen, pencil, colored pencils, gel pens, markers….whatever floats your boat. You may also decide you want some soothing music in the background. Get comfortable, close your eyes if it feels safe to do so, take 4-5 deep breaths, exhaling slowly, then return to your regular breathing,

Take a moment to look at the following questions then, when you are ready, close your eyes again and ask yourself the questions:

  • What does resilience mean to me?
  • How does it look like?
  • How does it feel?
  • What are the qualities I possess that I feel are resilient?
  • What are my strongest qualities?
  • What are the qualities that I actually want to build within myself?

After sitting with these questions for a bit, contemplate the following:

  • Remember a time (or the last time) you had to be resilient. Take yourself back to that time and place. And when you recall that place, remember what it felt like to be resilient, to tap into that inner strength, or that place of wisdom / inner knowing. 
  • What were your tools?
  • How did you move through whatever obstacle, challenge or difficulty you were facing?
  • How did you overcome the obstacle, challenge or difficulty? 

When you are ready, open your eyes and START WRITING. When you feel that you have written all that there is to write, ask yourself:

  • How can I move towards what strengthens me?
  • How can I move away from what weakens me? (These can be people, places, situations, thoughts, activities, habits, etc.) and write some more.

At some point, you may also want to consider documenting your own version of what this period of sheltering at home or working on the frontlines has looked like for you, especially if you have young children, grandchildren or maybe even for future generations. We are living through unprecedented times. But just like past generations of our resilient ancestors, we, too, will get through this and move towards a new world.

Darlings, when the going gets tough, we must rely on our tools. We must use them. Embody them. There will always be things we can’t control, but our tools will always help us in responding to them in a way that serves us…and in deciding how we chose to move through whatever happens. So let’s decide to move through these times with patience, much needed positivity, grace, fierce determination, inner fortitude, loving-kindness, and a heart wide open. 

Here’s to us and to our skillfulness, capabilities and resourcefulness…Stay calm and percolate on! JTC

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Physically Distanced Yet Socially Connected

“We will not go back to normal. Normal never was. Our pre-corona existence was  not normal other than we normalized greed, inequity, exhaustion, depletion, extraction, disconnection, confusion, rage, hoarding, hate and lack. We should not long to return, my friends. We are being given the opportunity to stitch a new garment. One that fits all of humanity and nature.”  Sonya Renee Taylor

I’m sure you’ve all seen the above quote circulating  all over social media these days. It brings to mind one that  I just looked at, “Never get so busy making a living that you forget to make a life.” This quote is one of many little inspirational cards that came in a lovely wooden box, created by Kathy Davis, that was gifted to me by a dear friend. It seems to speak louder than words these days in light of this global pandemic we are living through. We’ve been so busy “making a life” that we’ve forgotten lots of things and people along the way! What will we do with this?

This is  a good time as any to think and reflect on where the art of busyness has gotten us. What good is the accumulation of wealth if we don’t share it? What good is it if we aren’t being of service in some way? How has the quest to obtain more things, make more money, work longer hours or climb the corporate ladder higher impacted the actual quality of our lives? In most cases, the pursuit of these lofty goals have left us feeling exhausted, angry, lonely, disconnected, unfulfilled, peace-less, anxious and, in some cases, in debt. It’s a good time to rethink what’s really of importance. What can we make more space for?

This pandemic, which is shining a HUGE spotlight on inequalities and injustices of all kinds, is also serving as a plague of oneness and wellness. It’s about damn time, don’t you think?

During this time of physical distancing,  this pandemic has gifted us with quality connections and the reality that we indeed are all connected. Technology, creativity and inventiveness have given us new ways to stay connected, celebrate, honor life and death, work, teach, learn, exercise, move our bodies, meditate, pray, sing, dance, worship, express love, donate, contribute, serve and come together globally like NEVER before. We’ve been given an opportunity to deeply question, examine and fine-tune our values. As a result, we are seeing humanity through an entirely new and incredible lens. What will we do with this?

The question(s) we are faced with asking ourselves at this time in history do not differ from the questions past generations asked themselves about this mystery of life. Nor will it differ from questions future generations will ask. Each generation has a way of reframing the same question(s): What does it mean to be human? Who am I? How can I  make an impact? How can I contribute and be of service? 

These are all questions that every generation has experienced in times of social, political, economic, cultural and personal turmoil and unrest. One thing we can’t escape though is the pain. Pain is a price we pay for the privilege of being alive. What we do with that pain is the game-changer! Ahhh….the so called mystery of life!

I think it’s safe to say that we are witnessing a coming together of humanity that will be written about for years. What will we do with this?

“How can we all flourish moving forward?”  That’s a question a speaker I was listening to posed. How can we use the gifts this pandemic (although painful and tragic) has given us and put them to good use? After all, we truly are one another’s keepers. If we don’t watch out for each other, the animals, the earth, who will?

