Moving on…Rest and Nourishment

“Walking, I am listening to a deeper way. Suddenly all my ancestors are behind me. Be still, they say. Watch and listen. You are the result of the love of thousands.” Linda Hogan

Greetings, darlings!

It has been exactly 4 months since my last blog!

If you read my last one from November 2022, you then know that I was in the middle of moving and on a 3 month constant cycle of purging, donating, giving away, packing and moving whatever was left into storage. All this while also traveling for weeks at a time. The good thing is that those getaways were built in rest periods…much needed rest periods given I’m not 25 anymore…wink, wink.

Whew! So where have I been and what have I been doing? Resting…..focusing on my 2023 word: Nourish….all things mind, body and spirit. And the good thing is that I closed out the year having moved and ready for more travel, visits with family, lots of pet therapy, and added rest and nourishment for which I am so blessed to be able to do and eternally grateful to have the time to do it.

I am enjoying basking in the sun, reading, rest practices like yoga nidra, lots of guided meditations, restorative and yin yoga, catching up on some shows, movies and podcasts, and even taking a social media break. I’ve also been listening to a lot of sound baths.

Sometime in the fall I came across the word nourish, and it delighted me. Right then and there I decided that it would be my word for 2023 ( given the “great move” that I was undertaking). I also spent a lot of time connecting with my ancestors for guidance, support and clarity. And speaking of support, here’s a shout out to the many friends who showed their love by showing up for me on numerous occasions, hauling plastic bins, boxes, clothing, shoes, furnishing, etc, etc….and did I mention feed me? Yep, they made sure I. was well fed through the process. Those who were unable to lend a hand held me, prayed for me, chcecked in on me, lent an ear and consoled me through the rollercoaster of emotions I was experiencing. I am so humbled and so very grateful!

I am also thankful a friend recommended College Hunks for Hire to move some of the heavier pieces into storage. Can I tell you how great, efficent, pleasurable and kind they were? I especially love that they have a partnership with U.S. Hunger, which supplies 2 nutritional meals to families in need for every move or junk removal they complete.

I like to chat people up ( suprise, suprise?) so, I ended up in beautiful conversations with the 3 young men…one in particular stood out. This young man, who was under 20 by the way, possesses the ability to “read” people. We chatted about being an empath, chanelling, owning his gift and then I shared some resources with him. As he was leaving, I asked him what, if anything, about me showed up. Needless to say, he was spot on! Oh, and we also chatted about self-care practices, care of Self, and the importance of connecting with spirit, our ancestors and higher power.

If you know me, follow me or have read some of my blogs, it’s no secret that I am a huge self-care advocate. Like many of you out there, I have learned the hard way. I’ve been brought to my knees and have crashed and burned enough times and, for years now, care of Self is paramount in my life. Needless to say, my post-move has required loads and loads of self-care, rest and nourishment.

I believe that caring for oneself and showering ourselves with loving kindness and compassion is a form of worship- a scared ritual and one that honors the Divine and the miracle that brought us into existence. Establishing rituals or, as I call them, “non-negotiables,” is a way to get clear about our well-being and peace of mind. Given the times we are living and the intense energy that surrounds us, it is imperative that we do whatever we can to ensure that we stay grounded, resourced and centered amidst that chaos that is swirling around us.

As I sat in reflection and was pondering what to include in this blog, I received an email from Dawn DelVecchio. She is known for her work around Sacred Feminine Leadership, runs women’s retreats, and I’ve participated in some of her Return of the Priestess workshops, seminares, etc. She also holds monthly global Prayers for Humanity.

Talk about alignemnt and syncronicities! Can you guess what her email newsletter was about? Well, if you guessed “non-negotiables” then you’re right. I chuckled to myself as I read through the email.

The reason I brought up Dawn is becasue she included some questions for reflection around self-care and establishing / identifying one’s non-negotiables. And…..you know how much I love self inquiry, so I would like to share them with you since caring is sharing in my world. The following questions help us to gain clarity around where we may be out of alignment with our own non-negotiables, body, mind and spirit:

What are my non-negotiables when it comes to my physical vessel; my health and wellbeing? (Be sure to include diet, exercise, nature, relationships and stressors)

What is stressing me out?

How can I shift in order to lower my stress?

What or who do I need less of in my life in order to better support my body’s central nervous system?

What am I consuming mentally on a regular basis?

Am I consuming information and experiences which raise my vibration or lower it?

Where do my thoughts drift to when set free to wander?

Are these thoughts mostly love-based or fear-based?

Where am I mentally picking over something that needs to be jettisoned now, rather than held onto any longer?

Who do I need to forgive or let off the hook?

Who am I holding grievances against? (this can include oneslef)

What is my relationship with my Creator?

Do I commune daily with Spirit? How? When?

What practices help me cultivate this relationship?

Do I feel love and supported by my creator?

Do I feel deeply, “knowing” that I am more that a body and mind journeying though time and space? Or is this still a concept without knowingness for me?

To further quote Dawn DelVecchio, “This question, ‘What are my non-negotiables?’ calls every aspect of our lives into focus for our reflection. From relationships to wellbeing, to how and what we do with our time, now is the time for us to at least explore and consider what has the most meaning and heart for us…and what does not serve us any longer.”

Additional questions arund relationship that Dawn poses for us are:

Am I being treated in alignment with love by my spouse/partner and next of kin?

Do my friends support my vision for my life? Are my friendships supportive of growth, creativity and spiritual values/priorities?

Do my relationships share energies of giving and receiving, or is it a 1-way street where one of us does all the giving and the other receives and takes?

Are there any relationships in my life which feel forced or obligatory?

How have past endings supported my own expansion?

Darlings, discernment (my word a few years ago) plays a vital role in helping us with our non-negotiables, wellbeing and peace of mind. I encourage us all to take some time to reflect on all these questions, write about them (or use voice notes if you prefer). Look at it as a way to NOURISH your own mind, body, spirit. Guaranteed you will even build in some rest time for your Self.

Oh, and by the way, if you’re wondering what my non-negotiables are, they are: yoga, prayer, meditation, journaling, a daily gratitude written practice, music/mantra, good nutrition, hydration, play, rest/sleep, meaninful time with friends and nature. All of these help me to stay grounded, resourced, centered, peaceful, loving, compassionate and non-reactive. I am better able to maintain the calm in the chaos and be the change I wish to see in my little corner of the world. I am walking, watching and listening in a deeper way!

