Tag: Quality of Life

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Closing Out 2022

“Some people will get mad at you for not being who they want you to be. One of the biggest forms of self betrayal is living your life by their rules instead of your own. Your task is simple: be kind, be real, be humble, keep growing and unapologetically live your best life“

Greetings, darlings!

I think we can all agree that this time of year can leave us exhausted, depleted and wishing the holidays were over before even starting. Life tends to move at rapid speed just about now. As a result, we oftentimes end up resenting everything and everyone in our path to what could be an enjoyable and meaningful holiday season.

I’m tapping into to writer, speaker, and author, Yung Pueblo, for some end of year inspiration to share with you. The opening quote pretty much summarizes a basic truth in life and one we can learn much from, don’t you think?

Keeping our stress in check, setting intentions, setting boundaries and staying grounded can, and will, improve our relationships- personally and professionally- improve our health, and the added bonus is that it will create space for us to enjoy and experience a meaningful end to the year.

And let’s not forget that many people are grieving unimaginable losses right about now, and the holiday season is a source of much added pain, suffering and stress. A lot of that suffering is often directly linked to other people’s expectations or opinions of where they should be along their grief journey.

Feeling resentful, feeling like we have to live up to other people’s expectations, and living by their rules is EXHAUSTING! so why do it? Why permit someone else to be the boss of you? As I’ve said other times, what we permit, we promote.

How about we start promoting a new way of doing the end of 2022? A new way of doing 2023? How about a new way of doing life… on our own terms?

I came across a post from yung pueblo that will radically transform the way you experience the end of year, change the way you show up and move through life, preserve your sanity, inspire you to be your best self, find meaning and joy in whatever it is your doing, AND keep your stress levels at an all time low. Here’s what he has to say:

1 Say no to situations that burn way too much of your energy.

2 Let your intuition guide you, not fears or cravings.

3 Don’t listen to the feeling that you need to perform for others.

4 Surround yourself with people who love the authentic you.

There you have it… plain and simple.

And speaking of the holidays, they are always difficult when you’ve lost someone. And especially difficult is the “first” of any holiday without that person. As adults, we sometimes forget that children and teens grieve too, and it may look very different than the way we are grieving. Overall, grief has it’s own way with each and every individual. It has its own timeline, it’s varied, unpredictable and life-altering.

If you and your family are looking at the “first” holiday without a loved one, I encourage you to check out an older post of mine, Are You Grieving?

In that particular blog, you will find tips for self-care, addressing your activity level, getting support from others, relating to other family members, and ways of continuing the bond with your loved one. As a matter of fact, I may even repost it next.

So…as we’re closing out the year, let’s hit the pause button and re-examine the way we are going about our daily life. What can we tweak? What needs radical changing? What is causing you stress? Do you feel rested or exhausted? And most importantly, are you willing to change the things that aren’t working for you?

What else will you be focusing on for the remainder of 2022?

May you be kind and loving to yourself…always and in all ways! JTC

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She Ready…

“Let choice whisper in your ear and love murmur in your heart. Be ready. Here comes life.” Maya Angelou

She ready…not to be confused with the Netflix comedy by the same name. When I say “She,” I mean Me.

Ready for what you may ask? Well… I mean ready for life. The quality of life that comes when you finally make the decision to have your knee replaced after four, long, agonizing years of pain, being able to do less and less, being limited to the activities you do, how much time you spend on your feet, how far you walk, and being kept from truly savoring and enjoying the juicy life you are used to living.

You see, having a high tolerance for pain can be a double edge sword. I’ve been so used to body pain since I’m 15 years old that, with each orthopedic surgery, I’ve become accustomed to tolerating excruciating pain- unbeknownst to others because I’m not the type to bitch and moan. This is not to say that you may not be aware I’m in pain, but most people in my world have no idea the level of pain I’ve tolerated since I needed my first orthopedic surgery at 15….I am now a young 62 and resilient AF!

The decision to undergo a 6th orthopedic surgery did not come easily. However, when I look back at 2020 and everything that brought me to the decision to have surgery, I can connect the dots and see how, unbeknownst to me at the time, I was prepping my nervous system for the assault, beating and trauma my body will take. As I stated earlier though…She Ready!

