The Blessed Pause

“Busy-ness steals imagination. Being constantly over scheduled dims creativity. Doing the most limits your capacity to expand.” -Octavia Raheem

Greetings, my darlings, and Happy New Year!

I meant to get this blog our sooner, but I have been taking a lot of time to rest since the start of the new year. If you read my previous blog, Blessings Bloom, then you know I made rest and honoring my body a huge priority starting January of last year. Well…it appears I’ve continued that…wink, wink.

SInce writing that blog, I decided that my word for 2022 was going to be Space. It kept popping up over and over again- in meditations, yoga nidra practices and social media posts. Space allows for the blessed pause. Or is it that the blessed pause allows for space? EIther way, they are both the antithesis of my most dreaded word, and one I have been dilligent about eliminating from my vocabulary, and that is busy.

In her IG post, yoga teacher, author, creator and teacher who is devoted to rest, Octavia Raheem, goes on to say:

“I used to respond to how are you with “busy,” a snorky smirk, then lift my chin with an air like being busy somehow proved that I was “somebody.” I was so proud of my over-scheduled life and wore busy as a badge of tired honor. My busy proved that I was important and worthy of something…I mean right? A messy truth is that my busy was costing me my health, relationships, clarity. It was costing me myself. My busy was a place to hide from a deeper calling and purpose and too much to fit in this space. But listen, busy can be a sneaky yet broad daylight type of thief. Stealing things from you that are priceless, precious and purposeful.”

WOW! POWERFUL! Can you relate? I sure can This was a very old version of me. I’ve written about that in past blogs over the years. And if you are a woman, head of household, perhaps a single parent, or someone juggling all the balls life throwing at you, I am certain Octavia’s words in one way, shape or form resonate for you.

Darlings, the start of a new year can exacerbate this “busyness” state without us even realizing it. January tends to be a time of year when people feel compelled to do, do, do because it’s the start of a new year, new beginnings, and perhaps a new you. Lists are made, planners get crammed with “goals” and “to do lists” and overscheduling of all types. Yet, the most important part of this time of year- especially in the northern hemisphere where it is winter season- is REST. It’s slowing down. Moving slowly. Honoring the cycles of the moon and sun. It’s the blessed pause.

Have you ever noticed that when we move slowly time goes by slowly as well? That when we pause we create space for clarity, connection and for our intuition to sharpen? That this space seems like we’ve been given extra time? So much of this is tied to our quality of life!

In fact, if we take a page out of Mother Nature’s book, we see the beauty of honoring the season and how important it is to go within, tap into our inner vastness and even “do nothing and rest afterwards” which happens to be one of my favorite sayings. Pausing and resting also allow for expansion and spaciousness. Who doesn’t want more spaceousness in their lives?

When we are on constant “doing mode” our nervous system is stressed, taxed, fatigued and overloaded. We miss the simple pleasures of the winter season. And these simple pleasures are extremely soothing, nourishing, expansive and vital for the soul and for our growth.

Taking the time to periodically disconnect from all the distractions of social media and the toxic, fear-mongering of the news cycle will also add to the quality of your life… the quality of your being. It gifts us with yet more space and time as well as inner peace.

Darlings, don’t limit your capacity to expand! In fact, I encourage you all to follow Octavia Raheem and her work. Her new book- Pause, Rest, Be: Stillness Practices for Courage in Times of Change will be released on February 1st. If you go on her IG, you will see other offerings of hers in addition to ways to be part of the virtual book club.

Given the times we are living, we need to not only have a hefty toolbox of spiritual tools and practices, but we must take action: put ourselves in the right physical, emotional and mental state and put the tools into place. This, my darlings, is an ongoing practice!!!

I wish you all the joys of the blessed pause! JTC

The Lost Art of Lounging

“Busyness is the greatest distraction from living, as we coast through our lives day after day, showing up for our obligations but being absent from ourselves, mistaking the doing for the being.” -Maria Popova

Greetings, my darlings! I hope this blog finds you in good spirits and enjoying the last few days of August.