Here’s to moving on-however that looks for you- and lots of rest and nourishment!

My pen and journal await…JTC

April 1, 2022

Faith. Hope. Love.

“You must not lose faith in humanity. Humanity is like an ocean; if a few drops of the ocean are dirty, the ocean does not become dirty.” Mahatma Gandhi

How is your heart?

Darlings, this is a question a couple of my teachers hav been repeatedly asking these days. It’s a question I wanted to write about in February’s blog- which I never ended up writing. It’s a question to sit with and ponder on a daily basis. It’s a question that may just reveal a whole lot of “stuff” given the times we are living. Stuff that you may just have stored “in there” somewhere and that is in need of feeling and releasing. That “somewhere” being your body-your cells: the place where all trauma is stored. And even your heart.

Pause for a moment. How is your heart?

Doesn’t it seem like the world is spiraling out of control? Do you sometimes find yourself losing faith? Losing hope? Wondering where has all the love gone?

Just when we are on the precipice of losing all faith in humanity, we see images from all over the world of people opening their homes and hearts to others who are in the midst of war and have lost everything and perhaps everyone in their family. Images that speak to the power of love and grace. Images that truly restore our faith in humanity and fill us with hope even in the midst of such atrocities.

I’m reminded of a quote by Desmond Tutu:

Hope is being able to see there is light despite all of the darkness.

It’s hard though. It’s also a practice: one that needs repeating again and again until it becomes second nature. It’s something we have to do because we are constantly being bombarded with real-time images and happenings. We are bearing witness to the best and the worst of humanity- which is both an upside as well as a downside of social media. However, in doing so, we ourselves may be triggered. Our own past traumas, perhaps accumulated and unhealed ones, may be rising to the surface and adding to the distress we may already be feeling.

What practices have you relied on in your life to get you through your darkest of times? What rituals allow you to see the light despite all of the darkness?

Darlings, we can’t lose faith. We can’t lose hope. We can’t lose love. Why not? Because the world has always been in some sort of turmoil since the beginning of time. All our ancestors have had to bear witness to traumas of all kinds: wars, famine, genocides, pandemics, social and racial injustices, economic injustices, terrorism, devastation, and unimaginable atrocities. These are the things that have brought about change, evolvement, awakening, activism, movements, technologies, etc., etc., etc. For better or worse, humanity has been moving forward.

As author and researcher Brene Brown recently said, “Understanding our emotions and experiences is our life’s work. The more we learn, the deeper we can continue to explore.”

Her book, Atlas of the Heart, may be something you’d like to check out. I recently started reading and it is so rich in research and human emotions! As a matter of fact, a five-part series built around the research and teachings of Atlas of the Heart, is out and streaming on HBO Max. Check it out…check it out…check it out!

How is your heart?

This is a wonderful question that will be sure to illicit lots of deep and meaningful thoughts and conversations. Give it a try….you may be surprised at all that arises time and time again!

One breath, one moment, one day at a time…may we all lead from the heart…right from the start! JTC

December 29, 2021

Blessings Bloom

“The most valuable possession you can have is an open heart.” Carlos Santana

Wow! Here we are, at the end of yet another tumultuous year! Where did you go, 2021?

If there is anything that 2020 and 2021 have taught us as a collective, is that life is messy! I believe that to really feel and live the messy, human experience, we have to enjoy the beauty in the mess. Find the joy. Keep an open heart. Looks for ways to expand. Love hard. Love deeply. Spread the love, and find the blessings that are always blooming around us.

This time last year, we were all faced with looking back at a year that brought with it collective grief, loss, violence, trauma and heartbreak. This time last year the general sentiment was that we needed 2021 to be filled with hope, kindness, compassion, empathy, peace, unity, community, reverence and respect for all of humanity and, above all, LOVE. After the cards 2020 dealt us, we were ready for some BIG changes.

How was 2021 for you? Did you experience any big changes or shifts? How did you show up for your Self and others? How did others show up for you? Did you find yourself re-evaluating relationships and the value, or lack thereof, that people bring to your life? Did you intentionally make any big changes in your life? Did you set a goal or have a vision for 2021? Did you have a particular word for the year? Do you have a vision or a word for 2022?

For me personally, 2021 flew by in a heartbeat!!! I feel like I was so much more productive in 2020. However, I did feel more present, expansive, resourced, rooted and rested than ever before. I made rest and honoring my body a huge priority starting January 2021 since I knew I was going to have one of my knees replaced. My focus was keeping my nervous system regulated and in rest and digest mode. A necessary part of that was also keeping fear mongers at bay and not operating from the matrix of fear.

I think what also helped was that my word for the year in 2021 was REVERENCE….for all things and all beings. Feeling deeply became a practice as did finding the blessing no matter how messy life got.

I feel that I dedicated my time to what and who mattered most and balanced play with rest. With reverence as my guide, I was very intentional and discerning with how, what, where and with whom to expend my energy- especially given the energy I would need to have for the months following my surgery.

Choosing reverence as my word for 2021 came on the heals of discernment and intention (words for the two years prior). In my estimation, they are a perfect trifecta. And that trifecta is made even sweeter by bringing in the rest piece. If you missed my August blog titled, The Power of Resting Radiantly, you may want to check it out.

See, the thing about being fully rested is that it allows us to be present, intentional, discerning and in a space where we see blessings bloom…..and being able to find, and even enjoy, the blessings in the mess. Let’s face it, we make better decisions in all areas of our lives when we are rested. We are better equipped to deal with the messy aspect of our lives. Heck, we are even able to feel the gratitude those moments present regardless of how challenging they may be.

The most magical thing about being fully rested is our connection to the Divine. Our intuition is sharpened, we can feel and sense the downloads happening and the ways inspiration and guidance are presenting themselves. We are more awake and open to life’s synchronicities and are more present in our daily interactions. More importantly though, I feel that we are better able to get out of our heads and drop into our hearts. In doing so, we approach life, people, circumstances and just about everything else with an open heart.

In dropping into my heart center, I think my word for this next year may be either connection or integration. Exploring all sorts of connections and keeping an open heart to what lays ahead, what may show up, and the blessings that bloom around it all. Sometimes making connections also involves reflecting back on where we’ve been and how we got to where we are. A little self-inquiry can help guide the way.

Being able to integrate all of it is also a work in progress and a determining factor as to how we proceed and how we show up for this human experience. Who says I can’t choose 2 words….wink, wink!?!?!