Since the beginning of the pandemic/lock down, I’ve spent a lot of time studying, learning and expanding my knowledge on trauma and resilience, It has included all kinds of trauma and the effects of it on the body and on the nervous system. It all started with a trauma informed yoga training I did which deepened my understanding on the numerous types of trauma that imprint themselves in the body, how the body keeps score and our responses to trauma. I’m not going to get into all of that because I’ve written blogs in the past of how our issues are in the tissues, and have even included some resources, etc. etc. Remember, sharing is caring!

Needless to say, my thirst to understand all kinds of trauma and causes of trauma; especially raced-based trauma, generational trauma, inherited trauma, cumulative trauma, developmental trauma, shock trauma, the vagus system, and responses to trauma was heightened. I’ve taken a deep dive into all kinds of books, stories, podcasts, webinars and summits solely centered around the personal experiences of black bodies of culture. With the exception of a handful of books written by white authors, all the books I’ve been reading since last year have been written by black and brown people of color. That was, and continues to be, an intentional decision on my part.

So what does all this have to do with making the decision to have surgery yet again? Well, my studies have also had me very focused on the effects of trauma on one’s nervous system- and regulating my own nervous system- especially in light of the collective trauma we have been experiencing as a global family. In addition to deeply resting, which is a practice in and of itself (more on that in my next blog), I have utilized all my tools and practices daily, without fail, and that has kept me deeply rooted, grounded, resourced, relaxed, rested, non-reactive and connected to Source…the whisper in my ear, the love in my heart and the spiritual GPS at the core of my being.

There’s no place for fear here: Faith/Love over Fear…always and in all ways!

Learning to listen to your body is a practice. I’ve learned to drop into my body, its sensations and what this intelligence is telling me. This inner-knowingness, this faith, conviction and connection to the divine never steers me wrong. On the contrary, when I haven’t listened to that whisper, things go awry. Like Lady O says, “First comes the whisper, then the nudge, then the rock, then the brick and then the brick wall.”

Darlings, we cannot ignore our connection, guidance and direction to that which is greater than us. I totally realize that what works for me may not work for you. But that’s where boundaries and discernment come into play and fear mongers are kept at bay.That’s where focus comes into play and allow it to guide your way. What we choose to focus on greatly influences and determines the quality of our lives, the quality of our decision-making and, ultimately, our peace of mind. Personally, I do not make decisions from a place of fear. Been there, done that and nothing good has ever come of it!

It was that connection to Source that awakened me in the wee hours one morning and clearly directed me to cancel a much-needed R&R trip to Florida (aka my beloved Hollywood Riviera) and move up my surgery. I was truly looking forward to lounging and soaking up sun, swimming everyday, spending time with my cousins and close friends, getting a little pet therapy and even attending a wedding. However, the message I received was loud and clear! It also echoed what I already knew and what some of my closest peeps had already articulated to me.

You see, I’m the first one to always tell everyone that we must take care of our Self FIRST. That we are no good to anyone else if we don’t put ourselves first. That quality of life needs to inform our decisions. That we must always listen to our bodies. Well…..I guess you can say that I was fed a hefty dose of my own medicine…wink, wink.

As of this writing, I am 8 days away from having my knee replaced- and fortunately it’s not on the same side that has already endured five surgeries and all the trauma and long-term effects they’ve had on me. I am actually looking forward to being on the other side of this, You see, when you’re bone-on-bone, no amount of PT, anti-inflamatory, injections, exercise, massage, CBD, etc., will alleviate the pain. The pain will continue to worsen-as it has. The beauty with surgery is that surgical pain has a beginning and an END date!

Pain robs a person of so many things including their motivation and inspiration. I’d like to say that my studies have kept me from blogging, that I want to be intentional with what I blog about, that I’ve been enjoying spending time on the Jersey Shore, or that I’ve been very engaged celebrating life. While there is some semblance of truth to all of that, I believe that the primary reason I have not blogged in months is attributed to finding out in January that I needed surgery- as well as the escalating pain which, to some degree, also zapped me of my own motivation and inspiration. I was stuck in that pain vortex which zaps your spirit and your energy.

But now…She Ready…more than ready!

My choice is to let love guide the way….always and in all ways!

She Ready…Ready to reclaim my life, my power, my purpose and my joy!!!

