Tag: Joy

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My Guest Blogger

“How I Met My Yaya and Faced My Fears”

 by Shannon “Blondie” Green

Recently, while on a Yoga Retreat with my dearest people in this world, Yaya (as I call her but as you may know as the one and only Jo-Ann Carricarte, the driving force behind this blog) mentioned  that I should guest blog for her, as part of my Yaya mentorship (more to come on that at another time).  As we were discussing the “assignment,” I expressed my concern that I wouldn’t know what to write about. She suggested that I should start at the beginning of my journey.  So that is where this story begins…

Time: March 2013

Place: Lumeria, Maui, HI

Now I will admit that prior to this experience I was the quintessential worrywart and control freak. Reflecting back, I now see that I lived in constant fear. My life consisted of many “what-if” scenarios, and I believed it was normal to worry about things like money, health, cars breaking down, etc.  I set my watch ahead about 10 minutes so I wouldn’t be late, and I always had to wear it. I believed everything had to be planned, and planned, and planned some more. I did not have faith to just let things unfold organically. When things did not go as I planned, I did not handle it gracefully and with ease. I responded very emotionally and often had a difficult time resolving the problem. At this point in my life I was 36, and I knew that these behaviors were not serving me…and I certainly wasn’t happy in my life, but what I didn’t know was what I could do to change things.  Luckily for me, I had an amazing, life long best friend, Christy, who decided she was going to organize a weeklong yoga retreat to Maui. And luckily for me, my best friend from college, Claire, convinced me that we NEEDED to go!

As we began our first class, Christy spoke about being present and living in “Maui Time,” where it didn’t matter what time it was, where life moved a little more slowly, and the idea of being purposeful in what we said, thought and did while we were there. At this point, I did something that I will never regret; I decided to remove my watch for the duration of the retreat.

The second thing that happened was that Christy gave us each a small journal to use while we were there. Each day, she would give us journaling exercises and if we chose to do them or not was left up to us.  I soon became engrossed in writing in my little pink journal. My thoughts and reflections helped me realize that one of the reasons I was sad and struggling in my life was because I was filled with so much fear.

The third thing that happened was I met Yaya.  I honestly don’t remember how the conversation began, but there was some mention of her name “Jo-Ann” but how everyone called her “Mama Yaya”. Somewhere along the way I dropped the “Mama” part, and she just became “Yaya” to me.  Any of you who know Jo-Ann know just how “Yaya” she is. She is this vibrant being filled with love and energy. She is funny and energetic, but serious and very much about living her authentic self.  As the week went on, you would often find her “holding court” at the dining room table after we had finished a meal, sitting at the head of the table while me, Claire, and a few of the other ladies were bombarding her with questions about what books to read, what websites we should check out-  all the while writing down everything little thing she said…the list in my journal includes among them the following books, websites, and authors: Seven Spiritual Laws of Success, The Four Agreements, A Return to Love, The Law of Divine Compensation, Wishes Fulfilled, Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Life, The Power of Now, A New Earth, Daily Om, Daily Love by Mastin Kipp, Marianne Williamson, Deepak Chopra, Wayne Dyer, Hay House Publishing, Oprah’s Super Soul Sunday, and even more.

Who was this Yaya person?? How did she know all of this stuff and how could I get some of it??? I knew she held answers, and I wanted to know more. I wanted to know everything. I wanted to find the peace and energy and love she spoke of.  My journal is full of entries that talk about how I wanted to have an open heart and clear mind.  How I wanted to listen to the wisdom of my body, my desire to let go of fear and the things that frighten me. I wanted to make room for miracles and be open to abundance coming into my life.  I journaled about my fears of not becoming a mother, of not finding purpose, of growing old and unfulfilled and my desire to release these fears. I knew I needed to let go of my fears and somewhere during that week I began to learn how.

March 15, 2013:  Journal Entry

“Today I let go of what weighs me down.  I accept that my life is unfolding as it should be. I surrender. I am not afraid of what is not happening. I detach from trying to control that which I cannot control.  I surrender to the will of God and the Universe.  I open my heart to whatever may come into it. I welcome what may come in.  I am not afraid of things that don’t turn out the way I thought.  I will enjoy every moment as it unfolds.”

As I reread these words from my journal the other day, I can honestly say that I don’t know if I wrote them or copied them from someone.  They sound so wise and profound that I believe I likely stole them from someone else- except I didn’t note who said them, which I normally do if I write down a quote I like. Regardless, this was the point at which I surrendered and let go. As I continued to read my old journal, I can see how this day was a turning point where I decided to let fear stop running my life. One thing I know is that the girl who arrived in Maui on March 12, 2013 was not the same girl who left Maui a week later.

The journey hasn’t been easy, and it is still continuing. I won’t lie, it  has been a journey that has taken many years and a lot of work, but it has been wonderful and fulfilling. and I hope to share some of that with you as a guest blogger for Yaya.