The way I see it is that we  have a responsibility to each other. A responsibility that will shape the way we move forward and how we look at all humans…especially the ones whom we never saw, paid attention to, acknowledged, maybe discriminated against or felt unfavorable towards. This pandemic has certainly been an inconvenience to some but, to those living on the margins, it’s always been a matter of life and death. The pandemic has just exacerbated the magnitude of their daily battle to survive. What will we do with this?

Many of these folks are the ones now deemed  “essential workers.” These are the various individuals who are putting their own lives, futures, and the lives of their families at risk to help each and every one of us. We’re seeing heroes of all kinds and from all walks of life emerge.

Many of us have been so busy “making a life” that not only have we failed to “make a life,” but we’ve failed to to see that the life we were so busy making has not allowed us to see that we are all connected and that our choices impact us all on a global level.

Who will be as a people, a family, community, society, and global citizens? Who do we WANT to be? What changes do we want to see? What change are we willing to be? What are we willing to do about it? 

These are only but a few questions I’ve been asking myself for years and years. But now they seem more important than ever. Constantly going within, questioning and dismantling old thoughts or belief systems is how we grow, evolve, make a difference, serve, contribute and change the trajectory of our lives.  It’s also how we can change the trajectory of our society and how we can change the world. It’s time for a new world, don’t you think? One that fits all of humanity and nature, as noted in Sonya Renee Taylor’s brilliant opening quote. What will we do with this?

For more questions that will allow us to identify the areas of our lives that are not working for us (as well as areas that are), and my thoughts on the opportunities this pandemic brings to the forefront, check out my previous blog, The Global Pause. Many of the questions posed in that blog  provide a window for us to analyze how we want to move through our individual world and the collective world. Should you be looking for some good reads, The Global Pause also contains a list of some of my favorite books to support you through these times.

As technology has shown us, this is a time for creativity, dreaming, inventiveness, imagination, transformation and rebirth. We are all a part of it, so we better make the best of it…wink, wink.

Lead from the heart….always and in all ways, JTC

The Global Pause

“Historically, pandemics have forced humans to break with the past and imagine their world anew. This one is no different. It is a portal, a gateway between one world and the next. We can choose to walk through it, dragging the carcasses of our prejudice and hatred, our avarice, our data banks and dead ideas, our dead rivers and smokey skies behind us. Or we can walk through lightly, with little luggage, ready to imagine another world. And ready to fight for it.”

Greetings, my darlings!

I saw the above statement posted somewhere on Instagram and found its words to be comforting for, deep down inside, it is exactly how I feel…. like many of us feel. As I mentioned in my previous blog, When Things Feel Out of Control, this unprecedented GLOBAL pandemic of our time is an opportunity for us to re-group, re-align and re-define who we want to be in the space we occupy in the world. It’s a time for feeling, healing- mind, body and soul- awakening, and raising the vibration of the collective consciousness.

It’s a time for recalibration as well as finding balance, truth, freedom and liberation. But in order to attain those states, we must first take the time to feel hard feelings. What are they? Can you name them? A few may be sadness, anger, rage, grief, resentment, a sense of deep loss. What does this feel like in your body? What sensations do you feel?

There is a saying that goes something like, “Our suffering gives us Xray vision to the suffering of others.” But first, we must identify our own human suffering, our traumas,  and how our choices, thoughts, beliefs, actions, speech, lifestyle, hatred, prejudices, consumerism, and activism, or lack thereof, all play a part in the collective suffering of the world.

In my humble opinion, we are all being shown what it means to be human.  After all, we are ONE human race….a race that MUST move forward. There is no going back! Nor should we want to go back. Each and every one of us are part of a beautiful symphony of life that is being orchestrated to move humanity forward and the name of the composition is  Compassion, Empathy and Love….for ourselves and others.

I’ve spent a lot of time this past week thinking about how we can move forward. How I can help to move humanity forward. It all starts with ourselves. I find myself asking:

  • “Who do I want to be?”
  • “Who am I becoming?”
  • “How do I want to move through my life?”
  • “What part of life do I want to do differently?”
  • “How do I want to feel today? Everyday?”
  • “What do I have to give, contribute and offer?

I feel like we are living a moment in time that we cannot take for granted. As I’ve pondered the meaning and significance of what it means from shifting from an I/Me mentality to a We/Us mentality, more questions arose around “engagement.”

As a people:

  • How do we want to engage?
  • How do we want to be, feel and act?
  • How do we want to interact with each other?
  • How do we want to work?
  • How do we want to parent?
  • How do we want to play?
  • How do we want to be in community?
  • How do we want to engage with our neighbors?
  • How do we engage with our families? 
  • How do we want to show up in our intimate relationships?
  • How do we want to show up for our finances?
  • How do we want to engage with technology?
  • How do we want to use social media?
  • How do we want to show up for human rights and equality?
  • How do we want our government and our leaders to show up?