Many of us may have just sent kids off to college, are preparing little ones to start school for the first time or maybe just getting kids organized and ready to start a new school year. For many educators, today, tomorrow or next Tuesday signals the dreaded “back to work” mentality. For those who work year round, maybe savoring the last few days of summer is your ardent mission.

Generally speaking, this is a time of year that people are cramming a lot in to their already packed days. Lounging may not necessarily be at the top of your “to do” list, but I’m here to tell you that it needs to be! Taking care of yourself is NOT selfish. It’s self-preservation!

The way I see it, is that so many people are addicted to “the art of busyness” that they have forgotten the beautiful, nurturing, nourishing, refreshing, revitalizing, inspiring and necessary “art of lounging.”

We all have responsibilities. Unfortunately though, it seems like people today tend to create much of the unnecessary busyness for themselves. Between feeling the need to be connected and reachable anytime of day or night, the incessant lure of social media feeds, and emails and news alerts repeatedly pinging at all hours, the self-imposed need to respond immediately, more and more people are spending more and more time of their day on their devices and in a perpetual state of distraction.

As a result, HUGE chunks of the average person’s day is consumed with mindless activities and stressors. All this constituting “busyness” is reaching epic and overwhelming proportions and is affecting our quality of life- how we enjoy life, how we engage in life and how we participate in social and familial settings.

All these stressors have the tendency to leave us fatigued and our nervous system in “flight or light” overdrive. More than ever we need to pause, stop, restore, replenish and return our nervous system back to “rest and digest” mode.

If you’ve been following my blog, you probably know that I am a self-imposed love and gratitude junkie and a HUGE proponent of self care. So it’s no secret that I consider myself to be The Queen of The Art Lounging. Yep, you heard me! And those who know me can attest to it.

Now don’t get me wrong, I can busy myself as much as the next person if I allow it. And I use the word “allow” because it is a choice. I also choose to guard my energy and make my rest and relaxation a top priority. And I do so by establishing little rituals I honor that refuel me, take my nervous system out of “red alert” mode, and allow me to enjoy my own company.

Whenever I’ve had a long day or a couple of back-to-back long days), one of my favorite things to do is to be in bed SUPER early. How early? Well…hold on now….ready??? Sometimes it can be as early as 6:30 pm. (I think I may have heard a gasp or a jaw or two drop).

I make sure I’ve lit some scented candles, have soothing music playing, take a hot shower or scented oil bath, slather on the lotions and the potions and the essential oils, do about 3-4 restorative poses (sometimes just legs up the wall will do), and then slip into my comfy bed. I surround myself with my journals, magazines or a good book and just allow myself to lounge…. sans phone!

Here’s the funny thing- I recall being in my 30’s and 40’s and my mother telling me how early she was in bed, or not to worry if I called her and she didn’t answer because it meant she was already sleeping, and I would shake my head and roll my eyes. I just didn’t get it. Needless to say, now I do…wink, wink.

When fully rested, we show up for ourselves. In turn, we can show up more consciously and be present for the people in our lives. We feel more grounded and less scattered. We enjoy our life more. We are more aware of the joy and love that surrounds us. We laugh more. We take in the beauty and the nature that is around us. We enjoy our pets. We are better able to connect with others. We engage with others more easily and happily.  We feel more inspired, creative and productive. We find ourselves allocating more time to doing the things we want to do or have been putting off doing. We have the ability to discern between doing real work and busy work. We become more skillful and learn to act instead of react. We become more grateful and graceful. In a nut shell, we become fully engaged participants in the ups and downs of life while still managing to enjoy and appreciate it all!

Darlings, I encourage each and every one of you reading this to take a moment to ask yourself the following question:

What can you do to be less busy and enjoy your life more?

Here’s to you and finding what the art of lounging looks like in your own world!

Inhale Love & Light… Exhale Grace & Gratitude, JTC

PS- Stay tuned to the next blog as I will be featuring a new Guest Blogger!