Tag: Wisdom

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Doula-ing 101

“The best thing we can do for the people we love is to get comfortable with our own feelings.” Rachael Wolff

Greetings, darlings!

So here we are, at the start of our Mortali-tea Conversations with, Yours Truly. If you missed my previous blog, Hello Again, please check it out so you can be brought up to speed on what I’ve been up to in my 2+ year hiatus / sabbatical from blogging and know how to prep for this read.

In that blog, I mentioned how most of us, whether we realize it or not, have been “doula-ing” in one way or another. The role of an end of life doula is not as well known as a birth doula. According to Siri, an end of life doula is “a non-medical companion who provides holistic, personalized support to individuals and their families as they navigate the end-of-life journey. They offer emotional, spiritual, education, advocacy, and respite to both the dying person and their loved ones. Unlike medical professionals, they focus on the person’s wishes and feelings, helping to empower them and their families to make informed choices to ensure a dignified, meaningful death experience.”

Upon reading that, you may wonder: who, what, when, where and why? And I am here to rewind all of that, break it all down and fill in the missing pieces. You see, an end of life doula is so much more and so nuanced than what good old Google provides.

You see, an end of life doula does not only work with the dying and their family. They may even work with people who aren’t even sick or given a diagnosis but have a fear around death, so they work with a doula to address those concerns via a number of ways. More on that later though as so much falls under the umbrella of being an end of life doula. While the role of a death doula is one that is developing in modern society, it actually comes from ancient times.

Remember when I told you to make yourself a cup of tea, or grab something to drink, something to write with, paint, draw or voice record? Well, now may be the time to do so if you haven’t already done so.

Here’s your first assignment: After reading the definition of a death doula, and given any experiences you’ve had around death, dying, a hospice worker or doula, how would you define the role of a death doula? Keep in mind that, as with all things workplace related, a title is one thing and the “role” a person plays is another. One may wear different hats. Keep that in mind as you give yourself about 10 minutes or so to answer the question.

How would you define the role of a death doula was a very powerful exercise we were asked to do the first day of our Going with Grace training. I was part of a cohort of 44 beautiful humans, and we could not repeat the same answer. We went round and round until we felt we had exhausted what we felt was the role of a doula. So here’s what we came up with:

Space holder; presence; calm; lean in; holder; sacred; curiosity; ancestors; awareness; threshold; educator; grace; protecting space; witness; connection; magician; steward; kindness; care work; companion; joining; sacred seeker; open-hearted; patience; support; compassion; advocate; trust; alchemist; co-creator; boundaries; genuine; facilitator; channel; essential; community; normalcy; exploration; reverent; acceptance; empowerment; divine; acknowledgement; confidant; awe; resource; synthesizer; accompaniment; bridge; guide; navigator; foundation; pillar of community; portal; ritualist; vessel; active listener; oneness; mourner; peacemaker and waymaker.

What did you come up with? As you can probably tell, the role, tasks and expectations of what it means to be an end of life doula are wide, varied and vastly unique. And as you have probably concluded by now, our gifts, talents, lived experiences, likes, dislikes, strengths and weaknesses also come into play.

This would be a good time for you to reflect and perhaps write about experiences or people whom you have supported through the dying process or served as a caregiver through a grave illness. How did it make you feel? If you are currently a caregiver of a friend or family member, how are you caring for yourself?

How comfortable are you around the topic of death, dying and your personal relationship with death?

How comfortable are you facilitating different conversations and navigating the emotions that accompany them? Are you able to list some examples?

Would you be able to carry out someone’s final wishes even if they are contrary to your own?

I think these questions and reflections are a good way to start dabbling in a conversation with your Self, and others, and lay the foundation for future topics and inquiry around all things related to our own mortality.

Thank you for taking the time to read and maybe even explore some of the above questions. I invite you to continue revisiting them over the next few weeks. Be gentle with yourself, and see what arises!

Much gratitude for your time and presence. Please feel free to leave comments and share of you feel called to do so.

BE the light, spread the love and be a blessing!

Sending New Moon Blessings your way! JT Carricarte

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Hello Again!

“Whoever you are

and whatever helps

I hope today is a day you are finding

the softest way through.” Andrea Gibson

Darlings…it’s me, and I’m back!

I am not sure where to start other than I guess a recap of the last two years since my last blog post, Moving on…Rest and Nourishment, back in March 2023. What a ride it has been! One filled with sacred practices, stillness, quietude, hibernation, rest, nourishment, letting go of burdens not mine to carry, and much discernment with regards to certain people, circumstances or situations I’ve had to let go of because they were no longer serving me or aligned with my values around non-violence, accountability, justice, integrity, dignity, compassion, equal rights, equity, and overall respect for humanity and the very real lived experiences of others. Darlings, sometimes we just have to give ourselves the grace of letting go and release anything or anyone that disrupts our peace and well-being. And we can do so in love! Personally, doing so has created a lot of spaciousness, expansiveness and clarity around how I want to live out my remaining days on this planet.

These past couple of years have also brought some very interesting people, teachers, facilitators and opportunities into my life. Having said all that, I have definitely kept my people close! There’s nothing like being in community with like-minded individuals who are also committed to “doing the work,” as well as putting good medicine out there into the world by sharing one’s gifts and talents in an effort to help raise collective consciousness, helping to heal humanity and the evolution of planet earth. Celebrating friend’s successes, supporting one another and watching dreams come to fruition is also an important part of the process. It’s always important to celebrate milestones along the way!

If you read the March 2023 blog, you’ll know I was focusing on my word that year, which was “nourish…” all things mind, body and spirit. It was much needed too because I had a big move at the time and decided to live at the beach. It was something that was NOT on my radar. I mean I was spending lots of time in my little crash pad but never entertained the thought of doing it full time. It was one of THE BEST decisions I’ve ever made, and also allowed me to cut my expenses greatly by not maintaining another apartment which I was rarely at.