These questions also allow us to identify the areas of our lives that are not working for us (as well as areas that are). They provide a window for us to analyze how we want to move through our individual world and the collective world. But, like any kind of transformation, destruction, careful planning and precise vision go hand in hand. We owe it to ourselves to create a space for new visions, new thought patterns and new belief systems. We need to call on our imagination and creativity. And in order to do so, we must create the time and space to do so.

Luckily for us, this pandemic has gifted us with much time. And we can either use our time productively or get swept up with other forms of addictions or unhealthy habits. As a society, and as a human race, we have become disconnected and disengaged from our mind, body and spirit. Sadly, there are more people connected to their electronic devices these days than engaged in human, face-to-face connection. In many cases, they are connected in unhealthy ways.

Ways that lack boundaries, censorship and discernment. I was listening to a podcast with Glennon Doyle about her new book, Untamed (a must read), and she said the following: “Text messages are not the boss of me.” OMG how brilliant! Seriously, how can we allow our devices to be the boss of us? Have you ever been with someone who can’t engage in a conversation or finish a sentence because they are so distracted because they continue to text? Rather than being respectful, mindful, present and fully engaged with a human body before them, they are more concerned with what’s going on in the palm of their hand. Are you one of this people, dearest reader?

I feel like there is this monumental, gargantuan force that is pushing us to go isolate and go within so that we learn to be together again. A force that is showing us what it means to be human. A force that is connecting us all in unimaginable ways despite our “social/physical distancing.” We are being shown alternatives, and taking part in new ways to stay connected.  New ways to interact, work, teach, learn, play, care, support and make a difference. Thanks to the numerous artists, musicians, poets, authors, teachers, meditators, spiritual activists, healers, coaches, psychologists, community leaders, activists, schools and universities, we are re-defining the meaning of human connection. We’ve been so disengaged and out of our bodies for so long, that it now feels like we’ve been dropped suddenly into our bodies anew.

Darlings, we are all a part of a new history in the making. It’s like we are all being called to be a part of this new creation. New world.  New society. New culture. New economy. New politics. New systems. New beliefs. All old systems appear to be crumbling,  falling apart,  making way and opening this new portal for us to step through.

The biggest questions that remains is, “Will you CHOOSE to be left behind or walk through the gateway to a new world?” I don’t know about you, but I’m packing lightly…wink, wink!

In closing, I’d like to offer up prayers for all of us. I think it’s safe to say we have all lost friends and loved ones to COVID19. Here’s a beautiful prayer that spoke to me when I came across it on social media during the early days of the pandemic:

Prayer for Pandemic

May we who are merely inconvenienced remember those whose lives are at stake. May we who have no risk factors remember those most vulnerable. May we who have the luxury of working form home remember those who must choose between preserving their health and making their rent. May we who have the flexibility to care for our children remember those who have no options. May we who have to cancel our trips remember those who have no safe place to go. May we who are losing our margin money in the tumult of the economic market remember those who have no margin at all. May we who settle in for a quarantine at home remember those who have no home. As fear grips our country, let us choose love. During this time we cannot physically wrap our arms around each other, let us find ways tp be in the loving embrace of God to our neighbors. Amen.

Thanks for reading! Lead from the heart…always and in all ways, JTC

PS: If you’re looking for some good reading or inspiration to accompany you on your own personal journey, or to comfort you during this time, below are a few of my favorite books:

  • A Return to Love,  by Marianne Williamson
  • Revolution of the Soul, by Seane Corn
  • Healing, by David Elliot
  • The Beautiful No, by Sheri Salata
  • Year of Yes, by Shonda Rhimes
  • Love Warrior, by Glennon Doyle
  • Untamed, by Glennon Doyle
  • The Gift of Forgiveness, by Katherine Schwarzeneggar
  • More Myself, by Alicia Keys
  • Whatever Arises, Love That, by Matt Kahn
  • Inquire Within, Poems by IN-Q
  • The Wisdom of Sundays, by Oprah WInfrey
  • I’ve Been Thinking, by Maria Shriver
  • Broken Open, by Elizabeth Lesser
  • When Things Fall Apart, by Pema Chodron
  • The Untethered Soul, by Michael Singer
  • The Book of Awakening, by Mark Nepo
  • Illuminata – A Return to Prayer, by Marianne Williamson
  • Outrageous Openness, by Tosha Silver
  • Change Me Prayers, by Tosha Silver
  • Astrology for the Soul, by Jan Spiller
  • Daily Om, by Madison Taylor
  • Practice You – A Journal, by Elena Brower

 

 

 

Planting New Seeds: Inspiration for Tumultuous Times

“We alive at this time are the luckiest people who have ever lived –and the ones facing the wildest, most terrifying challenges. This is not just a deep paradox, it is an existential invitation to keep waking up, right now.“ Terry Patten for Grateful Word of the Day

Greetings, my darlings!

The title of this blog is actually the title of a piece one of my beloved yoga teachers, Laura Wootton, posted and one you will read a little later on.