Lead from the heart…Right from the start! JTC

PS. Here’s an affirmation from yesterday’s Wayne Dyer calendar: “I’m here on purpose, I can accomplish anything I desire, and I do it by being in harmony with the all pervading creative force in the universe “

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The Lost Art of Lounging

“Busyness is the greatest distraction from living, as we coast through our lives day after day, showing up for our obligations but being absent from ourselves, mistaking the doing for the being.” -Maria Popova

Greetings, my darlings! I hope this blog finds you in good spirits and enjoying the last few days of August.

Many of us may have just sent kids off to college, are preparing little ones to start school for the first time or maybe just getting kids organized and ready to start a new school year. For many educators, today, tomorrow or next Tuesday signals the dreaded “back to work” mentality. For those who work year round, maybe savoring the last few days of summer is your ardent mission.

Generally speaking, this is a time of year that people are cramming a lot in to their already packed days. Lounging may not necessarily be at the top of your “to do” list, but I’m here to tell you that it needs to be! Taking care of yourself is NOT selfish. It’s self-preservation!

The way I see it, is that so many people are addicted to “the art of busyness” that they have forgotten the beautiful, nurturing, nourishing, refreshing, revitalizing, inspiring and necessary “art of lounging.”

We all have responsibilities. Unfortunately though, it seems like people today tend to create much of the unnecessary busyness for themselves. Between feeling the need to be connected and reachable anytime of day or night, the incessant lure of social media feeds, and emails and news alerts repeatedly pinging at all hours, the self-imposed need to respond immediately, more and more people are spending more and more time of their day on their devices and in a perpetual state of distraction.

As a result, HUGE chunks of the average person’s day is consumed with mindless activities and stressors. All this constituting “busyness” is reaching epic and overwhelming proportions and is affecting our quality of life- how we enjoy life, how we engage in life and how we participate in social and familial settings.

All these stressors have the tendency to leave us fatigued and our nervous system in “flight or light” overdrive. More than ever we need to pause, stop, restore, replenish and return our nervous system back to “rest and digest” mode.

If you’ve been following my blog, you probably know that I am a self-imposed love and gratitude junkie and a HUGE proponent of self care. So it’s no secret that I consider myself to be The Queen of The Art Lounging. Yep, you heard me! And those who know me can attest to it.

Now don’t get me wrong, I can busy myself as much as the next person if I allow it. And I use the word “allow” because it is a choice. I also choose to guard my energy and make my rest and relaxation a top priority. And I do so by establishing little rituals I honor that refuel me, take my nervous system out of “red alert” mode, and allow me to enjoy my own company.

Whenever I’ve had a long day or a couple of back-to-back long days), one of my favorite things to do is to be in bed SUPER early. How early? Well…hold on now….ready??? Sometimes it can be as early as 6:30 pm. (I think I may have heard a gasp or a jaw or two drop).

I make sure I’ve lit some scented candles, have soothing music playing, take a hot shower or scented oil bath, slather on the lotions and the potions and the essential oils, do about 3-4 restorative poses (sometimes just legs up the wall will do), and then slip into my comfy bed. I surround myself with my journals, magazines or a good book and just allow myself to lounge…. sans phone!

Here’s the funny thing- I recall being in my 30’s and 40’s and my mother telling me how early she was in bed, or not to worry if I called her and she didn’t answer because it meant she was already sleeping, and I would shake my head and roll my eyes. I just didn’t get it. Needless to say, now I do…wink, wink.

When fully rested, we show up for ourselves. In turn, we can show up more consciously and be present for the people in our lives. We feel more grounded and less scattered. We enjoy our life more. We are more aware of the joy and love that surrounds us. We laugh more. We take in the beauty and the nature that is around us. We enjoy our pets. We are better able to connect with others. We engage with others more easily and happily.  We feel more inspired, creative and productive. We find ourselves allocating more time to doing the things we want to do or have been putting off doing. We have the ability to discern between doing real work and busy work. We become more skillful and learn to act instead of react. We become more grateful and graceful. In a nut shell, we become fully engaged participants in the ups and downs of life while still managing to enjoy and appreciate it all!

Darlings, I encourage each and every one of you reading this to take a moment to ask yourself the following question:

What can you do to be less busy and enjoy your life more?

Here’s to you and finding what the art of lounging looks like in your own world!