In addition to my usual travels to Florida and Texas, I also got to go to Ghost Ranch, in New Mexico, in September 2023 for a writer’s and rest retreat offered by one of my beloved teachers, Tracee Stanley. She is the best selling author of two books: Radiant Rest and The Luminous Self and the founder of the on-line community, Empowered Life Circle which I have been a member since its inception. Finally getting to meet her in person and being in community with her was a dream come true! It is also where I was honored to have Tracee shave my head our last night together (talk about letting go…more on that another time.)

It was an intimate 11 person retreat that allowed for beautiful friendships to form as we supported each other’s writings, dreams, creativity, shared rest practices and beautiful meditations and conversations. We truly bonded and keep in touch. We set up a weekly call to serve as a writing container, and whomever shows up… shows up.

As a result, I ultimately submitted a book proposal. I only sent it to one agent, but she had to pass because apparently there were a lot of proposals out there dealing with all things mind, body, spirit and mental health and well-being. I did receive some good feedback though. However, the last thing I want is a job that requires a lot of social media presence, followers, emails, website, etc. On the contrary, I look for ways to regularly limit my time and disconnect from social media for a month here and there throughout the year. If I want to publish a book, it will have to be self-published. It is what it is!

Another, long awaited and dreamed about opportunity is when I found Alua Arthur who is an End of Life Death Doula, the founder of Going with Grace and best selling author of Briefly Perfectly Human. I really don’t know how I came across her TED Talk in 2023, but I instantly fell down the “all things Alua” rabbit hole! Training to become an end of life doula had been a dream of mine for a long time and a role I have played throughout my life (most of us have without even realizing it). If you’ve read some of my older blogs, you will know that I’ve had an intimate, up close and personal relationship with death since I was a little girl. And having had a near death experience back in 2012 further cemented that relationship and desire. That dream came true as I traveled last year to Arizona for the in-person training last year.

I think that seed may have been planted back in 2008. There was this Hospice worker named Nick whom I met when my mama was at the end of her life, and he impacted me greatly, as did the publication he gave me- Crossing the Creek– which assists family and the person coming to the end of their life to understand the dying process and what the body goes through mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually in preparation for dying. If you google it, you will see the author made it a free, downloadable PDF. I cannot even begin to tell you how many people I have shared Crossing the Creek with over the past 17 years, the meaningful conversations I’ve had and the much needed conversations that have been facilitated as a result of sharing it (mini doula at work). Sharing is caring!

The last few years have found me deepening my meditation practice by way of daily Yoga Nidra practices. Who knew that Yoga Nidra practices could be so revealing, restoring, nourishing, enlightening, restful, relaxing and how they, too, prepare you for death. Being in that liminal space, that portal, that void, gives you a sense of clarity as well as a multitude of opportunities for inner investigation, awakening, growth and transformation. One is more present to life (and death), and allows us to move with intentionality and purpose. The practices allow us to remember who we are, why we are here and our inextricable connection to the natural world. I have learned, and remembered, so much being part of the Empowered Life Circle online community! And I’ve met so many beautiful souls. Needless to say, these practices have also allowed me to stay rooted, grounded and resourced especially during these challenging and heartbreaking times we are living.

Full transparency here: I do not know where on Instagram I found the following passage, but I just came across it as I was rereading some things from the beginning of 2025 that I had written. It’s unlike me not to cite who or where I saw it….guess I never planned on sharing it until now. It pretty much speaks to how I rolled into 2025, and I’m certain it will resonate for many of you- especially if you are a highly sensitive person:

“My heart no longer has the capacity to reside in love where only war exists. I will sacrifice my pleasure to keep my peace. The standard of safety within my mind, body, heart and spirit are non-negotiable. I vow to never jeopardize the degrees of healing I’ve accessed for anything or anyone. Everything is worth losing for me to not lose myself. I am not desperate for company that’s usually draped in the misery, hurt and insanity that took root long before me. I only welcome the presence of ease, health, rest, assurance, respect, appreciation, reciprocity, oneness, gentleness, calmness, laughter, security, freedom and protection. Anything else would be an impure distraction and inflamation to my being. I close all doors that are open that don’t serve the highest good and greatness for all. May I only align with the likeness of all that represents maturity, trust, open communication, honesty, resolution, patience, understanding, empathy, discipline and direction. As I am complete. We are complete.” And so it is, darlings!

So… I entered 2025 with a great deal of clarity, and my word for the year has been “tend.” Yes, I am tending to all things mind, body and spirit and the Tend Collective (tendcollective.co), as well as the Empowered Life Circle, regularly offer up practices to help us do so. Think about this for a moment: If we do not tend to ourself FIRST, how can we show up for others, tend to others, and do the things that life calls us to do?

This recap pretty much brings me to the here and now. Where do I go from here? Allow me a few more moments to tell you…wink, wink!

After the Going with Grace end of life training, which was very intense, hands on, thorough, entailed a lot of research, assignments, as well as loads of deeply profound inner inquiry, holding and bearing witness to other people’s grief, and the fact that we live in such a death phobic culture here in the US, I’ve decided to take on the role of Mortality Conversationalist and do what Maya Angelou always said: “When you learn, teach.” Also, Alua Arthur and the GwG team awakened us to the need for education and awareness around the various roles a death doula plays and the much needed conversations families, medical professionals, health care systems, and individuals should be having around one’s own mortality.

Can you believe there are doctors and medical professionals who do not even know the difference between palliative care and hospice? And that they are 2 extremely and tragically underutilized services? And that it some cases, these services, that can be offered up to a year or longer before a person dies, are often not recommended until a mere few weeks or month before a person dies? That’s for another conversation!

Moving forward, my goal is to offer up Mortali-tea with your very own Mortality Conversationalist in the form of perhaps a twice monthly blog post. I suggest you prepare some tea (or beverage of choice), have some snacks on hand as well as a journal or sketch pad and your favorite writing or drawing instruments before tuning in to read the next post. Writing is a somatic practice that is so damn good for the nervous system, but if your choice is to type in your notes or use voice record for your answers, that’s OK too. Your choice, my darlings! Just know there will be a host of opportunities, inquiry, resources and book recommendations for you to delve into and explore your own relationship to all things related to death and dying and sometimes with some much needed humor sprinkled in. That is a very empowering thing!