I haven’t blogged all that much lately and, with all that is swirling around us these days, I’ve done what I usually do when faced with challenging times: I tend to unplug, go within, journal, be still, practice some silence, color, listen to music and guided meditations and read a whole lot. Taking the time to be introspective fills me up.

This time has also allowed me to be very mindful and selective of what I choose to post and/or share. I don’t want to add to the hysteria and anxiety that is out there. On the contrary- I want to be the calm in the chaos. This is a mindset I’ve subscribed to for many years now.

Our words hold the capability to either ignite fear or inspire love. I choose the latter. Our words, thoughts and our self-care practices help us to self regulate and calm our nervous system. Fear puts us in fight or flight mode, spiking cortisol levels and causing more dis-ease in the body… not an ideal situation for those with an already compromised immune system. I do not want to add to that, so I’ve been uber-cautious.

When I read Laura’s post, I realized her words were what we all need to hear right now. These are the times, as Laura writes , for planting new seeds. So…. I will leave you with her inspiring words for tumultuous times:

The world is shifting in big ways. Our systems and belief systems are being tested and reassessed. Although this time is tumultuous, it is creating space for needed changes.

The feeling of what is happening comes to me as this image… imagine an area of firmly packed dirt. It has been in its place for years, untouched. It is so packed that new seeds can’t penetrate its surface. The process we are undergoing right now is like taking a shovel to this packed dirt… breaking up all that is stuck in it, excavating it, discovering things that have been lodged in the dirt for years. As we break up the packed dirt, we create space for new life. Now seeds can be planted and nurtured in this space again.

Our structural systems and belief systems are being excavated like the packed dirt. It feels tumultuous, but this process is creating space for new experience and more authentically-aligned life paths.

This is a time to:

  • Look at your life and the way you’ve been living it… are there any ways that you have not been living authentically? How can you create space for more joy and creativity in your life?
  • Enjoy quality time with loved ones while you’re all at home… call loved ones who are far away. We are being offered an opportunity to connect deeply with each other.
  • Ponder the dreams that you have kept “on the shelf” for years because there’s “no time” to pursue them.
  • Contemplate the “seeds” you’d like to plant in your life… visualize what you’d like your life to look life if you’re given a fresh start.

Some affirmations that could be helpful in this time:

I am grounded and stable.
I am worthy of love and joy.
I trust the unfolding of my life.
I create space for joy in my life.
I value myself and my relationships.
I am always Divinely Aligned.
I am guided to my most authentic Self-expression.
I love unconditionally, and I am loved unconditionally.
I receive what I need, and I release what I do not need.
Love and hugs to everyone ❤️🤗❤️

Thank you, “Lovely Laura,” for sharing your wise words and for being such a beacon of light during these times. Your inspiration is deeply appreciated. And thank you for being someone who is helping to move humanity forward!

Here’s to each and every one of us planting new seeds AND choosing/finding inspiring words for tumultuous times!

Lead from the heart… always and in all ways, JTC

Lovin’ on YOU

“The most desired human emotion, love, is the energy of the heart and soul that brings balance, harmony, and healing.” David Elliot

Greetings darlings, and Happy Valentine’s Day to all! I’m such a love and gratitude junkie that this week is one of my favorite weeks of the year. It’s not that I need a particular holiday to celebrate love and be loving. That’s an everyday activity in my book!

Living with a heart wide open and loving wildly, fiercely and passionately is, in my book, a non-negotiable. As David Elliot writes in his book, Healing, love expands and uplifts you when felt and expressed. When you feel love you feel connected to all things through your heart. Isn’t that the truth?

Yet, there are many out there who do not approach life and love from this vantage point. People are disconnected from their hearts, minds are fearful and closed off, and emotions are locked away somewhere deep down inside. I was recently listening to a meditation that stated the biggest journey we will ever take is the journey within. Now that is the absolute truth!

It is only when we journey within that we start to peel away the layers of feelings and emotions that have kept us stuck, sick and block us from truly living with a heart wide open. This journey to the self is one of self love. It’s sweet and painful. Revolutionary and transforming. Poignant and profound.

Darlings, the most important relationship we will ever have is that with our Self. It may sound cliche-ish to some, but it’s radically true. Just think about it for a moment- if we do not love ourselves, how can we love another??? And I mean truly love- the kind that is unconditional and one where we’re connected by our values, integrity, differences, and similarities just the same. And not just in a romantic sense either.

If there’s one thing I’m a big proponent of, and advocate for, is radical self love (and self-care).

What does radical self love look like to you?

How do you love yourself?

In what ways are you unloving to yourself ?

These questions can start you on “lovin’ on YOU” in more ways than you can imagine. Once we crack that door and let the light seep in, we’ve taken the first step towards spiritual, physical, emotional and mental well-being. After all, we are the guardians of our soul and our one precious life in this lifetime. Loving yourself is our responsibility. It doesn’t fall onto anyone else. It’s solely ours!