Inhale Love & Light… Exhale Grace & Gratitude, JTC

PS- Stay tuned to the next blog as I will be featuring a new Guest Blogger!

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Strengthen Your Attention Muscle

“In the rush of modern-day life, it’s easy to push aside small concerns and fail to notice you’re no longer your old, happy self.”

Hello my darlings!

I hope this blog finds you happy and in good spirits!

If you’re not in good spirits, perhaps you and/or your life is tipping out of balance. Perhaps you’ve failed to notice the gradual changes that undeniably occur when we are disconnected from our mind, body and spirit. When this occurs, it’s safe to say that our minds ruminate and our lives feel like we are on a perpetual hamster wheel… spinning, spinning, spinning!

A common practice in yoga class is to be still and connect to our breath. After a few lengthy and deep inhalations and exhalations, we are encouraged to check in with our mind, our body, and our spirit. In doing so, we are able to tap into our thoughts, the sensations in our bodies and the emotions that rise up to the surface.

Our attention is a muscle that, once exercised, can reap wonderful rewards. The more we practice being still and checking in with our feelings, our thoughts, and our surroundings, the more we are able to be present in our bodies as well as in our relationships. And…. the more we are able to connect with Source- “the infinite all” and our higher self.

Today’s society, the happenings in our world and government, and the constant overflow of information that is in our in boxes and on our devices, contribute to the constant simulation of our senses. As a result, we feel a mental overload of huge proportions. Without tools that allow us to sort through the noise, mental clutter and stimulus, we are doomed to feel like our life is spinning out of control. We seem to be doing, doing, doing instead of being, being, being!

Our nervous system is so flooded with cortisol, that we operate from “fight or flight” mode” as opposed to “rest and digest” mode.

If we have any hopes of living a more gracious, connected, joyous, balanced, and peaceful life, we must remove ourselves from this state of overwhelming busyness. We MUST allow ourselves the time and the space to disconnect.

In doing so, we are affording ourselves the opportunity to be, see, hear and feel.

A simple thing we can do at the end of a difficult, challenging, or trying day, is to notice how our body feels. This is one way we can strengthen our attention muscle. Over time, and with practice, it becomes second nature…. trust me!

So where do we start?

-We start by setting aside uninterrupted time to check in. This means powering off our devices or placing them on airplane mode.

-Find a place to sit quietly and comfortably.

– After a few deep cleansing breaths, notice where your body feels constricted.

– Where is it that you hold on to stress or discomfort in your body?

-What do you feel?

-Allow yourself to feel and, If you are compelled to write, journal what ever arose during this time you took to scan your body.

-The more you do this throughout your day, the more you are in your body and the more equipped you become at addressing these areas in your body.

We can look at this practice as a gift we give ourselves. Being able to be in our bodies- distraction free- is a gift. It’s a necessity. It’s life altering. It allows us to be aware of thoughts that may not serve us and encourage us to reprogram our brain with thoughts that enhance our wellbeing.

It has been proven that the quality of our life is connected with our ability to tune in and pay attention. Multitasking, 24/7 connection, fatigued adrenals, and exhaustion do not make for a badge of honor. On the contrary, radical self-care allows us to live a more deeply satisfying life.

So what are some activities that allow us to be in our bodies and add to our well-being? Activities that allow us to care for our inner child?

The following suggestions come directly from someone I follow on IG because I love how she is using her social media platform to help us to heal and consciously create a new version of ourselves (check out the.holistic.psychologist on the gram).

  • Go for a walk or a hike
  • Do yoga
  • Meditate
  • Make a cup of tea
  • Listen to an educational podcast
  • Go to “Youtube University”
  • See a therapist/energy worker/healer
  • Connect with someone you love
  • Spend 15 minutes in total silence
  • Do a tough work out
  • Plan a “staycation”

And what are some of my favorite things to do when I am feeling exhausted or spread too thin, or have had a long day? In addition to the suggestions above, I enjoy soaking in an Epson salt, essential oils infused tub. Sometimes I even throw in fresh flowers. I make sure to light a candle and drink plenty of water when I am soaking (wine on some occasions). Doing a few restorative yoga poses before bed is a must for me, especially after a soak in the tub. I also like to spend a few hours in silence. At times, I purposely shut off the phone. Taking a walk in nature is something I enjoy as well. Getting to bed earlier than usual is a delightful and indulgent treat. And, as you can surmise, journaling is at the top of my list…wink, wink! Writing in my gratitude journal is something I try and do in the evenings as soon as I get in bed.