I will leave you with one tidbit in the form of a question that Alua Arthur encourages us to ask ourselves everyday, and that is:

“What must I do to be at peace with myself so that I may live presently and die gracefully?”

Sit. With. That.

Till next time!

BE the light, spread the love and be a blessing!

Much gratitude for you taking the time to read my musings and even sharing when you feel called to do so. Oh, and Full Moon Blessings to you! xoxo JT Carricarte

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Falling into Myself

“Beauty and Strength Come from Within”

This week marks 10 years that the Universe “removed” me from a most toxic work environment. Despite the challenges that followed, I will be forever grateful.

You see, for years leading up to the start of yet another school year in 2012, I felt my soul was getting more and more compromised. My integrity, values, self respect, intentional way of living, being and moving in my world were not in alignment amid that type of work environment where backstabbing and outright meanness, bullying and harassment from “higher ups” was the status quo.

Thankfully, my yoga, meditation and mindfulness practices kept my head above water-barely shall I say- and, unknowingly, prepared me for the journey that lay ahead….especially the physical journey. The irony was that despite being in tune with my body, I was not listening to it. I asked the Universe to intervene- it delivered and, just like that about a week later, I was removed from a place that otherwise would have been the cause for whisking me away in a stretcher or in a body bag that school year.

Fast forward a few weeks later, on the eve of my 54th birthday, and I almost died on the operating table (amidst cursing and screaming as per my surgeon), as I lay there for 7 hours getting put back together again. I had several out of body (near death experiences) immediately after my surgery due to my horrifically low blood pressure and blood loss. In total, I had to get 5-6 units of blood. This surgery would also require a future one, which I was in denial about from the onset, until I had no choice but to have it 3 years later. Then another one 4 years after that…all because I wasn’t listening to my body while in that toxic environment where I was working anywhere from 10-15 hour days.

At the time, I was a vice-principal. As I just told you, I was in tune with my body as a result of my yoga, meditation and mindfulness practices, but I wasn’t “listening” to the sounds that were coming from it. Sounds where a simple Google search would have had me running to my orthopedic surgeon mind you!

Looking back now, that “forced” removal brought with it the forced “rest” that comes with physical rehab. The inquiry and inner investigation that came with it was the start of a much needed and overdue rest practice. It was the start of me falling into me.

After 12 years as a VP in such a toxic atmosphere and working with bad behavior ( and in some cases mentally ill higher ups), recovery didn’t come easily. I couldn’t immediately process all of it as I was trying to process WTF happened to me…to my body… what I put it through…and how I was going to get through each day moving forward. Would I ever walk on my own again? Would I get any feeling back in my leg? Would the nerve pain ever subside? Who will help me? I also looked skeletal, and all I could do when I saw my friends was cry. The fact that the end of my career got ripped out from under me didn’t even factor into the equation at this point in time.

It took me years of tears, physical therapy, sadness, self-love, compassion, rest, patience, and tapping into my resilience and inner fortitude to feel it all in order to heal. You know how the saying goes, “You have to feel it to heal it.” It wasn’t until last year, after my last orthopedic surgery and finding myself free of physical pain and debilitation, that I FINALLY started enjoying retirement…only to have another surgery this past June. It was one I had wanted to have done years ago but was consumed with all things orthopedic. If you haven’t read my last two blogs, Doing a Thing and The Heal is Real, you can read about my elective surgery.

Thanks to one of my beloved teachers, Tracee Stanley, and her online portal, the practice of Yoga Nidra has played a VITAL role in the quality of my life, rest, healing, presence, discernment and intentionality over the past couple of years. These practices and habits have also helped me to eradicate the word “busy” from my vocabulary. If you know me, you know how I loathe that word!

We all know the saying about time being our most valuable currency, and we should be very discerning about how we choose to spend it. Of late, I have been looking at time as a function of mindful moments where I choose to be 100% present. No multitasking allowed…wink, wink. Not even something as simple as talking on the phone and doing something else. I try my best to give my full attention to the person or the activity I am engaged in. In retrospect, I think that my 2022 word, spaciousness, has been a game changer. It’s allowed me to explore ways to create more space, fluidity and awareness.

Being aware, fully rested, grounded, rooted, and resourced has gifted me with the magic of presence . Over the years, I’ve evolved into a human BE-ing rather than a human DO-ing. And I really owe it all to my rest practices; both the forced ones from years ago and the ones I’ve cultivated with teachers like Tracee Stanley and Octavia Raheem. Tracee’s book, Radiant Rest, Yoga Nidra for Deep Relaxation and Awakened Clarity as well as Octavia’s book, Pause Rest Be: Stillness Practices for Courage in Times of Change, have also been game changers! I know this may sound crazy, but these books and rest practices have gifted me with more time, space, creativity, clarity, discernment, intuition and grace. Now THAT is the power of rest!

What we have all put our bodies through in this toxic culture of productivity and 24/7 connectedness is mind blowing! Stop and think about it for a moment. No wonder our bodies have been broken down, why we’ve been brought to our knees, developed diseases from all the dis-ease in our bodies and perhaps even live in a state of depression and/or anxiety. I encourage you all to take the time to determine where your life is out of balance, what needs to change, who or what you need to let go, what you want to call in and what areas of your life are in need of deep healing.

Have you been listening to your body?

How do you tune in to your inner GPS?

Are you numbing yourself so you don’t have to feel and, if so, in what ways?

What is your relationship with loss and grief?

How do you deal with transitions or sudden changes?

In what ways do you care for your inner Self?

As I’ve written in other blogs, September and October have always been difficult months for me due to the many losses that have occurred in those months. As I prepare for yet another big transition, I am able to see that as a result of my mindfulness practices, yoga, meditation, and rest, I find myself in deep gratitude for endings and new beginnings.

I am presently getting ready to move out of a place I’ve called home and have lived in for 12 years. A place I refer to as my Treehouse Oasis because of all the trees outside my windows, the myriad of birds that visit, the high vaulted ceilings, and the peace, serenity and quietude that surrounds it.