Part of my Valentine’s gift to myself was coming to Kripalu in Stockbridge, MA for their R&R program. You can do as much or as little as you want and select from numerous daily classes, workshops, and activities. There’s also various healing arts and services that are available should you want to pamper yourself even more so.

In their own words, “Kripalu envisions an awakened, connected, and compassionate world in which all people and communities are empowered to realize their full potential for the transformative wisdom and practice of yoga. Presence, Inquiry, Practice, Compassion, Integrity, and Service are behaviors that positively impact how we manage ourselves, how we treat each other, and how we interact and connect.” What a way to live and love!

As I read and reread the above, it’s ever so clear that all of that starts with our own journey within. Once we show up for ourselves, we can show up for others- in a healthy, meaningful and more sustainable way.

So…on this beautiful, sunny day in the Berkshires, I’m going to share with you my little takeaway from yesterday’s arrival at Kripalu. It’s their Guidelines for Self and Community Care which I think are beautiful ways to live and love…. ourselves and others!

Be present to your own body, mind, and heart. The felt sense of your own inner experience is at the root of your well-being and ability to serve the community.

Inquire into your habits. Notice impulses and behavior that are not fully aligned with your highest intentions. Your words and behavior impact your own experience, the experience of others, and the environment we create together.

 Explore new ways of caring for and expressing yourself. Allow this time to include the potential discomfort of learning something new.

Be kind to yourself and others. Each one of us is learning, growing and doing the best we can in any given moment. Embrace the opportunity for supported growth.

Demonstrate integrity by speaking and acting your truth respectfully and compassionately. Our community flourishes as each of us brings forth what is within. Our shared stories and experiences foster community and connection.

Darlings, my wish for you is that you ALWAYS take the time to be present with yourself, dive deeply into your heart, listen to the wisdom of the heart, and shower yourself with compassion and loving awareness. And…remember…it is always a practice!

Here’s to Lovin’ on YOU!

Lead with Love…always and in all ways, JTC

Blind Clarity

“It is only with the heart that one can see rightly.” Antoine de Saint Exupery

There’s nothing as intense and overpowering as the moment of clarity. It’s when our hearts and minds are open, and we are in alignment with all things that are possible for us. It’s blinding!

I spent quite a bit of time listening to and watching several energy updates and forecasts for the new year and new decade, and it seems like clarity of thought is front and center in all things personal, professional, political and worldly. It’s about time, don’t you think?

After all, thanks to the information we have at our fingertips, and the work we’re doing on ourselves, we are evolving, transforming and growing, in rapid rates, faster than ever before. We’re more in touch with our intuition and with our bodies.

As Lee Harris commented on his energy forecast, “People are coming back to their sensory selves faster than ever before.” This, my darlings, is becoming the new normal. Yippie!

When we operate from this connected place, we can’t help but notice that we are leading from the heart. We’re leading from a place of divine truth. We’re leading with ease, confidence, joy and love. Can you relate?

Conversely, it is lack of clarity that creates chaos, frustration, sadness and fear. These emotions are poison. They sabotage our goals, dreams, and our day-to-day living and interaction with others. When we dust off our glasses, put aside the fear mongering we are seeing so much of these days, and connect to our hearts, we are able to see everything clearer, bigger, more illuminated. We are able to intentionally interact with others at much higher levels than ever before. We are blinded by the light of clarity!

I believe that, when this occurs, our senses are heightened. We are more discerning. We have a laser beam focus. There’s an emotional awareness and connection to spirit that comes from operating from our heart center.

I also believe that Mother Nature is one of our greatest teachers and that the universe self corrects in ways that bring in all sorts of disasters so that humanity can come together. Just look at the compassion, empathy, togetherness and love that arises after disasters. Our hearts get ripped open, don’t they? And our hearts may also get triggered just the same.

It’s these triggers that we need to put under a microscope. These triggers may be keeping us from living out our greatness and from serving in ways we were meant to serve… with love.

Serving with love and intention is a practice just like any other practice. And it does take time, effort, patience, persistence and perseverance.

Don’t you think it’s high time we knock down the walls of fear, frustration, tension, conflict, and separation and build foundations of love, patience, ease, compassion, and unity? Don’t you think it’s time we take our thoughts, desires, aspirations and dreams and give them life in the world? Don’t you want to live in alignment with your creative flow? Don’t you want to operative from higher levels of emotional awareness and intelligence?

Are you willing to do the work? Nothing in our lives changes unless we are willing to do the work and get clear in all matters of the heart. It’s time to step up and step out, darlings!

If you don’t know where or how to start, I am here to tell you how simple it can be. Note to self…it may be simple, but it may also be painful! Nevertheless, it all starts with getting to know you better as well as setting daily intentions. I am also here to remind you that your intentions create your reality.

So…before we get to a little practice for setting intentions, allow me to share a few questions I came across as I was perusing many, many pages of the spectacular new issue of Mantra Magazine (my fave). The ENTIRE issue is on wellness. It’s like one big interactive journal!