What are your coping mechanisms when dealing with difficult situations or emotions? What activities allow you to feel renewed or recharged? What practices do you have that allow you to connect to Source?

My darlings, tough times call for tough measures. In order to be our best selves and show up fully engaged and passionately committed to ourselves and for the greater good of all beings, we need to make our self-care a priority. In doing so, we will strengthen our attention muscle in a way that will allow us to live a life of balance, purpose and meaning!

The following is a piece that one of my yoga teachers read to us while we were in savasana. It comes from Danna Fauld’s book, What’s True Here, New Poems and Other Writings. May you be renewed by it as much as I was upon hearing the words!

Renewed by Source

Just as the the steady rain quenches the earths thirst, so too am I renewed by source energy through stillness and through prayer. Without a daily connection to silence, I can’t hear the guidance or feel the love that always moves inside me. The balance of being and doing seems and entirely beyond reach until I grow quiet and allow a wisdom far greater than my own to lead me home.

Inhale Love & Light… Exhale Grace and Gratitude, JTC

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Wholehearted Living

“No one can create negativity or stress within you. Only you can do that by virtue of how you process your world” -Wayne Dyer

Yes, I am a Wayne Dyer junkie! As a matter of fact, in the third blog I wrote last year, The Power of We…Who’s Your Tribe, I mentioned that Wayne Dyer sits on my spiritual board of directors. If you have not read it, I invite you to do so. Of the 120+ blogs I’ve written, that one is still one of my favorites. If you do not have a spiritual board of directors, I highly encourage you to form one…wink, wink!

Having like-minded supportive people whom we can connect to, without being judged, is vital to our spiritual and emotional growth. Whether dead or alive, the wisdom and life experiences we obtain from our support network is both therapeutic and validating. Our community of like-minded individuals help us see and process our world. Over time, our perceptions and thoughts change, we move from a scarcity mentality to one of being and having enough, we learn to lead with an open heart, we embody the power of vulnerability and authenticity, we shift from fear to love, we learn to flex our courage, we build our resilience muscle, we value our connections and learn the secrets for wholehearted living.

All of this takes time, energy and a life-long commitment to change, growth, expansion and transformation. We must have that burning desire to learn and push beyond our boundaries. More importantly though, we must learn the art of letting go.

The art of letting go requires us to live and lead from the heart. It requires us to leave our egos at the door and silence the nasty and obnoxious roommate we have living in our heads. It is recognizing everything that is holding us back and learning the skills to move forward. It is the utilization of every tool in our spiritual toolbox. It is when we live and work from that space in our hearts that we are better able to engage with ourselves, our friends and family, our communities and the world at large. That is what the art of letting go and wholehearted living look like.

In Brené Brown’s Book, book, The Gifts of Imperfection,  she designed “guideposts” for living wholeheartedly. These guideposts also make a cameo appearance in her book, Daring Greatly, and I will share them with you a little later. As I read each guidepost, I realized that each and every single one personifies what life here in “Earth School” is all about.

You see, Earth School always brings us people, circumstances and situations to learn from. A lot of the learning comes from the exchange of information we have when we take part in meaningful and enriching conversations with others. These conversations allow us to share our insights, questions, speak our truth, share our wisdom and embrace new ways of looking at things. It goes beyond the nagging and complaining and having the same meaningless, dead-end, and shallow conversations that leave us feeling empty, without purpose, hopeless, negative and maybe even worse off than when we started.

Whether we like it or not, no one is exempt from Earth School’s curriculum or its classes. The lessons may be tailor-made to suit our own individualized curriculums, but the over-arching themes are what lead us to wholehearted living. How we process our world throughout the process of living wholeheartedly is what spiritual awakening is about. Wholehearted living, in my mind’s eye, is about living a quality life AND thriving while doing so!

I will leave you with the ten guideposts that Ms. Brown defined and encourage you to spend some time thinking long and hard about each one. Perhaps share them with your tribe, discuss them and maybe even journal about what may be keeping you stuck or may need tweaking. It is a good way for us to access where we are with our individualized curriculum. 