As I look back on these 12 years, my Treehouse Oasis has been a refuge of sorts. It’s been a place of sacred ritual and much healing: physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually. It has held me, held endless tears, losses, and grief – welcomed and unwelcome as well as planned and unplanned. Conversely, it has also been a place filled with much love, immense gratitude, celebrations, learning, unlearning, evolving and transformation. And let me not forget REST….for it is the foundation of beauty and strength in my book. My mama was right all those decades ago! Too bad I listen listen back then.

The hardest part will be leaving my close-knit circle of friends, since I will be taking up residence in my little seaside “crash pad” for a while. I know new life experiences, people, adventures and opportunities that will enable me to InspireLoveServe await. Nevertheless, it will be yet another transition I find myself preparing, planning and organizing for during this time of year.

I will be falling into myself yet again. The thing is that I’ve realized falling into oneself is a continuous process of releasing, shedding, becoming, unbecoming, calling in and attracting. It’s a process that, when embraced, fills our hearts with joy, intention and meaning. I admit that I love change, I embrace it and I thrive on it. So…I know that all good things await.

September, the fall season and the darkness that comes with it is a great time to look back, take stock, assess, let go and create space to draw in. I will continue to look back and reflect on these past ten years and connect the dots: see all that had to fall away so that new circumstances, people, places, adventures, beauty and blessings could come in. I am steeped in deep gratitude for all of it and, along the way, I will be planting some new seeds this autumn.

What seeds are you planting this autumn?

How do you want your life to evolve?

What do you need more of?

What do you need less of?

Where is your energy best spent?

Darlings, there is no season quite like Autumn! May this season of change bring you a beautiful harvest, abundant blessings, beauty, strength, and space to be still and listen! JTC

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The Heal is Real

“With every breath I take, I am getting healthier and healthier.”

Dear Body,

Keep being beautifully flawed.

Don’t strive to be anything but what you are in your healthiest, happiest state.

You deserve to feel celebrated.

You have done so much for me, and I vow to love you a little more everyday that I have the gift of waking up.

You are a sexy force of nature.

Thank you

I came across this beautiful piece on instagram a couple of weeks after my explant surgery ( you may want to check out my previous blog, Doing a Thing, if you haven’t already perused it- it will explain it all). Dear Body truly spoke to my soul. Unfortunately, I have no idea who wrote it, but it was not me.

As a matter of fact, my last blog was the day before my surgery, and here it is 3 months post-op and already feeling like a million bucks! I have not blogged since then for a number of reasons. It’s not that I wasn’t writing, because I pretty much journal every day. Primarily though, I just wanted to focus of my post-explant healing.

There is a saying in the explant community, The Heal is Real. In all honesty, I was a little skeptical and unsure about that pre-op. Let me tell you now that I’m on the other side- and I’ll shout it off the mountain tops- THE HEAL IS REAL!!!

Yep, it sure is!

The hundreds of thousands of women who’ve been sharing their stories on line, and who’ve often been ignored or gaslit by the doctors who do not believe in Breast Implant Inflammation (BII), have been coming out in droves. Thanks to the internet, YouTube, blogs and social media platforms, women have been telling their stories, sharing pre and post-op pics – some actually show pictures of their removed capsules and implants- and even surgeons are speaking out and sharing pictures of these “toxic bags.”

And toxic bags they are. You should see some of the pics…mold, discoloration, particles floating in them….yikes! As a matter of fact, some surgeons have stopped doing implants altogether and are speaking out about the dangers of breast implants and BII. My…..we’ve come a long way, baby!

Within the first week of my surgery, my energy level was through the roof. If you know me, you know I have a lot of energy to begin with. Let’s just say it has gotten enhanced… wink, wink. My joint inflammation decreased- to the point where I have zero inflammation in one of my knees which was perpetually inflamed for years. Furthermore, the osteoarthritis pain in my hands is gone! The icing on the cake thus far is that bloodwork that was done 3 weeks post op shows my thyroid levels are improving!

Grateful….ever so grateful!

I’m keeping this particular blog short and sweet as I basically wanted to do a quick follow up to my last blog. I’ve also been on a social media sabbatical, so I am easing my way back.

Darlings, I encourage us all to read Dear Body over and over again and make a commitment to LOVE ON YOUR BODY (which happens to be the name of a new song by the very talented Londrelle). I highly recommend you listen to it over and over again! Sometimes I even have it on replay when I am showering and doing some self massage.

I am loving on my body and loving by small boobs more than ever!!!!

Grateful…ever so grateful!

Sending you all much love and abundant blessings, JTC

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Doing a Thing…

“Every woman that finally figured out her worth has picked up her suitcases of pride and boarded a flight to freedom which landed in the valley of change.” Shannon L. Alder

So…I’m doing a thing. Something I’ve been wanting to do for some time. Something I’ve entertained and talked about for years (but have had orthopedic issues which were more pressing and needed tending to). Something I am hoping will improve my health and long-term quality of life. As someone who has always been into health and wellness, I can honestly say that my lifestyle is all about self-care. And at this point in my life, it makes all the sense in the world to do this thing…it’s been overdue.

Back when I was 40 years old- probably in a place of not really knowing my Self and my worth- I was into heavy weight training, spin classes, aerobics, kick-boxing, step and all things related to body image and achieving that perfect “balance” in body physique. To the dismay of my husband at the time, I got breast augmentation. He could not understand why on earth I would want them because he didn’t feel I needed them. But, you know how vanity and ego work hand in hand. Unbeknownst to me at the time, I did not realize how the beauty industry was such a toxic part of our society and deeply rooted in white supremacy.

Now, 20+ years and several pounds later (and guess where most of THAT weight has gone), I have decided to finally get my breast implants removed. I continue working on dissolution of the ego so, YES, I’m boarding my flight to freedom and landing in the valley of change. If you know me, you know how much I love and embrace change!

As a matter of fact, the explant surgery is scheduled for tomorrow, June 2nd.

If you follow me, you know that I believe sharing is caring, that our stories inspire, educate, and motivate others. It is part of what it means to be human in this web on interconnection. I’m a firm believer in what Maya Angelou used to say, “When you learn, teach.”