These questions will help you to get to know YOU. I invite you to peruse them, use them as journaling prompts or topics of conversations with some beloved friends. Use them in any way that will serve YOU:

  • When do I feel most creative?
  • What qualities do I value and desire in my friends?
  • Where do I feel at peace?
  • What makes me feel valued and important?
  • What do I look forward to the most?
  • What do I struggle with the most?
  • What makes me feel calm and centered?
  • What do I do when I’m feeling overwhelmed and stressed?
  • When do I feel confident in myself?
  • How do I want to feel in the world?
  • How can I face my fears more?
  • How can I cultivate more confidence in myself?
  • How can I improve my thinking in order to make my life better?
  • What would help me grow as a person?
  • What new ways can I express myself?
  • What do I need more of?
  • What do I need less of?
  • When do I get mental clarity?
  • How can I stay in tune with my body?
  • When do I feel emotionally fulfilled?
  • What makes me feel energized?
  • When am I most empowered?
  • When do I feel joyful?
  • What obstacles are holding me back?
  • What are my greatest sources of inspiration?
  • When do I feel most proud of myself?
  • What makes me feel valued and important?
  • What is my greatest insecurity?
  • What thoughts consume me throughout my day?
  • How much time do I devote to self-care?
  • What are the things I’d like to say no to?
  • What are the things I’d like to say yes to?

Lots to think about, right? Lots to act upon as well lots to excavate and elevate!

Now, for a little practice on intention setting all that is required is your willingness, your breath and your heart.

Upon awakening each day, resist the temptation to reach for your phone or electronic devices. Doing so will only fill your mind with clutter and distractions.

Begin your day by sitting in bed, a chair, yoga mat or meditation cushion. Close your eyes, and focus on your breath a little while. By focusing on how your breath travels through your body, you are practicing conscious breathing. Now bring your attention to your heart center, and see/feel it opening and blossoming like a lotus flower. When you feel ready, ask yourself:

What word or phrase embodies my wishes for today?

Let that word or phrase fill your heart, your mind and your awareness. You may be feeling one way, but your heart may be telling you something else. The key is to honor that voice of the heart, your instinct and intuition because the heart connects us to the flow of love.

When you are ready, open your eyes slowly, and take a few deep breaths. Keep your intention(s) close to your heart, and tap into it throughout your day and throughout all your encounters and interactions.

Darlings, I invite you to make this an every day practice. Remember, consistency creates the change we want to see. Sit as little or as long as you would like. The point is to be consistent with your practice so that you can be open to your spiritual and energetic self. This morning ritual will allow you to move throughout your day with confidence, purpose, ease and love.

As we are always reminded in yoga…. it’s a practice- not a perfect- so leave that judgemental voice out of the picture! Bid it farewell. And speaking of judgemental voices, be sure you check out my previous blog New Decade – New Voice if you have not already done so. Carry on, my darlings!

Lead with Love… always and in all ways, JTC

New Decade – New Voice

“We all know it is there, no one is surprised, but we still usually underestimate the volume and tenacity of our internal critic.” Monica Dicristina

Happy New Decade, my darlings! I hope 2020 has greeted you with new dreams, new visions and an awareness of the unlimited possibilities and opportunities this new decade will bring us all.

I don’t know about you, but I feel that 2020 will be BIG!!! I also think it’s FINALLY time to stop thinking small, stop putting ourselves, and others, in boxes and rid ourselves- once and for all- of that old, critical and outdated voice that tricks us into thinking we can control things in our lives.

It’s time we bust our hearts and minds wide open, think LARGE and GRAND, be BOLD and BRAVE and operate from a space of knowing that we are ALWAYS and INEXTRICABLY connected to that higher power that is so much greater than our small ways of thinking and controlling.

The immediate impact of letting go of our old ways and old judgmental voices will be that our mind, body and spirit will finally be at ease (once you get into the habit of letting go, that is). Our hearts will want to do a happy dance. There’s nothing wrong with a little (or a whole lot of) dancing for that matter!

Let’s chat a bit about the issue of control. Wanting to control things is just an illusion- much like perfection. The more we drop the need to control, the easier that life flows. We’re more in sync with our higher self and intuition and the universal guidance that is always conspiring for our highest good.

As Blondie, my beloved Maui sister would say, “Why live in difficult world when you can live in easy world?” As a matter of fact, if you’re reading this Blondie, you are just the person to write a blog on living in easy world!

What I think that many people do not realize is how operating from a place of control keeps us stuck and living in difficult world (I know because I used to live there at one point in my life, but I had myself evicted). Nothing flows, everything is a struggle, grievance or problem, and the dis-ease and discomfort in our bodies show up as depression and/or anxiety, health issues and unhealthy habits. It’s time to kick these control issues to the curb… once and for all!!! Adios! Ciao! Bye!

Instead of those nasty, negative and destructive old voices in our heads, we must replace them with new voices that speak to our greatness and grandness that is ours by divine right.