So I leave you with the following few questions:

  • Looking back, do you see a turning point in your life where you surrendered and let go of the fears that were holding you back from being your authentic self? 
  • Was there an event that happened that made you realize you wanted to see things differently and live life differently? 
  • Was there a person you met that inspired you to make the change that you had been afraid to make?
  • What tools (journaling, authors, podcasts, etc) have helped you on your journey? 

Oh, and in case you are wondering about that watch, I took of in Maui. It has never been put back on my wrist. ☺

 

Bravo! Thank you, my beautiful Blondie (aka “La Bomba”) for such a beautiful reflection! You took the first step, rose up to the challenge and produced the first of many future blogs to come. I am so proud of how much you have grown, evolved and embraced your magnificence since Maui brought us all together! I am proud of how fabulously you are playing your own version of “Yaya” in your everyday life, both personally and professionally. Thank you for the reflection questions you posed. Thank you for making a difference and making the world a more beautiful place. Thank you for the light you bring to others. Thank you for your love. Lastly, thank you for choosing to inspire, love, serve AND lead from the heart…right from the start! I look forward to reading more!!! Love, Yaya xo

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Your Creative Power

“Life is a work of art and we are its artists.” –Sandra Magsamen

I love Sandra Magsamen! A friend of mine turned me on to her art years ago. You’ve probably seen her plaques, mugs, books, cards, ceramics, and calendars bearing her signature images, motifs and messages from the heart. They are colorful, uplifting and make you smile. Just the other day, I pulled her book, Living Artfully, off the shelf. I haven’t looked at it in about ten years or so, and I think it’s about time to start perusing it again.

Her book reminds us that we are indeed the artists in our lives. The problem is that many of us have let our paints dry, we’ve put away our brushes, forgotten our dreams,  have let 24/7 electronic connectedness consume us and have forgotten how creative we were as children. We have forgotten the power of our imagination and the possibilities that dwell in our creative force field. It’s time we reclaim the dreams, possibilities and rediscover our creative power. Why? Because it’s fun, and I’m sure you will agree that we need to have more fun!

We all have creativity inside of us. It lives in our hearts and minds every single moment of every single day. When we were children, we lived in this field of creative energy. I invite you to take a moment to ponder these questions:

  • What did I love to do when I was a child?
  • How did I fill my days?
  • What mattered?
  • Who and what made me happy?
  • What are my most cherished memories?
  • What things and activities did I truly treasure?
  • What things did I really not like? 

Let your imagination run wild here as memories flood your mind. Allow all your senses to engage you. Visualize every last detail of those memories – the sights and the sounds. Connect with the feelings that these memories evoke. Think about the hours you spent playing, imagining and creating all sorts of things.

Even people who’ve had less than pleasurable childhoods used their imagination to create a life they would want to have someday. And guess what? Many of them did. They held onto hope and tapped into their dreams, strength and became resilient. Along the way, they learned the power of creativity, visualization and the law of attraction. At some point in all our lives, we must take the time rediscover our creative power. In doing so, we come alive…..in living color! Oh, and we must ask questions, a whole lot of them!

In Living Artfully, there’s mention of a UCLA study that documented the following: on average, at age five we engage in creative tasks 98 times a day, laugh 113 times a day and ask 65 questions. By age forty-four, the numbers fade to 2 creative tasks a day, 11 laughs and 6 questions. Keep in mind, this book was published in 2006. Also, I don’t know when that study was done, but I would be willing to say that in today’s world, where children as young as one and a half are already addicted to their parents phones and even have their own iPads, the numbers have really dwindled.

And on this note, please allow me to digress a moment. Sadly, a child’s creativity is already being squashed by overuse of these technologies. I believe there should be a designated place and time for technology use. Brain development is being affected and social skills impaired since technology makes it difficult for a child to pick up on social cues. Overuse of technology is keeping children from developing the ability to think critically or be creative. Oh, and the lack of exercise and physical play is causing us to see obesity in children on the rise. And let’s not forget about posture. Let’s face it, children will model what they see the adults in their lives doing! Hmmmmmm

All the more reason we must foster an environment of creativity, fun and play. And what better way to do it than to meet that head on, full throttle, and in hot pursuit! It starts with us adults learning how to be a child again and awakening our senses and lust for play, imagination, curiosity and invention…..each and every day. In doing so, we gain confidence, and it does wonders for our self-esteem! Tapping into our creativity encourages us to color outside the lines and to take risks. We become more flexible and open. We embrace mistakes and find creative solutions. More importantly though, we are able to live more fully as we actively engage all our senses and savor the beauty, magic and possibilities around us. Just think how inspiring this could be to the little ones in our lives!