These guideposts are just that….a guide. Their purpose is not to create negativity or stress. We do enough of that for ourselves! Instead, look at the guideposts as tool to help us dig, delve, excavate and reveal the parts of our lives we may want/need to work on. Oh, and we must remember to acknowledge and celebrate the ones we have under our belts!

  1. Cultivating Authenticity: Letting Go of What People Think
  2. Cultivating Self-Compassion: Letting Go of Perfectionism
  3. Cultivating a Resilient Spirit: Letting Go of Numbing and Powerlessness
  4. Cultivating Gratitude and Joy: Letting Go of Scarcity and Fear
  5.  Cultivating Intuition and Trusting Faith: Letting Go of the Need for Certainty
  6. Cultivating Creativity: Letting Go of Comparison
  7. Cultivating Play and Rest: Letting Go of Exhaustion and a Status Symbol and Productivity as Self-Worth
  8. Cultivating Calm and Stillness: Letting Go of Anxiety as a Lifestyle
  9. Cultivating Meaningful Work: Letting Go of Self-Doubt and “Supposed To”
  10. Cultivating Laughter, Song and Dance: Letting Go of Being Cool and “Always in Control”

Darlings, consider the guideposts your “cheat notes”….do with them what you please, or do nothing at all. As Wayne Dyer would say, the choice is yours by virtue of how you process your life….Change your thoughts, change your life!

Inhale Love & Light…Exhale Grace & Gratitude, JTC

 

 

 

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A-Z Good Living

“For today: Slow down and breathe. Feel your heart beating. Make it simpler. Even simpler than that. Inhabit the space  you are in. If it feels too constrictive let go of things. Clear it out. Give away and offer up the things that clutter your space. You are too precious and life is too short. “ -Christy Naida Linson

Tis the season for all things hurried, fast-paced, stressful, noisy, crowded and short-tempered. All we need to do is to look, sense, feel and hear it all around us. It’s like this “thing” closing in on us that oftentimes makes us jittery, anxious, unable to catch our breath, scattered and in need of “grounding.”

If you missed my last blog, Secrets of Inner Peace, you may want to check it out. There are 31 thoughts/affirmations/ actions that, with time and practice,  will become your modus operandi. Before you know it, you WILL feel grounded, able to breathe, feel your heart beating and be present wherever you are. You will find yourself getting out of your own way, letting go of the things that clutter your space and do not serve you and finally find yourself living YOUR precious life on YOUR terms.

Back in 2007, I received a lovely holiday card from a family I hold near and dear to my heart-The Belfattos. Deb Belfatto fought hard and was able to fulfill a dream and a promise to start the Susan G. Komen Northern Affiliate here in NJ. I love incorporating that card each year when I decorate. I’ve always held on to it because of the powerful, practical and inspiring messages it contains. They too  are thoughts/affirmations/actions we can all take to be more conscious, live more peacefully and appreciate our shared humanity. And since I cherish all things that inspire, love, serve, I will share with you these A-Z Good Living practices for doing so:

  • Accept Differences
  • Be kind
  • Count your blessings
  • Dream
  • Express thanks
  • Forgive
  • Give freely
  • Harm no one
  • Imagine more
  • Jettison anger
  • Keep confidences
  • Love truly
  • Master something
  • Nurture hope
  • Open your mind
  • Pack lightly
  • Quell rumors
  • Reciprocate
  • Seek wisdom
  • Touch hearts
  • Understand
  • Value truth
  • Win graciously
  • Xemplify kindness
  • Yearn for peace
  • Zealously support a worthy cause

There you have it, darlings. Short and sweet. So, when we’re out and about this holiday season and our patience is being tried… we can, as the lovely Christy Naida says, slow down our breathing and feel our heart beat. We can consciously choose to tap into one of these practices, contemplate them, and put them into action. Trust me, you will feel the stress just melt off your shoulders, your shallow breathing will become deeper, your scowl will turn into a smile, your constricted heart will open and you will consciously choose to inhabit the space you are in. This is how we take our yoga practice off the mat and into the world. We can all mindfully allow ourselves (and those around us) to truly see, feel and hear each other and appreciate the magic that is all around us… with reverence and gratitude for the precious life we have been given.