So…I am passing along some basic information about Breast Implant Inflammation- otherwise known as BII.You can google it yourself and fall into the rabbit hole- but I’m here to spare you. I just wanted to pass on some info in the event you or someone you know is contemplating getting implants or having them removed.

Disclaimer: all the information regarding BII that follows I got from various sources online.

BII is an informal term that some women — and even some doctors — use to describe a range of unexplained symptoms that women can experience following cosmetic breast augmentation or reconstructive breast surgery with implants. 

Some symptoms may include, but are not limited to:

joint and muscle pain, memory loss, concentration problems, breathing problems, chronic fatigue, sleep disturbance rashes, skin problems, dry mouth, dry eyes, anxiety, depression, migraines, hair loss, gastrointestinal problems, symptoms of EBV, Hashimoto’s Thyroiditis, Sjogren’s, Fibromyalgia, Lyme, toxic shock …and the list can go on and on.

The symptoms can appear any time after implant surgery — some people develop symptoms immediately, while some develop them years later. A lot of the symptoms of BII are associated with autoimmune and connective tissue disorders, such as lupus, rheumatoid arthritis, and scleroderma. Some people who have BII also get diagnosed with a specific autoimmune or connective tissue disorder, but many do not. In many, but not all cases, surgery to remove the breast implants improves or completely resolves the BII symptoms. BII is not currently recognized as an official medical diagnosis, and there is no diagnosis code for it. It is poorly understood and hasn’t been studied much as a unique condition.

“BII is a cluster of symptoms that don’t fit into any other classic disease diagnosis,” says Diana Zuckerman, Ph.D., president of the National Center for Health Research and a researcher who studies breast implant safety issues. “We believe that it eventually will be recognized as a medical condition, but that process will take time.” Recently, the U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA), the major plastic surgery societies, and other health authorities have been devoting more attention to BII than they did in the past.

In May 2019, the FDA released a statement noting that the agency’s officials are “taking steps to better characterize [BII] and its risk factors, and are considering ways to help to ensure women have all of the information they need to make informed decisions about whether to obtain breast implants or to remove existing breast implants in an effort to reverse systemic symptoms.” In October 2019, the agency published a draft of recommendations to implant manufacturers for new labeling for breast implants. The agency advised manufacturers to include information about the risk of systemic symptoms in a boxed warning and in a patient decision checklist that would be included in patient information booklets.

In addition, the American Society of Plastic Surgeons and the Aesthetic Surgery Education and Research Foundation are developing and funding new research on BII. To date, there haven’t been any studies that looked at the number of women with breast implants who develop BII. More women have been reporting BII symptoms to doctors and to the FDA during the last few years, which may be because social media groups and media coverage helped to raise awareness of the condition. Thousands of women have joined online communities related to breast implant illness.

From my personal experience, I can tell you there are thousands of stories, experiences, support, resources and tools on these private social media groups. That is a rabbit hole I found myself falling into once I scheduled my surgery. While these groups are informative, supportive and educational, I decided two weeks ago to just stay off socials as I prep for my surgery. Keeping my nervous system regulated is a daily practice, so I’ll go back on after the fact and share my experience with the group. The members are truly very supportive!

Also, I would highly recommend watching the documentary Explant. As described online, Michelle Visage, a judge on RuPaul’s Drag Race, author and podcaster, is no stranger to the limelight. And now she adds documentary star to her list of accomplishments with the release of Explant, streaming on Paramount+ Michelle Visage had her breast implants removed after 20 years of unexplained, undiagnosed illness. Now her deeply personal journey is available to the masses, with the hopes of redeeming other women, through Explant.

I found it to be a stellar documentary, so well done, so much research, interviews, internal memos leaked, clips of hearings, lots of history, foul play and press clippings….. It’s definitely worth watching. Had something like this been around back then, I would have NEVER gotten breast implants! If you are contemplating getting implants, please watch this documentary…do your research! If a child, relative or friend is contemplating getting them, recommend the documentary. Hey, I am all for plastic surgery if that is what you want to do or have to do for obvious reasons like post- mastectomy or are transitioning and want to have top surgery. I’m simply a firm believer in being an educated consumer. and knowing your options.

These days, I’m simply not into doing anything that puts my own health at risk anymore. So…I’m hoping that, like scores of other women who’ve had explant surgery, my autoimmune issues may start improving. And if they do, great! If not, it’s still a win-win because I am getting something out of my body that I wish I had never put in.

I’d like to send a shout out to all my supportive friends who are my lifeline…you know who you are, what you do and how you do it! I am truly blessed and infinitely grateful to be surrounded by such loving and badass goddesses, soul sisters and humans who know how to show up and how to rally around you. We are always there for each other because, in the words of my dearest friend Patti, “This is what we do.”

The following affirmation found its way to me, and its timing is perfect:

“I am choosing to commit to myself, my health and my healing. I commit to the practices and actions that help me be clear, centered and grounded. I know that when I take care of myself, everything aligns in my life beautifully.”

See you on the other side!

Infinite love and gratitude, JTC

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Allow Yourself Some Grace

“ Today I choose to think thoughts that will manifest positive results in the future.“

So… I knew I was making a mistake getting a caffeinated tea at 7 AM when I got to NYU for a doctor appointment. I must admit, I wasn’t fully present. Just as I was finishing a text to one of my girlfriends, one of the nurses showed up and started talking to me. The little voice wanted to warn me, but I shut it up, finished my text and engaged in conversation.

Then, as if that wasn’t enough, I stopped at my local coffee shop, Booskerdoo, for my customary chai latte with oat milk which I always get upon my arrival at the shore. Not good! Not wise! Did I listen? Of course not. I was elated and on a high after getting a great report one year post – knee replacement surgery. Sidenote – the other knee isn’t that great, but it’s been OK and hasn’t been giving me too much of an issue pain wise considering I have osteoarthritis and have complete space loss on weight bearing.

Having my left knee replaced greatly relieved the stress I had put on my other knee for the four years until I had the surgery. Thank you, God!