How can we tap into our inner child, and our creative, artist Self? If you are at a loss, or need a place to start, here are a few ways to do so:

  1. Give yourself permission to be you
  2. Have fun and have a sense of humor
  3. Get curious and ask lots of questions
  4. Learn to meditate 
  5. Invite creativity to be part of your everyday routines and activities
  6. Play loud music and dance freely 
  7. Think of yourself as a creative person and you will become one
  8. Act as if everything you do is a creative expression of who you are
  9. Be innovative, recycle and reuse
  10. Look at things from a different perspective
  11. Get yourself an adult coloring book or download ready-made images for coloring
  12. Take dance classes
  13. Get together with friends and paint, make pottery or play games
  14. Go bowling, ride a bike, pick up a new hobby
  15. Play tourist in your own town
  16. Learn about crystals / maybe learn to make jewelry
  17. Learn how to knit / crochet / sew / play an instrument 
  18. Read the book Everything I Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten
  19. Watch travel films / home renovation shows
  20. Redecorate by simply moving furniture around
  21. Experiment with color anywhere and everywhere
  22. Make “play dates” with friends, play dress up and do things that bring you joy
  23. Experiment with new recipes and different cuisines
  24. Start / join a book club…or any type of club
  25. Smile and laugh more and see what happens

Darlings, I hope this blog joyfully inspired you and that you discover more ways to live a life that vibrates with creativity and inspiration. Now go out and tap into your creative power and create away!

Inhale love & light…Exhale grace & gratitude, JTC

 

 

 

 

 

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Spring Cleaning

“Clear your clutter and enjoy the magic of a tidy home – and the calm, motivated mindset it can inspire.” – Marie Kondo

I don’t know about you, but the month of March gets me into the “spring cleaning” mindset. Putting away the snow boots, heavy coats, scarves and other winter-related items thrills me. What else thrills me this time of year? Looking for things I can discard, donate or for which I can find a new home. The month of March sparks a lot of creativity as well. I love to move things around and shake things up!

The inspiration for this blog came as I was composing an email to a dear friend of mine who is moving and needs help decluttering. She has so much on her plate these days, that she reached out to me to inquire if I could take a trip to see her and help her with the process. Since I will be unable to go due to travel plans, I told her I would email her some pointers and guidelines from one of my favorite books, The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up – the Japanese Art of Decluterring and Organizing by Marie Kondo. What a gem! It’s the perfect book to declutter and tidy up “once and for all.”

So, as I was composing the list, I had an “aha” moment and decided that it would make for a perfect blog on spring cleaning. After all, March is all about clearing out, cleaning up from the winter and getting reading for spring (especially here in the northeast). As with any type of creative and inspirational project, I believe the key is to have fun doing so. Enjoying the process and the fruits of our labor is the name of the game. When all is said and done, we can sit back, take in the beauty we created and maybe even pop a bottle of bubbly to celebrate.

In an effort to not overwhelm, I only pulled specific tips and guidelines from the book:

Getting Started:

1. Visualize your destination
2. Vividly picture what it would be like to live in a clutter-free space
3. Tidy up / de-clutter / discard in the right order
3. Selection criterion: Does it spark Joy?
4. Choose what you want to keep not what you want to get rid of
5. Keep only those things that speak to your heart. Then take the plunge and discard  / donate all the rest.
6. Think in terms of category not place
7. Collect everything that fits within the same category at one time
8. Don’t let your family see
The BEST sequence is:
Clothes
Books
Papers
Miscellaneous
Mementos
CLOTHING: divide into sub-categories
Tops
Bottoms
Socks
Bags
Accessories
Clothes for specific events
Shoes
*Place every item of clothing on the floor, be sure to handle each one, and ask yourself “Does this spark Joy?”  If so, it’s a keeper!
BOOKS: divide into four broad categories
General (for reading pleasure)
Practical (references, cookbooks, etc)
Visual (photograph collection, etc)
Magazines
*The criterion is still of course whether or not it gives you a thrill of pleasure when you touch it
*Discard / donate books that you keep saying you will get to one day (because most likely you never will)
PAPERS: Dispose of anything that does NOT fall into one of these three categories:
1.currently in use
2. needed for a limited period of time
3. must be kept indefinitely
*All papers should be kept in one central place not scattered everywhere
*Discard all those pages you ripped out of a magazine (if you haven’t used it, you never will)
MISCELLANEOUS: here’s the sorting order
CDs/DVDs
Skin care products
Makeup
Accessories
Valuables (passports, credit cards, etc)
Electrical equipment and appliances (digital camera, electric cords, anything that seems vaguely electric)
Household equipment (stationary and writing materials, sewing kits, etc)
Household supplies (expendable like medicine, detergents, tissues, etc)
Kitchen goods / food supplies (spatulas,pots, pans, baking pans, blenders, etc)
Other (spare change, figurines, etc)
*Don’t keep things “just because” – these items too need to be handled and kept only if they bring you Joy
Other Misc items:
  • Gifts: many gifts remain unopened/unused/used once – thank it, thank the giver and discard / donate / pass on
  • Travel samples: we collect them yet never take them on trips – these only last a few weeks to maybe a year – discard/ donate
  • Electronics packages: you can always get help on-line or in the store – discard boxes/packages
  • Unidentified cords: will always remain a mystery- discard
  • Broken appliances: contact your local recycler and get rid of them
  • Extra bedding: yes we need some extra bedding but don’t stockpile or hold onto if soiled, mildewed or have no use for
  • Spare buttons: in most cases no one replaces buttons – if it’s a special garment/coat sew the extra button inside if it
  • Products from the latest health craze: if you’re not actively using them, thank them and discard/donate
  • Free novelty goods: None of these are going to bring you any pleasure – discard them / donate without any qualm
  • Small change: coins are stripped of their dignity when left to just waste away-use your coins – adopt the motto “into my wallet” or put them in a jar/piggy bank and cash them in every now and then
  • Sentimental items: no matter how wonderful things used to be we cannot live in the past – the joy we feel here and now is more important – sort through the keepsakes and discard/donate/give away – the space we live in should be for the person we are becoming now not the person we were in the past
  • Photos: do NOT put them in a box to “someday enjoy”- it doesn’t happen – keep the ones that inspire joy – keep your photos in albums – discard photos/albums from your past that you never look at
DESIGNATE A PLACE FOR EACH THING: 
This is a routine to follow every day, and you will avoid seeing clutter all over the place. The point in deciding specific places to keep things is to designate a spot for EVERY THING.
STORAGE: two rules
1. Store all items of the same kind in the same place
2. Don’t scatter storage space
*If you live with your family first clearly define separate storage spaces for each family member
“Clutter is caused by a failure to return things to where they belong. Therefore, storage should reduce the effort needed to put things away, not the effort needed to get them out. 
You should arrange a room / storage space so you can tell at a glance where everything is than to worry about the details of who does what, where and when.”
Marie Kondo’s magical little book is simple and very clearly understood. It really cuts to the chase, and it also identifies pitfalls that trip us up and keep us stuck. That is why it’s so important to adhere to her process. The process is truly transformational and will not only declutter and organize your personal sanctuary, but it will do wonders for your mind and spirit! There’s a whole lot more content in the book that is valuable and practical, so check it out! Needless to say, this book also makes for a delightful gift.
Happy Spring Cleaning my darlings!
Inhale love & light…Exhale grace and gratitude, JTC
 