A self-inquiry process allows us to have or establish a vision of where we want to go, where we want to be either personally or professionally, what we need to change or refine and further identify things, people, situations or circumstances that are no longer serving our highest good. These, too, are blessings!

What are some blessings you would like to see bloom in 2022?

What are some of the practices that would support YOUR physical, mental, spiritual and emotional health?

As we bring 2021 to a close, I will leave you with some lovely affirmations from Yoga with Kassandra that will help support you and your practices as you venture into a new year. May they serve you well and, as the saying goes, take what you need and leave the rest!

I treat my body with love and respect

I allow all parts of me to be expressed.

In this moment I release all thoughts and worry.

When challenges arise, I stay anchored in hope.

I allow myself to slow down and rest.

My self-esteem is growing day by day.

I send healing energy to all parts of my body.

Darlings, I thank you for support, comments, feedback and for taking the time to read my blogs. May 2022 bring you all sorts of abundant blessings, and may you have the clarity, calm and ease to receive them- even if they come disguised as challenges.

Just remember, an open heart is our most valuable possession! JTC

November 25, 2021November 25, 2021

Love, Gratitude and Blessings

“All the great teachers have left us with a similar message: Go within, discover your invisible higher self, and know God is the LOVE that resides within you.” -Wayne Dyer

Imagine the world we could live in if everyone was consciously connected to the divine LOVE that resides within each and every one of us. Imagine if we all acted from this space. Imagine if we all took the time to make connecting with our higher self a practice. Imagine if love was a way of life for all human beings.

Imagine if we all had some kind of formal GRATITUDE practice. Imagine if gratitude was our daily attitude. Imagine if gratefulness was the state we embodied. Imagine if gratitude was our forever companion.

Imagine if we all saw the BLESSINGS that abound. Imagine if we all took the time to see the lessons and the blessings that always present themselves. Imagine if blessings didn’t exist.

Imagine if we all led from a place of love, gratitude and blessings. Imagine if we could all be a healthy bridge between past and future generations. Imagine the healing that would provide. Imagine how proud our ancestors, known and unknown, would be of us all. These are some of the things I’ve been pondering this week.

Baby steps though…it all begins with each and every one of us committing to going within, connecting to the love that is our essence, doing the work, dealing with and clearing past traumas, limiting beliefs as well as conscious and unconscious biases that do not serve us and doing our part to dismantle systems of oppression that are not serving all of humanity. Knowledge is POWER! And as Maya Angelous always said, “When you know better, do better.”

Yesterday I took a beautiful class with Acosia Red Elk. She is an Enrolled Member of the Umatilla Tribe in Northeastern Oregon. One of her many talents is that she is an Indigenous Yoga Teacher and Facilitator. The class was a 7 Generation Prayer Flow and Time Line Clearing, and it was so powerful, emotional and moving!!!

I especially loved the way she referred to us all being a mini earth and that we are also the ripple effect of the past. One of the things that struck me was when she said that we are all indigenous people and that we all carry indigenous wisdom in our body. The knowingness is there, my darlings. We just have to create the space and the practices to connect, ground and access this inner wisdom that has been passed down for generations and generations.

Our bodies are filled with knowledge and information. This information is the rippling effect of each choice and life experience that our ancestors and elders had. ..in other words, “The teachings of our ancestors were the foundation for who and where we are today.” When Acosia Red Elk said this, I was overcome with emotion. The tears were stinging my eyes! I found myself breathing deeply into this knowing. I felt it in my bones.

If we take the time to think about our ancestors, regardless of when they existed on this planet and the lessons, experiences and choices with which they were faced, they all had the same goal: to thrive and survive. I’ve often said that we are our ancestors unfulfilled wishes, unspoken words, the product of their hopes and dreams, and the answers to their prayers. That, in itself, is so powerful!

When we take the time to acknowledge these things, hold them in love and gratitude without judging them, we can see the blessing that we are. We can see how we stand on the shoulders of fiercely determined individuals who fought, prayed and dreamed for all of us who are alive at this very moment in time. Now what do we do with that knowledge?

On this day of remembering, one that is complicated and painful for many, I leave you with the following:

What kind of ancestor do you want to be for future generations?

What kind of bridge do you want to build in order to connect past and future generations?

What kind of world and planet do you want to leave for future generations to inherit?

How can you honor those who came before you?

What wisdom can you pass on to your loved ones?

What teachings have served you on your journey thus far?

Which ones haven’t?

What learned behaviors have been an obstacle and are in need of clearing?

What must you forgive your Self for?

Who or what in your life is in need of forgiving?

How can you commit to being the change in your little corner of the universe?

What kind of ripple do you want to be?

Despite everything currently going on in our world, please do not be discouraged by it. I encourage us all to see the good in the world because there truly is a whole lot of it! We can each be a part of it….we can each be a wonder in the world…one that is filled with remembrance, truth, love, gratitude and blessings!

Remember to lead form the heart…right from the start! JTC

October 31, 2021November 1, 2021

A Letter to My Ancestors

“Today has been prayed over. This week has been prayed over. I am held. We are held.” Octavia Raheen

On this auspicious day, Halloween, when it is believed that the veil between the realms of living and dead becomes the thinnest, I wanted to take some time to connect with my ancestors. So…earlier today I took out my journal and penned the following:

To my Beloved Ancestors; Known and Unknown,

It is with a full, infinitely grateful heart that I thank you for the lives you’ve lived, the roads you’ve traveled and your eternal presence on the other side. I know I come from a lineage of fiercely strong women and determined men whose shoulders I stand on and who’ve made it possible for me to walk this earth for the past 63 years. I know I am your answered prayers, hopes and dreams fulfilled, and the voice many of you did not have given the centuries you traversed this planet and all the countries from which you come…Portugal, Spain, France, Cuba…just to name a few.

I am in awe of the centuries of love and wisdom- as well as struggle, determination, perseverance and resilience- that accompanies me and has for the past 63 years. To think that some of you never even lived to half my age given the times and conditions in which you lived! You’ve been my constant companions, guides, sages and guests in all of my homes whether or not I knew it at the time. Now, the door is always open. there’s always an empty seat at my table and I know you’re riding shotgun with me…wink, wink.