And speaking of space, which was my 2022 word, here it is five months into the new year, and I’ve had so much of it. I’ve been more intentional, deliberate, diligent, vigilant, and even more discerning as to where, how, when, and with whom I expend my energy.

I’ve said “no” more often, taken things off my plate, reevaluated relationships of all kinds- including my relationship with time- and determined what energies are or aren’t worth my time and attention. Yes.. it’s about boundaries, self-care, self-preservation, self-respect and total alignment, congruency and integrity with thoughts, actions and how to show up and move in the world. It’s about allowing yourself some grace!

Speaking of grace, I am also truly blessed to have a close inner circle of friends which I hold close to my heart. These relationships have deepend over the years as a result of mutual love, constant support, authenticity, genuineness, transparency, integrity, vulnerability, and mutual respect. And when called upon, or when I text, “Can you chat?” they show up!

Enter your people – the ones who know what to say and what to do. Enter chamomile tea. Enter the breath, yoga mat, meditation, prayer, visualization, mantra and music. Enter grounding, rooting, centering, and regulating the nervous system.

Rather than stay in my head, I listened to my body and let it lead me. As Tony Robbins always says in his trainings, “If you’re in your head, your dead.” I needed to drop into my body and utilize my tools so that I could feel Embodied once again.

Back to the caffeine though: I was feeling very ungrounded and anxious over elective surgery that is coming up on June 2nd (and that’s for another blog)… wink, wink. The caffeine got me jittery which, in turn, got me anxious. Scrolling and reading about other peoples experiences didn’t help- no matter how well intentioned and educational it is. It definitely did not/does not serve my nervous system, so I’ll be unplugging for the next couple of weeks.

Oh, and let me not forget a totally irresponsible decision I made that put my friend’s beloved dog in danger. I saw friends outside their house and called out to their dog. Now mind you, I didn’t pull over. Since no one was behind me I just stopped the car. Since my mind was scattered, I was not present. I was not mindful of my actions. Little did I expect the dog to run into the street. OMG! Can you just imagine the shock ????

Thank God, guardian angels, powerful and divine beings that nothing happened!!! When I realized the dog was in the street, I had the presence of mind to open my car door and call its name and it immediately jumped into my car. I still have the distressed look on the owner’s face emblazoned in my mind’s eye, and I don’t think I’ll be forgetting that anytime soon.

The other thing I did after my grounding practice was pull one of Elena Brower’s cards from her Practice You Oracle Deck and it read: “The Universe is listening. I am thinking with love.” It also asks: when do you feel most at home in the silence within yourself?

Well, that was an easy one to answer because I practiced it. I showered myself with love, got silent, went within, and used the tools and resources I have to connect with the infinite all, my higher self and angelic guidance.

Needless to say, just a few minutes into my practice I felt better already. I felt the energy shifting. It’s as if the earth was pulling me deeper and deeper into herself via a luminous grounding cord. As I lay on my stomach with my forehead on the mat, feeling my belly press against the ground every time I inhaled, I felt held. It was as if Divine Mother and Mother Earth were whispering “I got you.”

The thing is that when we are in our heads, we forget who we truly are. We forget of our divine connection. We forget we are energy and that energy shifts with each thought or intention. We forget how powerful we truly are. We forget we are the co-creators of all our experiences. We forget how our thoughts can manifest positive results!

My intention for the next two weeks, since I will be self quarantining, is to give myself even more space. I will create my own daily mini retreats filled with all things that nourish and nurture my soul. If there is one thing I’ve learned to do well, it’s self-care and rest… Oh, and pre-hab and prep for surgery. I know all will be well!

And how ironic that I accidentally flipped my calendar and ended up with tomorrow’s affirmation/inspiration!?!?!? I truly believe there are no accidents or coincidences. The message needed to be read, digested and integrated today:

“Today I choose to think thoughts that will manifest positive results in the future “And in my beloved Sister-goddess friend’s, Kat’s words….And so it is!

What you are reading is the journaling and free writing I did after my practice. It just flowed out of me. Needless to say, I appreciate your time and attention…Thank you for reading! Comments always welcome.

Staying calm….and carrying on, JTC

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The Blessed Pause

“Busy-ness steals imagination. Being constantly over scheduled dims creativity. Doing the most limits your capacity to expand.” -Octavia Raheem

Greetings, my darlings, and Happy New Year!

I meant to get this blog our sooner, but I have been taking a lot of time to rest since the start of the new year. If you read my previous blog, Blessings Bloom, then you know I made rest and honoring my body a huge priority starting January of last year. Well…it appears I’ve continued that…wink, wink.

SInce writing that blog, I decided that my word for 2022 was going to be Space. It kept popping up over and over again- in meditations, yoga nidra practices and social media posts. Space allows for the blessed pause. Or is it that the blessed pause allows for space? EIther way, they are both the antithesis of my most dreaded word, and one I have been dilligent about eliminating from my vocabulary, and that is busy.

In her IG post, yoga teacher, author, creator and teacher who is devoted to rest, Octavia Raheem, goes on to say:

“I used to respond to how are you with “busy,” a snorky smirk, then lift my chin with an air like being busy somehow proved that I was “somebody.” I was so proud of my over-scheduled life and wore busy as a badge of tired honor. My busy proved that I was important and worthy of something…I mean right? A messy truth is that my busy was costing me my health, relationships, clarity. It was costing me myself. My busy was a place to hide from a deeper calling and purpose and too much to fit in this space. But listen, busy can be a sneaky yet broad daylight type of thief. Stealing things from you that are priceless, precious and purposeful.”

WOW! POWERFUL! Can you relate? I sure can This was a very old version of me. I’ve written about that in past blogs over the years. And if you are a woman, head of household, perhaps a single parent, or someone juggling all the balls life throwing at you, I am certain Octavia’s words in one way, shape or form resonate for you.

Darlings, the start of a new year can exacerbate this “busyness” state without us even realizing it. January tends to be a time of year when people feel compelled to do, do, do because it’s the start of a new year, new beginnings, and perhaps a new you. Lists are made, planners get crammed with “goals” and “to do lists” and overscheduling of all types. Yet, the most important part of this time of year- especially in the northern hemisphere where it is winter season- is REST. It’s slowing down. Moving slowly. Honoring the cycles of the moon and sun. It’s the blessed pause.