Let’s start with a very basic limited belief that we were taught early in life: the need to please everyone. This is one of the most destructive beliefs we can take on. News flash darlings, we can’t please everyone. We waste so much valuable energy chasing this myth that it leaves us depleted and feeling dejected. That is a far cry from the magnificence which we need to embody!

It’s also time we let go of overworking ourselves to death in an effort to feel accomplished. All we’re accomplishing is getting to a state of perpetual exhaustion and feeling wiped-out, especially when that toxic voice in our head is sabotaging our accomplishments. Gag it. Adios! Ciao! Bye!

I’ve found that acknowledging our accomplishments is a much healthier, positive, motivating and less taxing way to approach things instead of focusing on what we didn’t get done. We can happily choose to celebrate the things we’ve completed.

And speaking of exhaustion, it’s time we let go of the notion that we are able to “catch up” on our sleep. We can’t. Shut that voice down immediately! Adios! Ciao! Bye!

Research has shown, time and time again, that we need seven to nine hours of sleep. Furthermore, we now know that constant lack of sleep can harm us genetically, negatively impact DNA repair and immunity. Sleep disruptions that affect the body’s circadian rhythm include the use of cell phones, computers and watching TV in bed or right up to bedtime. Again, research shows that shutting down all electronics about two hours prior to bedtime is the way to go. Personally, I guard my sleep like the sacred ritual it is (although, on some occasions, I am guilty of binge watching Netflix into the wee hours). I’m only human… wink, wink.

You know that irritating voice that makes you feel defeated, frustrated, and inferior when mindlessly scrolling through social media? Time to send that one packing! Adios! Ciao! Bye!

Why should we waste time comparing ourselves to others? Why allow that voice to be so destructive? Thanks to IT wizards, we can keep track our screen time, do a social media cleanse of our choice (we must always have choices) or even download apps that help us to stay focused. Today, I learned of the Forest app. It allows the user to a accrue points while building a forest, and then use these points to actually plant a tree in the Amazon (thanks, Denise, for this intel).

By any chance, are you someone who ALWAYS has to be in control at your job or place of employment? How’s that working for you? Yeah, I know, not that great… headaches, migraines, indigestion, anxiety, right? Bid that old you farewell. Adios! Ciao! Bye!

If always having to be in control is your modus operandi, it’s time to let go of that ASAP. I know how hard it can be when we want to do the best we can, provide the best service we can, and want things done in a way that we know only we can do it. But that’s not how many work places function today. There’s more of a collaborative environment these days. While control freaks tend to frown upon this, working collaboratively and in teams are necessary skills in today’s world. We all bring a myriad of skills with us, and our individual uniqueness adds to the flavor of our working relationships- especially when working remotely or with someone on the other side of the world.

A simple exercise to get in the habit of doing- well, it’s more like behavior modification- is to learn to control what we can control. What is ours to control. To be discerning. To pick and choose. To pause. To breathe. To assess. To accept.

Oftentimes, we end up disappointing ourselves when we try too hard at controlling things. Let’s face it, many situations and circumstances are truly out of our hands, so why should we even attempt to control them? Why should we work ourselves into a frenzy or get stuck in a downward spiral of negativity? Why should we get physically sick over it? In those kinds of situations, all we can really control is our attitude and release what is not in our hands to control. Acceptance is a beautiful thing!

Darlings, once we acknowledge, accept and have an unshakable faith in knowing that everything is in divine order and happening just the way it has to happen, we can breathe easier, be more peaceful, have more equanimity and know that the universe is handling all our affairs.

Universal force is something we can’t go up against. It is mighty, strong, intelligent, magical and comical. And if you can’t see it for what it is, then perhaps it’s time to shift your perspective or change your glasses… just sayin’!

It’s a new year. It’s a new decade. What are your wildest dreams for this grand new decade? How are you designing your life this year? What do you need to get clear and honest about? What controlling behaviors are holding you back? What voices inside your head need evicting?

Perhaps you’d like to spend a little time reflecting on this. Enlist your friends. Pick their brains, ask them for help, have some deep conversations around the topic of control… just make sure you have snacks. Snacks are always a must!

Here’s to a new you, a new decade AND a new voice!

Inhale Love & Light… Exhale Grace & Gratitude, JTC

The Paradox of Our Age

“It’s not enough to be busy, so are the ants. The question is: What are we busy about ” Henry David Thoreau

Greetings, my darlings!

I hope your Thanksgiving was filled with bountiful blessings and the warmth of family and friendship.

Thanksgiving weekend kicks in a time of “business” unlike any other time of the year. The thing is, all this business has a way of putting us on auto pilot rushing, rushing, rushing and, before we know it, we’re on the other end of the holidays, fatigued, and wondering where the time went and why we didn’t enjoy ourselves.