Thank you for the love and guidance in, and over, my life. The core of my inner being feels held, supported, nurtured and surrounded by your luminous light. I wish I would have been able to meet more of you in my lifetime! That day will come though…

With an open, love-filled heart and open mind, I ask that you continue making your presence known to me. I’m in awe of the most sublte as well as monumental ways you communicate with me. May I always stay awake to these magical and magnificent moments in time!

The more I connect with my breath, the more I feel your life force breathing through me. The more I connect with my intuition, the more I sense your guidance and subtle nudging. And the more I sit in silence, the louder your voices come through. The more I ask, the quicker I receive. Thank you for these moments!

I know I am divinely guided, guarded, directed and protected. Thank you for surrounding me with your love and light always…and in all ways.

Every fiber of my being is a tapestry that has been energetically woven throughout space and time by all of you, known and unknown. I bow in reference to you all!

Jo-Ann Theresa Carricarte

September 18, 2021

The Culture of Fear…Us vs. Them

“What if our religion was each other? If our practice was our life? If prayer was our words? What if the temple was the Earth? If forests were our church? If holy water- the rivers, lakes and oceans? What if meditation was out relationships? If the Teacher was life? If wisdom was self-knowledge? If love was the center of our being?” Ganga White

Oh to live in this world and in that way! Guess what though, darlings? We can if we choose to!

Love is a way of life. Pure and simple. And when we stray from that, most likely, we’ll find ourselves operating from a place of fear. Fear divides, separates, isolates and harms.

On this 20th anniversary of 9/11, I find myself thinking about the “culture of fear” that took hold in the aftermath of 9/11. A culture of fear that has permeated every area of life, society, politics and humanity. A culture of fear that we saw at the onset of war 20 years ago all the way up to the insurrection this past January and everything in between, and we continue to see…. despite different presidents, administrations and policies and the downside of social media.

The questions that continue to resurface for me time and time again are:

“How have you shown up in the past 20 years?”

“How do you want to show up in the next 5, 10, 15 or 20 years?

“What is your relationship with fear?”

“Do you operate from a place of fear or a place of love?”

“Are you able to look at others who are different from you from a place of love?”

“How do you feel when you encounter someone who looks different than you? Of a different race, religion, color, or culture than you?

“How have you bought into the culture of fear?”

“In what areas of your life do you operate from fear?”

“Are you able to “ignore the story and see the soul” as one of my beloved teachers and author of Revolution Within, Seane Corn, encourages us to do? “

The greatest poets, mystics, spiritual and religious teachers have taught us and continue to teach us that separation, division and fear separate us from our truest essence and connection to the Divine- that which is pure love- God’s only religion (and when I say God I mean the God of your own understanding be it a higher power, the Holy Mother, Mother Earth, the cosmos, the universe, etc).

Fear separates us. Fear makes us do crazy things. Fear makes us operate from a place of scarcity. Fear gets us into wars. Fear kills, maims, ostracizes, isolates, and destroys everything in its wake. Fear is the great divide. Fear divides us into two clearly distinct camps- us vs. them.

In my humble opinion, It is in the wake of the 20th anniversary of 9/11 that we all should be doing some MAJOR self analysis, self-inquiry and inner investigation (just a few of my favorite things) because our future, our world and our legacy depend on it. I found some inspiration, as well as a deep sense of grief, in the words of Kerri Kelly, founder of @ctznwell, author, podcaster and speaker:

“I had thought 9/11 was the worst of it- the most unimaginable and devastating loss- but it was just the beginning for so many. Since then, people of Arab and South Asian descent have been intimidated, surveilled, incarcerated and killed in exponentially increasing numbers. Military service members have given and taken their lives. Families have been torn apart through brutal immigration policies and mass incarceration. Millions of Americans have been surveilled and harassed. Black and brown communities have been targeted by racist militarism turned inward through law enforcement. And too many of us have given into a culture of fear, distrust and division.”

Her words alone give us much to reflect on, investigate, question, and even grieve. In one of her recent posts, where the words above come from, Kerri Kelly poses the following questions

What did we learn from the past 20 years?

Where has violence and militarism gotten us?

How do we repair the harm at home and around the world?

How do we create the conditions for true safety and care for all people?

How do we be good ancestors to those we lost?

How do we shift the legacy of 9/11 from one war to one of collective care?

I was fortunate to catch an interview with Kerri Kelly and Valerie Kaur on the anniversary of 9/11 and found myself lost in thought and thinking about this entire event with a different set of lenses. I don’t know about you, but I know I was a totally different person on so many levels 20 years ago. However, the one thing that has been a constant for me though has been love and following my heart. So… it’s not surprising that I was drawn to Ms. Kaur. I learned of Valerie Kaur a couple of years ago when I saw an interview about her work and her book and, since it all revolves around my favorite topic, love, I was instantly drawn to her and started following her work.

Valerie Kaur is a civil rights leader and founder of The Revolutionary Love Project. She is also the author of See No Stranger. The Revolutionary Love Project “envisions a world where love is public ethic and shared practice in our lives and politics.” They generate stories, tools and thought leadership to equip people to practice the ethic of love in the fight for social justice. The Revolutionary Love Project inspires people to build beloved communities where they are. They teach core practices of revolutionary love backed by research and infused with ancestral wisdom. In addition to educational tools, they produce training, courses, artwork, film, music and mass mobilization that center the voices of BIPOC communities. It is their belief that we can “birth a world where we see no stranger.”

For the 20th anniversary of 9/11, Valerie Kaur recently re-released the film, Divided We Fall – Americans in the Aftermath, that was made in 2006 and is just as relevant today. You can see the film for free and access the Educator’s Guide to the film as well as the Screening and Dialogue Guide at valeriekaur.com. The film apparently toured hundreds of US cities, won international awards and became known as the “go-to documentary on post 9/11 hate crimes.”

Darlings, the tools are out there for those of us who want to be part of re-imagining and birthing a new world. It takes work, a lot of self-study, blood, sweat and tears, but wouldn’t it be worth it if we could play a small part in birthing this new world? What a way to honor and pay homage to our ancestors, those who lost their lives in past wars, on 9/11 and its aftermath!!! Imagine the world we could create for future generations? And speaking of future generations, what world would you like for them to inherit? What legacy do you want to leave behind?

It is my hope that this blog has made you pause, think and reflect. Perhaps some of my questions resonated for you? Perhaps you feel inspired by Kerri’s words, feel motivated to read See No Stranger or interested in looking into The Revolutionary Love Project?

Remember…when faced with a choice, always choose Love over Fear…Love can be a way of life…pure and simple!