Have you ever noticed that when we move slowly time goes by slowly as well? That when we pause we create space for clarity, connection and for our intuition to sharpen? That this space seems like we’ve been given extra time? So much of this is tied to our quality of life!

In fact, if we take a page out of Mother Nature’s book, we see the beauty of honoring the season and how important it is to go within, tap into our inner vastness and even “do nothing and rest afterwards” which happens to be one of my favorite sayings. Pausing and resting also allow for expansion and spaciousness. Who doesn’t want more spaceousness in their lives?

When we are on constant “doing mode” our nervous system is stressed, taxed, fatigued and overloaded. We miss the simple pleasures of the winter season. And these simple pleasures are extremely soothing, nourishing, expansive and vital for the soul and for our growth.

Taking the time to periodically disconnect from all the distractions of social media and the toxic, fear-mongering of the news cycle will also add to the quality of your life… the quality of your being. It gifts us with yet more space and time as well as inner peace.

Darlings, don’t limit your capacity to expand! In fact, I encourage you all to follow Octavia Raheem and her work. Her new book- Pause, Rest, Be: Stillness Practices for Courage in Times of Change will be released on February 1st. If you go on her IG, you will see other offerings of hers in addition to ways to be part of the virtual book club.

Given the times we are living, we need to not only have a hefty toolbox of spiritual tools and practices, but we must take action: put ourselves in the right physical, emotional and mental state and put the tools into place. This, my darlings, is an ongoing practice!!!

I wish you all the joys of the blessed pause! JTC

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Blessings Bloom

“The most valuable possession you can have is an open heart.” Carlos Santana

Wow! Here we are, at the end of yet another tumultuous year! Where did you go, 2021?

If there is anything that 2020 and 2021 have taught us as a collective, is that life is messy! I believe that to really feel and live the messy, human experience, we have to enjoy the beauty in the mess. Find the joy. Keep an open heart. Looks for ways to expand. Love hard. Love deeply. Spread the love, and find the blessings that are always blooming around us.

This time last year, we were all faced with looking back at a year that brought with it collective grief, loss, violence, trauma and heartbreak. This time last year the general sentiment was that we needed 2021 to be filled with hope, kindness, compassion, empathy, peace, unity, community, reverence and respect for all of humanity and, above all, LOVE. After the cards 2020 dealt us, we were ready for some BIG changes.

How was 2021 for you? Did you experience any big changes or shifts? How did you show up for your Self and others? How did others show up for you? Did you find yourself re-evaluating relationships and the value, or lack thereof, that people bring to your life? Did you intentionally make any big changes in your life? Did you set a goal or have a vision for 2021? Did you have a particular word for the year? Do you have a vision or a word for 2022?

For me personally, 2021 flew by in a heartbeat!!! I feel like I was so much more productive in 2020. However, I did feel more present, expansive, resourced, rooted and rested than ever before. I made rest and honoring my body a huge priority starting January 2021 since I knew I was going to have one of my knees replaced. My focus was keeping my nervous system regulated and in rest and digest mode. A necessary part of that was also keeping fear mongers at bay and not operating from the matrix of fear.

I think what also helped was that my word for the year in 2021 was REVERENCE….for all things and all beings. Feeling deeply became a practice as did finding the blessing no matter how messy life got.

I feel that I dedicated my time to what and who mattered most and balanced play with rest. With reverence as my guide, I was very intentional and discerning with how, what, where and with whom to expend my energy- especially given the energy I would need to have for the months following my surgery.

Choosing reverence as my word for 2021 came on the heals of discernment and intention (words for the two years prior). In my estimation, they are a perfect trifecta. And that trifecta is made even sweeter by bringing in the rest piece. If you missed my August blog titled, The Power of Resting Radiantly, you may want to check it out.

See, the thing about being fully rested is that it allows us to be present, intentional, discerning and in a space where we see blessings bloom…..and being able to find, and even enjoy, the blessings in the mess. Let’s face it, we make better decisions in all areas of our lives when we are rested. We are better equipped to deal with the messy aspect of our lives. Heck, we are even able to feel the gratitude those moments present regardless of how challenging they may be.

The most magical thing about being fully rested is our connection to the Divine. Our intuition is sharpened, we can feel and sense the downloads happening and the ways inspiration and guidance are presenting themselves. We are more awake and open to life’s synchronicities and are more present in our daily interactions. More importantly though, I feel that we are better able to get out of our heads and drop into our hearts. In doing so, we approach life, people, circumstances and just about everything else with an open heart.

In dropping into my heart center, I think my word for this next year may be either connection or integration. Exploring all sorts of connections and keeping an open heart to what lays ahead, what may show up, and the blessings that bloom around it all. Sometimes making connections also involves reflecting back on where we’ve been and how we got to where we are. A little self-inquiry can help guide the way.

Being able to integrate all of it is also a work in progress and a determining factor as to how we proceed and how we show up for this human experience. Who says I can’t choose 2 words….wink, wink!?!?!

A self-inquiry process allows us to have or establish a vision of where we want to go, where we want to be either personally or professionally, what we need to change or refine and further identify things, people, situations or circumstances that are no longer serving our highest good. These, too, are blessings!

What are some blessings you would like to see bloom in 2022?

What are some of the practices that would support YOUR physical, mental, spiritual and emotional health?

As we bring 2021 to a close, I will leave you with some lovely affirmations from Yoga with Kassandra that will help support you and your practices as you venture into a new year. May they serve you well and, as the saying goes, take what you need and leave the rest!

I treat my body with love and respect

I allow all parts of me to be expressed.

In this moment I release all thoughts and worry.

When challenges arise, I stay anchored in hope.

I allow myself to slow down and rest.

My self-esteem is growing day by day.

I send healing energy to all parts of my body.

Darlings, I thank you for support, comments, feedback and for taking the time to read my blogs. May 2022 bring you all sorts of abundant blessings, and may you have the clarity, calm and ease to receive them- even if they come disguised as challenges.