The key to enjoyment is to be… be present in each and every moment and interaction so that we can savor the beauty of the moment with all our senses. When on auto-pilot, we lose the ability to do so. We become more robotic and less human. More rigid and less flexible. More closed off and less open-hearted. Even our breath becomes more shallow.

As I was randomly looking through a gem of a book, Soul to Soul- Poems, Prayers and Stories to End a Yoga Class, I came across a lovely piece which speaks to the paradox of our age. The piece, along with conversations I had with different people this past week, actually inspired this blog.

Sooooo….on this first day of December, I invite us to take a moment to pause, read the poem below by the Dalai Lama, and see where it lands. Perhaps it will spark some conversation, reflection, or inspire us all to start doing humanity a little differently as we enter a new decade.

We have bigger houses but smaller families; More conveniences, but less time. We have more degrees, but less sense; More knowledge, but less judgement. More experts, but more problems; More medicines, but less healthiness; we’ve been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet the new neighbor. We’ve built more computers to hold more information to produce more copies than ever, but have less communication; We have become long on quantity, but short on quality. these are times of fast food but slow digestion; Tall man but short character; Steep profits but shallow relationships. It’s a time when there is so much in the window but nothing in the room.

So….. what are we busy about? And, more importantly, why?

Infinite Love and Gratitude, JTC

The Disease to Please

“If you have to change the essence of who you are for people, then there is something seriously wrong with that scenario.”

Do I look OK? Am I dressed right? What will he/she think? Why can’t I just be me? What will they think if I pass? What will they think if  I cancel plans? Can I tell the truth? Am I OK? Am I smart enough? Does what I have to say matter? Are they going to think I’m too much? Should I say anything? Should I voice my opinion? What if I can’t bring myself to…? How will  it look if I…?

Sound familiar? It should. After all, these are but a few of a long list of the unhealthy, detrimental and  disempowering questions we tend to ask ourselves over and over again, throughout our life, when we have fallen ill with the disease to please. 

You all know what I’m talking about, right? We’ve all been there. We’ve all succumbed to the perils of insecurity, incessant  thinking/questioning and the often fatal opinion of others. We spend so much of our lives worrying about what other people will have to say about us that we expend unreasonable, unproductive and unhealthy amounts of time and energy being all things but the most important: ourselves.

Over time, all this worrying, pondering and ruminating just serve to cause dis-ease in the body as well as the feeling that we are inept and not enough. It leaves us questioning our worth and our value.

The thing about disease though- if we don’t address the root cause, it will just spread like a malignant tumor.

There comes a point in our lives- and I think it comes with wisdom and life experience (not just book smarts, looks and youth), that we need to periodically take a step back, regroup, reassess, redefine,  and re-establish that essential essence of the magic, divinity and sacredness of who we are. We aren’t here to play small, succumb to bullshit nor people pleasing. We are here to break free of the chains that bind us- the limited and outdated beliefs that hinder us- step into our power and glory, take a hard look in the mirror and proudly say, “This is who I am…I AM supported, connected, one with the power of the universe, love, truth, open to divine wisdom and one with the infinite all, my higher self and angelic guidance.” And so it is!

The thing is that another person’s opinion of us should not be our problem. It’s their problem, and it usually is their problem because of their own unresolved issues that need tending and addressing. We each need to address our own “stuff” and deal with it. We, and only we, can determine when is the time to put that heavy load down.

When we decide to rid ourselves of that heaviness, we open up the space to let the light in. We open up the space for us to look at our issues and deal with them head on by digging deep into all the dark places. Remember… the issues are in the tissues. I actually wrote a blog by that name a while back. Check it out if you think it may serve you.

If we continue to “choose” to carry that weight around, we can rest assured that it will take  a toll on our health. Sleepless nights, irritability, anxiety, depression, anger, rage, resentment, gastrointestinal ailments,  overeating, not eating, high blood pressure, distraction, impatience, headaches, migraines, substance abuse….and just about every other ailment that comes along with not living an authentically beautiful and meaningful life.

Given the times we are living in, and all the divisiveness, separation and brokenness we are seeing around us, we are all being called to be and to give more of ourselves. In a podcast I was listening to, Sheri Slata said something that hit it right on the mark. She said, “Your best contribution to the world is your own happiness.”

We can do so by sharing our reality from the inside out, not the other way around. By digging deep and exploring who we want to be. We can look at who we spend time with, who is our very own circle of influence, and examine our shared values. We can look at the integrity of the lives we are living and analyze if it is in alignment with such values. After all, when we are out of alignment- physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually- our bodies will let us know.

It also helps to lean into our circle of friends, our community, sangha, and other trusted advisors to share our journey, tell our story and celebrate the many accomplishments that have brought us to where we are today. When we look back and connect the dots, we can see and appreciate how every single step was orchestrated to get us to where we are standing this very minute.

Where we’re standing may not be the exact place we’d like to be, but there is beauty in appreciating that as well.

Stand tall… and celebrate it all, my darlings!

Inhale Love & Light…Exhale Grace & Gratitude, JTC