 
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Checking In with Your Heart

“Everybody has a calling. Your real job in life is to figure out why you are here and get about the business of doing it.” – Oprah

Today I pulled out a book I had purchased in August 2012 and had never opened it, other than to write an inscription in it. This particular book, The Daily Om, was purchased at Omega Institute in Rhinebeck, NY when I was there for their Being Yoga Conference Retreat. I purchased the book because I’ve always enjoyed the wisdom, messages and stories of The Daily Om and used to receive them via email. By the way, some of their on-line courses are very helpful as well. On another note, their Daily Om Horoscope is always ever so appropriate. Go figure!

I guess you can say that I wasn’t all too surprised when I read the first story (what a magical universe we live in). You see, I’ve always loved hearts as far back as I can remember. I used to doodle, draw and cut out hearts all the time as a child. I’d buy anything with hearts or the word Love on it. I still do! As I read the first story, it reminded me of the intent behind InspireLoveServe and why I felt the line- Lead from the heart…Right from the start- had to be included. As I mentioned in a previous blog, these words have become part of my philosophy, purpose and way of living. I don’t think I could have come up with such a deeply spiritual and profound description if I tried; yet, there it was staring me in the face. It was tailor-made! So, here it is:

Linking Center: Checking In with Your Heart

Every day, we experience a magical twilight between our dreaming and waking states. During this brief period of time, our minds still remember that all things are possible. We can smoothly transition to the physical world without losing a sense of hope when we first cheek in with our heart center before we even get out of bed.

Our heart center is our link between body and spirit, instinct and inspiration. It does not take long to hold a thought of loving gratitude for that which beats within us — in a mere moment we can review all we want to accomplish in the light of love. When we get into the habit of beginning our day from the heart, all of our activities glow with the infusion of conscious intent, and all interactions occur with compassion.

We can restart our day right now my imagining how love and inspiration feel. As light glows from our heart, radiating out through our bodies into the space around us, any feelings of stress or frustration seem to melt away. Now we see each person we encounter as a fellow traveler along the journey of life, and every activity becomes part of a spiritual partnership. As conscious participants in the cycle of giving and receiving, we share our light with others as we become enlivened ourselves, with our heart leading the way.

In the intersection where body and soul meet, our heart beats in time with the rhythm of the universe. It does the physical work of supplying our body with life force without our attention…but for its spiritual work, we need to be conscious. When we concentrate on its rhythm and glowing light, we remember that we are spiritual beings having a human experience. Then we know that we can choose any time to check in with our heart center and, in doing so, experience the joy of being in love with life.

You know the quote, Do what you love and love what you do? Well, if we check in with our hearts, we can tap into that knowingness of why we are here. This particular Daily Om story spells it out pretty clearly. The key though is to figure out how we are going to get about the business of doing it. Decisions, decisions…Choose wisely!

How can you inspire, love, serve AND lead from the heart…right from the start in your daily life?

Carry on, darlings!