Just remember, an open heart is our most valuable possession! JTC

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Love, Gratitude and Blessings

“All the great teachers have left us with a similar message: Go within, discover your invisible higher self, and know God is the LOVE that resides within you.” -Wayne Dyer

Imagine the world we could live in if everyone was consciously connected to the divine LOVE that resides within each and every one of us. Imagine if we all acted from this space. Imagine if we all took the time to make connecting with our higher self a practice. Imagine if love was a way of life for all human beings.

Imagine if we all had some kind of formal GRATITUDE practice. Imagine if gratitude was our daily attitude. Imagine if gratefulness was the state we embodied. Imagine if gratitude was our forever companion.

Imagine if we all saw the BLESSINGS that abound. Imagine if we all took the time to see the lessons and the blessings that always present themselves. Imagine if blessings didn’t exist.

Imagine if we all led from a place of love, gratitude and blessings. Imagine if we could all be a healthy bridge between past and future generations. Imagine the healing that would provide. Imagine how proud our ancestors, known and unknown, would be of us all. These are some of the things I’ve been pondering this week.

Baby steps though…it all begins with each and every one of us committing to going within, connecting to the love that is our essence, doing the work, dealing with and clearing past traumas, limiting beliefs as well as conscious and unconscious biases that do not serve us and doing our part to dismantle systems of oppression that are not serving all of humanity. Knowledge is POWER! And as Maya Angelous always said, “When you know better, do better.”

Yesterday I took a beautiful class with Acosia Red Elk. She is an Enrolled Member of the Umatilla Tribe in Northeastern Oregon. One of her many talents is that she is an Indigenous Yoga Teacher and Facilitator. The class was a 7 Generation Prayer Flow and Time Line Clearing, and it was so powerful, emotional and moving!!!

I especially loved the way she referred to us all being a mini earth and that we are also the ripple effect of the past. One of the things that struck me was when she said that we are all indigenous people and that we all carry indigenous wisdom in our body. The knowingness is there, my darlings. We just have to create the space and the practices to connect, ground and access this inner wisdom that has been passed down for generations and generations.

Our bodies are filled with knowledge and information. This information is the rippling effect of each choice and life experience that our ancestors and elders had. ..in other words, “The teachings of our ancestors were the foundation for who and where we are today.” When Acosia Red Elk said this, I was overcome with emotion. The tears were stinging my eyes! I found myself breathing deeply into this knowing. I felt it in my bones.

If we take the time to think about our ancestors, regardless of when they existed on this planet and the lessons, experiences and choices with which they were faced, they all had the same goal: to thrive and survive. I’ve often said that we are our ancestors unfulfilled wishes, unspoken words, the product of their hopes and dreams, and the answers to their prayers. That, in itself, is so powerful!

When we take the time to acknowledge these things, hold them in love and gratitude without judging them, we can see the blessing that we are. We can see how we stand on the shoulders of fiercely determined individuals who fought, prayed and dreamed for all of us who are alive at this very moment in time. Now what do we do with that knowledge?

On this day of remembering, one that is complicated and painful for many, I leave you with the following:

What kind of ancestor do you want to be for future generations?

What kind of bridge do you want to build in order to connect past and future generations?

What kind of world and planet do you want to leave for future generations to inherit?

How can you honor those who came before you?

What wisdom can you pass on to your loved ones?

What teachings have served you on your journey thus far?

Which ones haven’t?

What learned behaviors have been an obstacle and are in need of clearing?

What must you forgive your Self for?

Who or what in your life is in need of forgiving?

How can you commit to being the change in your little corner of the universe?

What kind of ripple do you want to be?

Despite everything currently going on in our world, please do not be discouraged by it. I encourage us all to see the good in the world because there truly is a whole lot of it! We can each be a part of it….we can each be a wonder in the world…one that is filled with remembrance, truth, love, gratitude and blessings!

Remember to lead form the heart…right from the start! JTC

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A Letter to My Ancestors

“Today has been prayed over. This week has been prayed over. I am held. We are held.” Octavia Raheen

On this auspicious day, Halloween, when it is believed that the veil between the realms of living and dead becomes the thinnest, I wanted to take some time to connect with my ancestors. So…earlier today I took out my journal and penned the following:

To my Beloved Ancestors; Known and Unknown,

It is with a full, infinitely grateful heart that I thank you for the lives you’ve lived, the roads you’ve traveled and your eternal presence on the other side. I know I come from a lineage of fiercely strong women and determined men whose shoulders I stand on and who’ve made it possible for me to walk this earth for the past 63 years. I know I am your answered prayers, hopes and dreams fulfilled, and the voice many of you did not have given the centuries you traversed this planet and all the countries from which you come…Portugal, Spain, France, Cuba…just to name a few.

I am in awe of the centuries of love and wisdom- as well as struggle, determination, perseverance and resilience- that accompanies me and has for the past 63 years. To think that some of you never even lived to half my age given the times and conditions in which you lived! You’ve been my constant companions, guides, sages and guests in all of my homes whether or not I knew it at the time. Now, the door is always open. there’s always an empty seat at my table and I know you’re riding shotgun with me…wink, wink.

Thank you for the love and guidance in, and over, my life. The core of my inner being feels held, supported, nurtured and surrounded by your luminous light. I wish I would have been able to meet more of you in my lifetime! That day will come though…

With an open, love-filled heart and open mind, I ask that you continue making your presence known to me. I’m in awe of the most sublte as well as monumental ways you communicate with me. May I always stay awake to these magical and magnificent moments in time!

The more I connect with my breath, the more I feel your life force breathing through me. The more I connect with my intuition, the more I sense your guidance and subtle nudging. And the more I sit in silence, the louder your voices come through. The more I ask, the quicker I receive. Thank you for these moments!

I know I am divinely guided, guarded, directed and protected. Thank you for surrounding me with your love and light always…and in all ways.

Every fiber of my being is a tapestry that has been energetically woven throughout space and time by all of you, known and unknown. I bow in reverence to you all!

Jo-Ann Theresa Carricarte