May you always lead from the heart…right from the start, JTC

May 3, 2021May 3, 2021

She Ready…

“Let choice whisper in your ear and love murmur in your heart. Be ready. Here comes life.” Maya Angelou

She ready…not to be confused with the Netflix comedy by the same name. When I say “She,” I mean Me.

Ready for what you may ask? Well… I mean ready for life. The quality of life that comes when you finally make the decision to have your knee replaced after four, long, agonizing years of pain, being able to do less and less, being limited to the activities you do, how much time you spend on your feet, how far you walk, and being kept from truly savoring and enjoying the juicy life you are used to living.

You see, having a high tolerance for pain can be a double edge sword. I’ve been so used to body pain since I’m 15 years old that, with each orthopedic surgery, I’ve become accustomed to tolerating excruciating pain- unbeknownst to others because I’m not the type to bitch and moan. This is not to say that you may not be aware I’m in pain, but most people in my world have no idea the level of pain I’ve tolerated since I needed my first orthopedic surgery at 15….I am now a young 62 and resilient AF!

The decision to undergo a 6th orthopedic surgery did not come easily. However, when I look back at 2020 and everything that brought me to the decision to have surgery, I can connect the dots and see how, unbeknownst to me at the time, I was prepping my nervous system for the assault, beating and trauma my body will take. As I stated earlier though…She Ready!

Since the beginning of the pandemic/lock down, I’ve spent a lot of time studying, learning and expanding my knowledge on trauma and resilience, It has included all kinds of trauma and the effects of it on the body and on the nervous system. It all started with a trauma informed yoga training I did which deepened my understanding on the numerous types of trauma that imprint themselves in the body, how the body keeps score and our responses to trauma. I’m not going to get into all of that because I’ve written blogs in the past of how our issues are in the tissues, and have even included some resources, etc. etc. Remember, sharing is caring!

Needless to say, my thirst to understand all kinds of trauma and causes of trauma; especially raced-based trauma, generational trauma, inherited trauma, cumulative trauma, developmental trauma, shock trauma, the vagus system, and responses to trauma was heightened. I’ve taken a deep dive into all kinds of books, stories, podcasts, webinars and summits solely centered around the personal experiences of black bodies of culture. With the exception of a handful of books written by white authors, all the books I’ve been reading since last year have been written by black and brown people of color. That was, and continues to be, an intentional decision on my part.

So what does all this have to do with making the decision to have surgery yet again? Well, my studies have also had me very focused on the effects of trauma on one’s nervous system- and regulating my own nervous system- especially in light of the collective trauma we have been experiencing as a global family. In addition to deeply resting, which is a practice in and of itself (more on that in my next blog), I have utilized all my tools and practices daily, without fail, and that has kept me deeply rooted, grounded, resourced, relaxed, rested, non-reactive and connected to Source…the whisper in my ear, the love in my heart and the spiritual GPS at the core of my being.

There’s no place for fear here: Faith/Love over Fear…always and in all ways!

Learning to listen to your body is a practice. I’ve learned to drop into my body, its sensations and what this intelligence is telling me. This inner-knowingness, this faith, conviction and connection to the divine never steers me wrong. On the contrary, when I haven’t listened to that whisper, things go awry. Like Lady O says, “First comes the whisper, then the nudge, then the rock, then the brick and then the brick wall.”

Darlings, we cannot ignore our connection, guidance and direction to that which is greater than us. I totally realize that what works for me may not work for you. But that’s where boundaries and discernment come into play and fear mongers are kept at bay.That’s where focus comes into play and allow it to guide your way. What we choose to focus on greatly influences and determines the quality of our lives, the quality of our decision-making and, ultimately, our peace of mind. Personally, I do not make decisions from a place of fear. Been there, done that and nothing good has ever come of it!

It was that connection to Source that awakened me in the wee hours one morning and clearly directed me to cancel a much-needed R&R trip to Florida (aka my beloved Hollywood Riviera) and move up my surgery. I was truly looking forward to lounging and soaking up sun, swimming everyday, spending time with my cousins and close friends, getting a little pet therapy and even attending a wedding. However, the message I received was loud and clear! It also echoed what I already knew and what some of my closest peeps had already articulated to me.

You see, I’m the first one to always tell everyone that we must take care of our Self FIRST. That we are no good to anyone else if we don’t put ourselves first. That quality of life needs to inform our decisions. That we must always listen to our bodies. Well…..I guess you can say that I was fed a hefty dose of my own medicine…wink, wink.

As of this writing, I am 8 days away from having my knee replaced- and fortunately it’s not on the same side that has already endured five surgeries and all the trauma and long-term effects they’ve had on me. I am actually looking forward to being on the other side of this, You see, when you’re bone-on-bone, no amount of PT, anti-inflamatory, injections, exercise, massage, CBD, etc., will alleviate the pain. The pain will continue to worsen-as it has. The beauty with surgery is that surgical pain has a beginning and an END date!

Pain robs a person of so many things including their motivation and inspiration. I’d like to say that my studies have kept me from blogging, that I want to be intentional with what I blog about, that I’ve been enjoying spending time on the Jersey Shore, or that I’ve been very engaged celebrating life. While there is some semblance of truth to all of that, I believe that the primary reason I have not blogged in months is attributed to finding out in January that I needed surgery- as well as the escalating pain which, to some degree, also zapped me of my own motivation and inspiration. I was stuck in that pain vortex which zaps your spirit and your energy.

But now…She Ready…more than ready!

My choice is to let love guide the way….always and in all ways!

She Ready…Ready to reclaim my life, my power, my purpose and my joy!!!

Lead from the heart…Right from the start! JTC

PS. Here’s an affirmation from yesterday’s Wayne Dyer calendar: “I’m here on purpose, I can accomplish anything I desire, and I do it by being in harmony with the all pervading creative force in the universe “

February 14, 2021February 14, 2021

Sharing Love

“The chance to love and be loved exist wherever you are.”

So does the opportunity to share the love others put out there. And that is precisely what I’ve chosen to do on this Valentine’s Day 2021. As I read Maria Shriver’s Sunday Paper just now, I realized that all the sentiments she expressed resonated for me. I could not have written it any better!

So… in the spirit of caring, sharing and loving on this Valentine’s Day 2021, I’ve decided to share Maria Shriver’s essay, titled “Rest in Love.” I realize some of you may already subscribe to The Sunday Paper. In that case, read no further. Just know I’m sending you BIG love from my heart to yours.