Inhale love & light…Exhale grace & gratitude, JTC

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Go for the Joy

“We cannot cure the world of sorrows, but we can choose to live in joy.”               —Joseph Campbell

It’s no secret I love books. As a matter of fact, I saw a post the other day that said, “A room without books is like a body without a soul.” Can you relate? Well, I think every room in my place has books….all types of books….even in the bathroom. In addition to the books I enjoy reading, I am especially drawn to little motivational / inspirational books. I always have been as far back as I can remember. One particular book I picked up recently is called, Joy.

This book is rather colorful and contains wonderful quotes on every other page, along with ways we can cultivate that state of Joy –  regardless of what we have going on in our world. Since my last couple of blogs were pretty intense and heavy, I figured I’d keep this one light and fun. Plus, it’s the start of a new year. Who can’t use a little more joy in their life? I think it’s safe to say that we all can. But, once again, it’s an internal job. It’s not something we can seek outside of us….it’s something we were born with, and it’s up to us to choose to live in Joy. As stated in the book’s jacket, “If we want joy to be the story of our years, joy must be the story of our days. Joy must be a daily choice, a habit, a promise we make to ourselves. Joy must be the way we travel.”  Love!

Joy also builds our resilience muscle, especially when we are experiencing tough and challenging times in our lives. And yes, we can find joy even during the times we are grieving and in pain,  The more we tap into our internal state of joy, the more that becomes our default setting. I also believe joy is contagious. It seems that the more joy we scatter, the more that comes back our way!

So, I leave you with a list of ways we can tap into joy and bring more of it into our every day lives (taken from my recent lovely acquisition). I invite you to pause and reflect on each one and how you demonstrate these qualities (or ways you would like to incorporate them into your life). While they are very simple, it’s also very clear how some of us may have difficulties  / roadblocks / challenges in working with them, especially if joy wasn’t something that was engrained in us as we were growing up. It may have even been looked upon as frivolous, selfish or hokey-pokey. Nevertheless, here goes:

  • Prepare for joy
  • Believe in joy
  • Feel joy
  • Encourage joy
  • Accept joy
  • Notice joy
  • Choose joy
  • Inhabit joy
  • Recognize joy
  • Savor joy
  • Live joy
  • Experience Joy
  • Begin joy
  • Desire Joy
  • Take joy
  • Anticipate joy
  • Give joy
  • Receive joy
  • Create joy
  • Follow joy
  • Share joy
  • Spread joy
  • Cultivate joy
  • See joy
  • Catch joy
  • Double joy
  • Crave joy
  • Welcome joy
  • Magnify joy
  • Find joy
  • Be joy
  • Make room for joy

Some of these really excite me when I look at them in a more creative fashion. I’m looking forward to finding ways I can expand on them beyond the obvious. After all, we should not have to wait for the holidays, special events, or celebrations to experience joy….as it is an inherent part of life….“Life is a gift. Open with joy.”

This new year, let’s be the Joy we want to see in the world!

Inhale love & light…Exhale grace & gratitude, JTC

 

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A Meaningful To-Do List

Be Merry. Be Happy. Be Bright.

About 20 years ago, one of my girlfriends (and soul sister), Patti, sent me a beautiful card for Christmas that I have treasured ever since. As a matter of fact, I keep it in a picture frame and display it every year as part of my decorations. Over the years, I have also typed it up on colorful stationary and passed it on to staff members, friends and family.

With three major holidays this month – Hanukkah, Christmas, and Kwanzaa and, in addition, Winter Solstice and New Year’s Eve, I thought I’d share the contents of the card with you. Needless to say, we don’t have to wait for the holidays to do any of these things. In my humble opinion, what you are about to read should be part of our to-do list on a regular basis…..just sayin’

This Christmas

  • Mend a quarrel
  • Seek out a forgotten friend
  • Write a love letter
  • Share some treasure
  • Give a soft answer
  • Encourage youth
  • Keep a promise
  • Find the time
  • Forgive an enemy
  • Apologize if you were wrong
  • Think first of someone else
  • Be kind and gentle
  • Laugh a little
  • Laugh a little more
  • Express your gratitude
  • Gladden the heart of a child
  • Take pleasure in the beauty and wonder of the earth
  • Speak your love
  • Speak it again
  • Speak it still once again

If you are in need of a little token gift, strapped for cash, or just want to be mindful of where and how you are spending your money, you can get creative with this beautiful to-do list, add to it, create your own, print copies or have it printed on cardstock at Staples, and perhaps slip into small frames as gifts. You can also roll them up and tie with a lovely ribbon. We don’t have to spend an inordinate amount of money on a gift. Simple, no fuss gifts from the heart carry our energy, love and intention with them. They are the gifts that keep on giving.

Create away darlings….and remember… be merry, happy and bright!