Carry on darlings…lead from the heart…right from the start, and make this day, and every day, a good one!

Inhale Love & Light…Exhale Grace & Gratitude, JTC

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Defy Age…Quality of Life

“There is a fountain of youth; it is your mind, your talents, the creativity you bring to your life and the lives of people you love. When you learn to tap into this source, you will truly have defied age.” -Sophia Loren

If you happen to be doing Deepak Chopra’s current 21 Day Meditation Experience, Energize Your Life, you too came across this quote on the day the meditation dealt with anti-aging being a skill you can master. That meditation inspired this blog, as I thought it would be an appropriate follow up to my previous blog, Aging or Ageless…What are You?

I’m a big advocate for quality of life. This from someone who used to be a workaholic.  When we have experienced so many losses in life, some of them tragic and others long-lived, we tend to have an awakening of sorts and start to connect the dots. We come to realize that it’s not solely about the job, career, the big house, over consumption and consumerism, living life in the fast lane and money, money, money. What good are all of these things if we don’t have the quality of life and the energy to live life?

Who has the energy you may ask? Well, according to Deepak, it’s the people who are mastering the aging process that radiate life and energy. And how we do that? By the choices we make. He further went on to share that studies have shown that the most effective anti-aging results come from a holistic approach that minimizes toxic and unbalancing influences on our bodies, minds and emotions.

If we take a long, hard look at the people around us, those in our lives, and perhaps even complete strangers, we can pretty much tell by looking at them if they radiate life and energy. Further examine their eating habits, social habits, hobbies, outlook on life, social/familial interactions, listen to their tone and conversations, and we have a good indication if they are on the fast track to aging and whether or not they have any semblance of quality of life. Obviously, it’s just as important to take a good look at ourselves to see if there are any areas we can improve on.

Here are some questions that came to mind as I was writing:

  • What are your energy levels like?
  • Do you look at the glass half full, or half-empty?
  • Do you feel you are taking life for granted?
  • What are your talents?
  • How do you express your creativity?
  • How do you exercise your mind?
  • Do you live to work, or work to live?
  • What type of physical exercise do you get?
  • Do you eat genetically modified foods, processed foods, foods out of a box or whole, organic, clean and green foods that are not genetically modified?
  • How would you describe your relationships in general?
  • What is the quality of your friendships?
  • Do you partake in any self-destructive/self-sabotaging behaviors?
  • Do you drink, smoke or do drugs?
  • How do you minimize the stress in your life?
  • Can you identify the stressors in your life?
  • What mindfulness resources or tools do you employ to maintain the calm in the chaos?
  • Do you drink plenty of water and get at least 8 hours of sleep?
  • Can you identify the areas of your life which you feel aren’t being lived to the fullest?

Why so many questions? Well, because these types of questions help us identify areas that need further examining, cultivating and nurturing. It’s that simple! No hidden agendas or complicated formulas. And what is even simpler? The fact that people who age well have the following seven things in common:

  1. Meditation
  2. Wide social support system, friends, family and community groups
  3. Close emotional and familial ties
  4. Take multi-vitamins and mineral supplements daily
  5. Good sleep alternating with daily activity
  6. Life-long curiosity
  7. Willingness to undertake new challenges

As with all things, habits, attitudes, activities and practices in life, it primarily comes down to balance. And speaking of balance, I will leave you with something one of my nieces (and hopefully a future guest blogger) posted on Instagram a while back. It spoke to me so much that I had her print it on card stock, and I enclosed them in my birthday thank you cards. As you should know by now, I love anything motivational and inspirational!

Balance is key. In everything you do. Dance all night long and practice yoga the next day. Drink wine but don’t forget your green juice. Eat chocolate when your heart wants it and kale salad when your body needs it. Wear high heels on Saturday night and walk barefoot on Sunday morning. Live high and low. Move and stay still. Embrace all sides of who you are. Be brave, bold, spontaneous and loud and let that complement your abilities to find silence, patience, modesty and peace. Aim for balance. Make your own rules and follow your own path and don’t let anybody tell you how to live according to theirs.

Remember, my darlings: quality of life, quality of life, quality of life… and in the process, you will find yourself defying age!

Inhale Love & Light…Exhale Grace & Gratitude, JTC