I hope Maria’s essay lands just where it needs to land on this day…. right smack in your heart space. I invite you to have a journal or something to write on so that you can reflect on the essay and write about the feelings, emotions, experiences, memories, dreams, hopes, sensations and intentions that may have arisen as you read. Here goes….

Happy Valentine’s Day!

Does hearing that make you smile, or does it make you weep? Are you looking forward to today, or are you mad that you aren’t where you want to be when it comes to love? If your answer is the latter, let’s take a walk (not a real one, of course, although I’d love that). Let’s take a moment to simply connect and be.

After all, that’s what love is really all about. It’s about being wholly yourself with another human and feeling loved for who you are. It’s not about a fancy dinner, a piece of jewelry, flowers, sex, or chocolates. Don’t get me wrong, those things are great, but they don’t define love on their own.

Love is deep. It’s varied. It’s complex and yet also simple. It’s romantic but also platonic. It can fill your heart up, and it can break it into a thousand little pieces.

I’ve learned a lot about love over the years—what it is and isn’t—and much of what I’ve learned has come from a painful place. That said, it’s all helped me get to a more loving space in my life.

Here are a few things I’ve learned:

Love is about acceptance. It’s not about changing someone to fit your needs.

Love is about feeling fully seen and understood. It’s also about loving yourself deeply and wholly first. Don’t try to alter yourself to gain love. It doesn’t work.

I wish I’d known about all the different love languages (they are really important and useful). I wish I’d known that every single person speaks love differently and needs something different from you. Challenge yourself to learn the love language of the people in your life.

I wish I’d known the importance of clearing up and cleaning up your attachment issues before you unconsciously throw them onto someone who has no idea what they are responsible for.

I wish I’d known that love can go slow. It doesn’t have to be fast, exciting, or on the edge. As a friend once said to me, contentment is underrated.

I wish I’d known that some people simply want to rest in love. They just want to be, not do. Be courageous enough to rest with love.

I wish I’d known that a deep friendship and a deep love can go together. I wish I’d known that conflict was inevitable in love, and that learning how to argue effectively is an art form that can actually bring people together.

I wish I’d known that everyone has triggers, and everyone has trauma. Be informed about both, otherwise you are going to keep tripping on land mines.

To be good at love you have to be courageous enough to apologize. Ask for forgiveness. You have to make your relationship a priority. Get good at continuing to make it so.

And, if you come to find yourself feeling less than, gaslit, or scared, know that is not love. Value yourself enough to get up and go even if you don’t know where you are going. And if you are scared to leave for any reason, seek help.

I wish I’d been better prepared for the ups and downs of love and life. Actually, it turns out I was prepared. I just didn’t know it.

When it comes to love, I feel like I’ve learned a lot and like I’ve also learned nothing at alI. I feel like I’m really good at it, even though I’ve made mistakes. Today, my eyes are wide open to love. I see love in me that I never saw before. That makes me happy.

I also see it in people and places I never even noticed before. That makes me grateful. My heart, though bruised, is also wide open. Leonard Cohen wrote that the cracks are what allow the light to get in. I would add that the cracks are what allows the love to get in as well.

Not too long ago, I had a dream that had a profound impact on me. I was out in The Open Field. I was very much alive, and music was playing. I was happy. I was dressed like I was in high school, which is to say like a flower child. I was surrounded by people who have loved me, and even those who have broken my heart. I went to each person and thanked them for being there. I thanked them for loving me, supporting me, and teaching me what I needed to learn. I told them how grateful I was for the love and the lessons. To me, the fact that they were in my dream signaled that the love we shared was still there. It signaled that love had endured even though I didn’t think that it had.

I also took a moment to apologize to those who loved me that I couldn’t love back. I was struck by that; sometimes you can’t love someone who loves you, and sometimes someone you love can’t love you back. It’s usually for a whole bunch of reasons that have nothing to do with you. Remember that.

I’m sharing this with you now just in case you find yourself alone today. Just in case you find yourself dealing with a broken heart today. Just in case you don’t have a date tonight. (I don’t either, lol.)

You see, I believe that everyone who ever loved me, and who ever loved you, still does. That’s true regardless of whether they are still around or not. Their love lives on in you.

That’s the thing about love. The person who loved you may no longer be here. They may have broken your heart, ghosted you, or passed away. But the memory of how you felt when it was good, when your heart felt full, that’s yours. They can’t take that away. You can bring that forth any time you want. You can make your heart feel full even if they are no longer looking into your eyes.

And if you find yourself today still in the midst of a relationship that is challenging or traumatic, then give yourself extra love. If you want to leave, know that you have the strength to do so. Dig deep. You can find it. I know that when things are bad, it can be hard to see the way out. But get quiet and ask yourself what you need. Maybe it’s the courage to speak up, or maybe it’s help from someone else. Believe that you can get there. You can.

So on this day when the world is celebrating what feels like one kind of love, go easy and know that love doesn’t only come in one shape or size. If you don’t have a valentine, don’t despair. Be open today to other gestures of love. Let them in. If someone tells you today that you have made them feel loved—a friend, a child, whomever—let it land. That’s love too.

And if you are in love, if you have your person, count your blessings. Celebrate what you have and be gentle with it because love is so very fragile. It’s the greatest gift of all, and nothing else compares. That’s the truth.

Today, also be mindful of what you say to yourself. Be kind, be loving, and focus on filling your heart up. That’s not someone else’s job. It’s your own. Don’t worry about the cracks. Those that love the best have lots of cracks. Those that love the best have told me there’s no one big secret to enduring love. It’s just lots of little decisions and choices along the way that keep you in conversation, in connection, in commitment, in forgiveness, and in acceptance.

Know that you are worthy of being loved fully, wholly, and completely until the end of God’s time. Believe me, it’s true. Happy Valentine’s Day.

November 3, 2020November 3, 2020

Mirror, Mirror

“Imagine a country whose citizens-maybe even its leaders- are brave, calm, and open towards each other; A country whose people realize that all human beings belong together as one family and must act accordingly; a country guided by common sense.” BR. David Steindl- Rast

Today is Election Day here in the U.S., and I wanted to take a moment to commemorate this moment in history that I (and everyone who I reading this) am blessed with being alive to experience. We are all part of history in the making.