Inhale Love…Exhale Gratitude, JTC

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Good Morning Sunshine…Hello Joy

“The Joy of Being, which is the only true happiness, cannot come to you through any form, possession, achievement, person or event – through anything that happens. That Joy cannot come to you – ever. It emanates from the formless dimension within you, from consciousness itself and this is one with who you are.” Eckhart Tolle

There’s nothing like seeing someone first thing in the morning and feeling a ray of sunshine beaming down on you. I can best describe it as a feeling of inner Joy. When I was working, a couple of my colleagues- Susanne and Ivette- and I would always exchange the greeting, Good Morning Sunshine, and the other would say, Hello Joy! And since tomorrow is Susanne’s birthday, I was inspired to write this blog by the memory of this exchange – and one that we continue to have when we see each other at our monthly birthday luncheons.

Simply stated, we are either Joy or not. Joy is something that comes from within our very being, our essence, our true self. We can’t make it up, seek it outside ourselves, buy it, or expect it to come to us. This type of “expectation” is one that just causes more pain, suffering, disappointment, negativity and unhappiness. In the book, A New Earth,  Eckhart Tolle goes on to say that “Unhappiness or negativity is a disease of our planet.” He wrote these words ten years ago, and they are ever so true to this very day. He further states that “Pollution is on the outer level, negativity is on the inner. It is everywhere! It’s not just in places where people don’t have enough, but even more so where they have more than enough.” When I saw him interviewed on Super Soul Sunday, he remarked how the tremendous amount of earth’s energy field is produced by people. No kidding! That is definitely clear as daylight. How can we shift the energy field?

Imagine if every single person took responsibility for the energy they bring into a room? Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor, a brain scientist, speaker and author, talks about this in her Ted Talk, My Stroke of Insight (one of those talks that went viral). If you haven’t heard of her, she was a brain researcher who studied her own stroke as it was happening. Talk about things happening for a reason and living one’s purpose! Being left in a state of pure consciousness (and unable to speak, read, write or walk at the time), she was ever so conscious of the positive and negative energy that different people brought into the room. Imagine if more people chose to clear themselves of negative energy, be still and connect to their inner being-ness and knowing-ness, and operated from that place of Love and Joy? Imagine what that would do to our beautiful planet’s energy field?

It’s not a difficult thing to do. All it entails is to be aware of that moment of negativity creeping up, and choose differently. Some may argue that it is easier said than done; however, with practice, diligence, and healthy boundaries, we do come to that place where choosing differently becomes our default setting. Sometimes, a good visual helps us be with what is in that moment (my visual happens to he a big red stop sign in my third eye – with flashing lights around it). If we stay rooted and grounded in the present moment, we are better equipped to be more mindful and aware of the decisions we make, exchanges we have, what we are willing to let into our own personal space or energy field, and the energy we bring into a room.

And speaking of energy fields, this is a time of year people tend to unravel, spiral, lose control, and push themselves into a state of sheer exhaustion…all self-imposed by the way! Rather than enjoy each moment, each day, each exchange or interaction, the “Negative Nancys and Debbie Downers” come out to play, tensions build, tempers flare, guilt sets in and the ugly in people comes out. Obviously, we have the ability to rise above all that if we take the time to listen, make our well-being a priority, heed our intuition, honor our boundaries, and bring consciousness and awareness into our daily modus operandi. With practice, commitment, patience, steadfastness and grace, we can all honor our inner needs during trying times by taking care of ourselves and protecting our precious energy field – regardless of the people and/or circumstances with which we are dealing (and if there are people who add way too much stress to your life, well it’s then time to “clean house”).

Here are a few simple and power-filled tips that pop up now and then on Facebook and Instagram, and they are right on the money.

To Protect Your Energy:

  • It’s okay to cancel a commitment
  • It’s okay to change your mind
  • It’s okay to want to be alone
  • It’s okay to take a day off
  • It’s okay to do nothing
  • It’s okay to speak up
  • It’s okay to let go 

If someone gets upset at you, that is their problem not yours! Remember, YOUR well-being, sanity, peace of mind, health and wellness should be the priority…..just sayin’!

Now that the holidays have started, we can savor them in a stress-free and enjoyable way. Time is precious, and we have the ability to enjoy wonder-filled and beautiful moments with our friends and loved ones and when we are alone too.  If we tap into our true essence and acknowledge our limitless, love-filled, miraculous and joyous self, cut ourselves some slack, loosen up, relinquish the need to control, ask for help and make our well-being a priority, we will be walking around radiating lots of Sunshine and Joy! The choice is ours to make….doom, gloom and negativity or sunshine, joy and positivity? If you ask me, it’s a no-brainer….wink, wink.

To keep my energy levels in check, I’m going to add one more to the list. I will only be blogging on Wednesdays throughout the month of December. This way, I can relax more, spend time reading and perhaps even write more!

Protect your energy, embrace the joy and shine away darlings….You’ve got the power!

Inhale Love…Exhale Gratitude, JTC

 

 

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Soul Spaces & Personal Sanctuaries

“Your home both reflects who you are and can help transform who you are.”              -Marianne Williamson

Not everyone enjoys moving and setting up a new home or apartment. Me? I love it! It thrills me.  I’ve moved so often, and am so good at it, that I always say I could have owned my own moving / staging company. As a matter of fact, the average number of years I have remained in one place has always been about 6-9 years. And, I am known for leaving things behind and starting “fresh.” There is so much to be said for the art of “paying forward” and keeping the abundance circulating! Doing so warms my heart and brings me joy.