I’m not attached to any election outcome. Non-attachment is a Buddhist mindset I’ve learned to cultivate over the years because of the simple fact the attachments lead to suffering. Nonattachment is a practice, and I’m a firm believer that whatever happens is happening for a reason and that life happens FOR us not to us.

I believe the past four years- and especially the past eight months since the pandemic- have held up a mirror to all of us. A mirror to look at the divide and brokenness within ourselves, our own internal biases, prejudices, anger, trauma and see where we can be more compassionate, loving, and accepting. This, of course, is a practice as well.

During these times of uncertainty, the one certainty is that what is occurring in our nation is a direct reflection of the heart and soul of each and every one of us.

As one of my teachers and mentors often reminds us, the times we’ve been living have been challenging us to step fully into all of it: our fear, anxiety, division, and transform that to empathy, compassion, and a deep love of self and of others.

The mirror that is being held up to us is there to truly and deeply examine our own lives, challenges, attachments, privileges, thoughts, actions, entitlements, speech, choices, relationships, beliefs, biases, and the role we are each playing in the healing of humanity and of our planet. I believe the mirror is there for us to deeply examine our own personal integrity and values.

Regardless of the outcome of today’s election, what will be revealed is the true nature and soul of our country… of its people.

Weeks ago, I came across a post that my neighbor borrowed from a friend- who probably borrowed from a friend, etc., etc. It’s a piece that was written by a President Trump supporter and one that really spoke to me. It speaks to the times we’re living and experiencing- individually and collectively- it speaks to the failure to communicate, to our humanity, integrity, dignity, values, disappointment, reverence for life and the fracture of relationships, friendships and society. I’ve shared it with many friends since having read it, and I’ve come back to it again and again. It’s both haunting and sobering.

So on this Election Day, I will leave you with that post. I don’t know who wrote it or where it originated. All I know is that whomever has shared it has “borrowed it from a friend.”

“I know you think I’m preoccupied with this President; that he is the reason I’m so angry and bitter and frustrated these days—but you’re wrong. This isn’t about Donald Trump.

It’s never been about him.

It wasn’t about him during the campaign or on Election Day.

It wasn’t about him when recordings of him boasting about sexual assaults surfaced.

It wasn’t about him when he said protestors at campaign rallies should be roughed up.

It wasn’t about him when he left refugee families stranded at the airport.

It wasn’t about him when he attacked the press.

It wasn’t about him when he sabotaged the Affordable Care Act.

It wasn’t about him when he blamed racial violence on “both sides.”

And it isn’t about him today: it’s about us.

This is about me and it’s about you.

It’s about my grief at the ugliness you feel emboldened to post on social media now, the nastiness you seem newly capable of, the disgusting words you now so easily toss out around the dinner table.

It’s about my disbelief at your sudden tolerance for his infidelity, his cruelty, his intellectual ignorance, his immorality, his disrespect for the rule of law, his alliances with dictators — things you once claimed you could never abide in a leader.

It’s about my incredulity at your surprising resentment for marginalized people; for your inability to muster any compassion for those who are hurting or frightened or threatened.

It’s about my disappointment at your easily manipulated nationalistic fervor; how the God and Guns, America First, Love it or Leave it rhetoric, so easily took root in your heart — how hostile to outsiders and foreigners you’ve become.

It’s about my amazement at your capacity to make your faith so pliable, that you could amen a compulsive liar, a serial adulterer, a fear-mongering bully; a man in nearly every way antithetical to the Jesus you’ve always said was so dear to you.

It’s about my sickness seeing you excuse away his coddling of racists, his public attacks on the FBI, his impulsive firings of Cabinet members, his Tweet rants against individual citizens and American companies.

It’s about my grief seeing you respond to his near-hourly display of recklessness and overreach, with a shrug of your shoulders or a turning away from it all.

It’s about me watching you ignore in him and even celebrate in him, the very things you claimed made Hillary Clinton the ‘greater of two evils’ when you voted: blatant corruption, financial impropriety, pathological lies, lack of morality.

It’s about my sadness at seeing you make a million tiny concessions—and how easy it now is for you to consent to actions, that only three years ago you’d have told me fully disgusted you.

Most of all, it’s about me realizing that when all this is over—we are still going to have to deal with all of this. Our fractures are going to outlive this Presidency.

You see, I really don’t give a damn about Donald Trump.

He doesn’t matter to me. He never has.

He’s a three-time married, C-level reality TV celebrity, with a long and well-documented resume of sexual misconduct, financial disasters, and moral filth.

He’s a professional predator who’s spent his life exploiting people for personal gain. That’s who he was before and who he will be when he leaves office.

Donald Trump, the President will be gone one day, and his disastrous Presidency will be well preserved.

History will have documented his every lie, every misdeed, every abuse of power, every treasonous betrayal — and he will be fully revealed as the monster that many of us are fully aware that he is.

That’s not why I am so disgusted and so filled with sadness these days.

I don’t care about Donald Trump because I don’t know or live alongside or love or respect Donald Trump.

I know and live alongside and love and respect you — or at least I once did, and I’m going to have to try and do that again.

Our relationship and our family and our church and our neighborhood and our nation are going to be trying to clean up the messes long after this President is gone.

When this is all over, the divides and the fractures and the wounds between us are going to remain.

This is why I’m angry and bitter and frustrated; not because of Donald Trump — but because of me — and because of you.”

Borrowed from a friend.

Darlings, regardless of the outcome of today’s election, our lives will go on and we all will be faced with letting go, moving on and stepping into our place in our human family, community, and the world with love, peace, intention and purpose. Showing up any other way would be a disservice to humanity. We’ve had many an opportunity for healing ourselves and healing humanity and, if we don’t get this right, this magical universe will continue giving us opportunities to do just that. Let’s work on ourselves, my darlings. Let’s leave the world a better place for future generations. Let’s honor our ancestors and continue the work they started!

Regardless of the outcome of this election, the work to heal the individual and collective fractured divide will continue…. what role will you be playing?

Be well, stay safe and God bless us all!

May we continue to move forward with love and intention, curiosity, unity and hearts wide open! JTC

October 26, 2020October 29, 2020

Birthday Reflections

“ Scorpio is the one sign that can give you sensitivity, moodiness, dominance, stubbornness, advice, laughter, harshness, love… and a headache all in a matter of minutes.”

Yep, that sounds like me and a lot like my fellow Scorpions out there! I saw this posted on my neighbor’s social media, and it got me thinking!