There was a time where I briefly, ever so briefly, thought about the money I have spent decorating my new places. Then one day, I had an “aha” moment and realized that one of the reasons I’ve always enjoyed moving and decorating new spaces was because it’s allowed me to express my creativity. Each new house or apartment I have ever lived in has reflected who and where I’ve been at that point in my life. Oftentimes, I referred to these new places as “sanctuaries” for my soul to rest, renew, heal, evolve, grow and expand. Today, every where you look you find books and articles on creating your personal sanctuary, creating a sacred space, your personal oasis.

One such book I came across 4 years ago while I was at Lumeria in Maui, was SoulSpace Transform Your Home, Transform Your Life. It was written by Xorin Balbes who, at the time, was the owner and designer of this beautiful yoga and educational retreat oasis. As Marianne Williamson writes in the forwards, “If you are looking to make your home more reflective of the deepest truths of who you are and what you want in life, then SoulSpace is the coolest thing you could possibly read…..This book is unique and filled with wisdom, not only about design but also about us, not only about beauty but also about transformation, not only about how to decorate your rooms but also about how to better your life.” Just reading those words made my mouth water, and I couldn’t wait to savor all the wisdom and beauty the book had to offer.

Since Xorin was on the property during our stay at Lumeria, we got to talk to him quite a bit and had the opportunity to hear his soul speak. Needless to say, practically everyone in our group purchased the book, and I have since purchased some as gifts. As I read Xorin’s book, it was as if all the pieces of the puzzle known as my “moving life” fell into place. It was yet another “aha” moment. So much so, that it made me feel as if I could have penned that book myself. I had a whole lot of Xorin Balbes inside my heart and soul!

Creating your own personal sanctuary, sacred soul space and oasis is a whole lot easier to do when you live by yourself and do not have a house full of children or anyone else to answer to. However, I truly believe that where there is a will, there is a way. It does not mean that we have to live in a cluttered mess, a house that looks like a college dorm or one giant playroom. Every thing and every one should have their own personal space. Organization, attention to detail, love and intention are key factors. Remember, your outer world reflects your inner world! I invite you to sit on that for just a moment. Pause….inhale….exhale…Your outer world reflects your inner world. What does your living space reflect? What does it say about you? Does it reflect calm or chaos? Do you reflect calm or chaos?

Do you have a sacred space that supports your dreams, is inspirational, and houses the items that nurture your soul? It could be a corner of a room, an alcove, an extra room, maybe even an area of your bedroom or your entire bedroom for that matter. Our mind, body and soul need a place of calm, ease, deep peace, a place to retreat to, unwind, decompress, rest and relax. A place where we can write, reflect, seek inspiration, read, ground ourselves, dream, pray, meditate or perhaps even help us heal emotionally and spiritually. If you do have such a place, then kudos to you…how awesome! I’d love to hear all about it. If you don’t, then why not? Do you make the time to rest and relax? If not, why not? If you don’t, I humbly invite you to read my previous blog, R&R. 

For me, the end of a relationship usually signaled a time to move on, start fresh and do some big-time resting and relaxing. The way I decorated was always reflective of where I was at that point in time. Playing with color, furnishings and different designs expressed my moods and stages. The most important design element though has been the love, intention, fun and energy that has gone into creating my own personal sanctuaries. My home is my temple, my sacred soul space, my oasis.

Helping others create their sacred space(s) is also fun, exciting, meaningful and therapeutic. As I mentioned in an earlier blog, I love to organize, purge, give away and display items that bring joy and nurture the soul. They can be different works of art, religious artifacts or deities, delicious candles, incense, essential oils, inspiring books, coloring books, meaningful jewelry and accessories, crystals, stones, pictures, found treasures or souvenirs from world travels or places of exploration, special gifts, journals, a comfy pillow and yummy blanket, soothing music, plants and flowers (one must always have fresh flowers). Regardless of the space we have available to us, the size of our home or the number of people living in it, our home will either reflect calm or chaos. More importantly, it should be a place where we can flourish and not just exist.

You know the all too common question, “Where do you live?” Well, in the introduction to SoulSpace, Xorin invites us to consider the question in a new way, and I will leave you to do so with his beautiful words of inspiration:

“Where do you live? Where do you feel alive? Where do you feel safe, peaceful, hopeful and supported? Where can you explore your hobbies, think, learn and love? If your home is just a temporary holding pen where you leave all your things during the day instead of a beautiful space that makes you feel safe and calm every time you walk in the door, something is wrong. Your home is more than a place where your possessions are – it is a place where your body can recharge, where your passions can be fulfilled, where you safely explore yourself and your desires, and where your soul can rest, be inspired and soar. Home is about satisfying our basic animal needs: eating, sleeping, seeking shelter. But it is also about achieving transcendence on earth through our other needs, the ones that are the basis of our humanity: beauty, love and creativity.”

Where do you live, darling?