As I look back on my life, the younger me, the older me, and all the different versions of me in between, I see how all of these traits associated with a Scorpio has both helped and hindered me along my path. Would I change any of it? Absolutely and unequivocally not!

The sensitivity has allowed me to feel emotions; moodiness has gifted me with retreating and going within; dominance has allowed me to take charge when no one else does; stubbornness has allowed me to stand up for what I feel is the right thing to do in my heart of hearts; advice is something I give freely to those who come to me for some wisdom; laughter is my go-to medicine for the soul; harshness has allowed me to be critical- especially of myself and holding myself accountable-and has gotten me out of my own way-and, lastly, love has always guided my way- even in the most uncertain of times. Oh, and headaches serve as a reminder I shouldn’t drink red wine. Not all that bad, if you ask me!

As I reflect on my all too quick 62 rotations around the sun, the privilege that I’ve had is something I do not take for granted. The more I learn about White Privilege and this system of White Supremacy we live in, White Feminism, Caste, and how it’s all woven into every single aspect of our life, culture and society, the angrier I get at not having been taught these things in school. It’s like I’ve been living in an alternate reality in more ways than I can describe. Nevertheless, I can honestly say that I’ve taken learning to another level. The person I was going into this quarantine and the one who is emerging is different and is determining the direction of the next leg of my journey.

I’m very grateful for my parents seeing the communist handwriting on the wall before Castro came into power in Cuba. As a result, they, along with the majority of their siblings, came to the US for a better life, to have more children in some cases, and to give their children more opportunities than they were ever afforded.

My ancestors found their way to Cuba via Portugal and Spain. I only wish I could have met some of them and had the opportunity to take a deep dive into their lives, their traumas, their lived experiences, their wisdom… all things that live in my body and course through my blood.

I’m certain none of them could have imagined this upside down world we are living in. But I do know they, like all of our elders and ancestors, had dreams, aspirations, and things left to do and say when they left this world.

I realize I am the product of their unfulfilled wishes, the dreams they didn’t get to live out, the voice they were unable or not allowed to use, the product of privilege they didn’t have given the times they lived in and the embodiment of a heart overflowing with gratitude each step of the way, each and every day. My attitude of gratitude is what has brought me overwhelming joy, love, and abundance throughout my life…. especially during those dark nights of the soul.

I took a moment this morning to reflect on 62 years of life. I feel very loved, seen and appreciated. For some reason, birthdays get more and more meaningful as the number climbs. The cards I received, the sentiments expressed, and the heartfelt words inscribed have really touched my heart year after year.

This is my 12th birthday without my Mama, and to say that I miss her more each day is an understatement. I realize how lucky I was to have her for almost 50 years of my life. I was an unexpected surprise, and I am grateful that she chose life.

So…..on this day where I find myself reflecting on privileges of all kinds, I am going to share with you yet another handout from the White Conversations class that I took. It’s an activity called Privilege for Sale. It’s an activity that is also a big eye-opener for people who do not understand some of the things that White Privilege affords you, or how you walk through life, if you are white or passing as white.

If you are doing this with a very small group, you may want to each do this activity individually. Obviously, the more people involved, the better able you are to break up into smaller groups and have better conversations and different perspectives.

Before starting the activity, you must put yourself in a mindset of someone having zero privileges whatsoever. Each privilege costs $10 to purchase. As a group, or individual, you will purchase as many privileges as the money you’ve been given allows. It’s up to the facilitator to assign varying budgets- starting with $10- to each group (or individual).

Please note that the phrase “an aspect of your identity “refers to identities including race, gender, ethnicity, citizenship, ability, religion, sexual orientation, and/or gender identity/expression. Identities and privileges represented on this list or by no means exhaustive.

Ready? Here we go…..

Not being subjected to additional scrutiny at school or in your job based on an aspect of your identity.
Adopting your children.
Being able to discuss and have access to multiple family planning options.
Raising children without worrying about state intervention.
Being accepted by your neighbors, classmates, colleagues, and/or new friends..
Going shopping alone most of the time, pretty well assured that you will not be followed or harassed.
Walking around campus, turning on the television, or opening to the front page of the paper and seeing people like you widely represented.
Being sure that you or your children will be given curricular materials that testify to the existence of their experience.
Going into a supermarket and finding the staple foods which fit with your cultural traditions.
Not having to educate your children to be aware of systemic racism for their own daily physical protection.
Using public restrooms without fear of verbal abuse, physical intimidation, or arrest
Strangers don’t assume they can ask you what your genitals look like and how you have sex.
Having the ability to walk through the world and generally blend-in, not being constantly stared or gawked at, whispered about, pointed at, or laughed at because of some aspect of your identity.
Your identity is not considered a mental pathology by the psychological and medical establishments.
Freely being able to discuss your relationship with others.
If you are assaulted or murdered, an aspect of your identity will not be used as a justification for the crime nor as a reason to coddle the perpetrators.
Having your gender as an option on a form.
Not fearing interactions with police officers due to an aspect of your identity.
Not facing the everyday fear of deportation.
Expecting to have any/easy access to public transportation, building, parks, and restaurants.
Being able to plan your day without having to consider health or pain concerns.
Receiving validation from your religious community.
If you should need to move, being pretty sure that you will be able to rent or purchase a home in an area which you can afford and in which you would want to live.
Being able to go to a doctor visit and have him or her understand your sexual orientation and/or gender identity.
Whether using checks, credit cards or cash, you can count on your skin color not working against the appearance of financial reliability.

Adapted from The Safe Zone Project, http://thesafezoneproject.com/

To say this is a powerful activity is an understatement and would be a disservice to the individual(s) who created it. While there are only 25 privileges listed here, the list can be expanded even more so given the reality of what being born in a body that was not born into a dominant Caste or Race goes through day in and day out of their entire existence.

One thing I know for sure that I will continue learning, especially from BIPOC leaders and teachers, until the moment I take my last breath. My entire life thus far has been around learning, growing, expanding, transforming, loving, inspiring, serving and reflecting…why should it be any different at this age? Our lust for knowledge is something that should only die when we die.

So there you have it…. my birthday reflections. I hope you feel inspired to keep learning, unlearning, becoming and unbecoming. My birthday wish is that you give the White Privilege activity a try and feel compelled to share it with others. It will definitely make for good conversation and inspired action!

May we continue to move forward with love and intention, curiosity, unity and hearts wide open! JTC