Inhale Love…Exhale Gratitude, JTC

 

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Who’s in Charge Here?

“I need to take an emotional breath, step back, and remind myself of who’s actually in charge of my own life.” Judith M. Knowlton

 

Greetings darlings! Well, if all goes well, today I will be returning from a much needed and long anticipated visit to Kripalu in Lenox, MA. Staying there always leaves me  feeling so relaxed, renewed, recharged, refreshed and connected to nature ( much needed after all the celebrations that took place in the month of October).

There’s nothing like giving ourselves permission to go out and do the thing(s) that our mind, body and soul are calling us to do. Once again, the key is to acknowledge it, make a plan, and consciously choose to schedule it as a priority. I personally see it as a duty and responsibility we have to our higher self, and we do not need anyone’s approval (other than our own) to do so. It’s self-respect at it’s best! If we aren’t in charge, then who is?

So, I am going to keep today’s post light and fun, especially since some of you may still be catching up / finishing up with the I AM exercise that was part of my blog, Exercising the I AM in You. And, since I believe in total transparency, I also needed to schedule some posts for publication in advance for while I was away.  My intention (as I type this) is to disconnect and do a digital detox while at Kripalu. Digital detoxes are also a much needed thing we can all benefit from every now and again….disconnect to reconnect!

Remember how as kids we always needed to get a permission slip signed for a filed trip or class trip of some kind? Perhaps you are the one signing them now if you have children. Well……here goes……

I invite you to make  your own permission slip for the field trip, activity or pampering you have been needing, the dream you’ve been holding onto, the thoughts you haven’t allowed yourself to voice, or any other activity your heart is telling you it needs. Like one of the pages in the I Am Her book says, “Give yourself permission to live.”

  • Take out a sheet of paper and at the top of it write: I Give Myself Permission To
  • At the very bottom of it, write: Starting This Very Moment
  • You are now ready to list the things you will be giving yourself permission to do

Perhaps this is an activity you would also like to share with your Tribe. It’s always fun to share these types of activities with those girlfriends who support and encourage one another. It’s also a good way to hold yourself, and each other, accountable. Make a night of it, host a pot-luck dinner or a happy hour and gather around the table. Have nice art supplies of all kinds if you really want to make it special. That’s  the event planner in me speaking – a simple idea evolves into an “event” of some sort. One thing I know from experience though is that a fun time will be had by all!

Now go take charge, and enjoy yourself!

Inhale Love…Exhale Gratitude, JTC

 

 

 

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Special Wishes for AJ

“And the Child grew and became strong, filled with wisdom; and the grace of God was upon him” Luke 2:40

Today’s blog is dedicated to a very special little man named Arie Joseph  (AJ). He is my God-daughter’s son who is being baptized today.

In addition to all the prayers, blessings and special wishes that will be showered upon AJ on this day, it is also a very special day for his parents, as is with any rite of passage in a child’s life. On baptism day, parents are up close and personal to the sacrament that brings their child into Christianity. It’s a commitment parents make. It is also a responsibility they have as caretakers of their child’s beautiful mind and soul to instill some sort of belief / faith in them. As a child grows and matures, they may stray from their religion / faith  or maybe even find another one that resonates more for them. Regardless, parents have laid the foundation for spiritual, faith based practices, beliefs, morals and values in hopes of creating a kind, loving, compassionate, wise, responsible and productive citizen of the world.

The experiences of being a first time parent, diapers, dishes, sleep, lack of sleep, food prep, doctor appointments, teething, runny noses, fevers, food allergies, work schedules, child care and other dilemmas (remember- the bigger the child – the bigger the problems) can be daunting and overwhelming. Then throw in how one will discipline the child and the parenting style that both parents may or may not see eye to eye on. Having been in education for 33+ years, I experienced first-hand the chaos, confusion, angst, anxiety, destructive behavior, and struggle that families go through when they are at odds with the basic tenets of how to raise a child. After I ended my career, I came across Dr. Shefali. I don’t recall if I first saw her TED talk or her interview on Super Soul Sunday, but what a game changer she is!

Once you see Dr. Shefali, listen to her, and really hear what she is saying, your life, world and awareness will be forever changed. Had I come across Dr. Shefali’s work sooner, I swear I would have created a parent workshop or parenting classes around her first book, The Conscious Parent. Furthermore, if I ran a private school, this book would be mandated reading for parents and/or caretakers before accepting the child into school. It would also be required reading for the teachers. I am telling you, it’s a book every parent-to-be (or person responsible for raising a child) should read way before they even plan on starting a family (and for anyone working with children). THAT is how POWERFUL Dr. Shefali’s books are! As a matter of fact, I gifted The Conscious Parent to AJ’s parents when I learned they were expecting and also gave my girlfriend Barb (Grandma / Abuela) Dr. Shefali’s other book, The Awakened Family. My darlings, this is definitely a gift that keeps on giving!

If there is anything we have learned by now, is that the “Authoritative” approach to discipline and public shaming does not work. It’s not healthy and is destructive to say the least. Instead of building a child up, enforced disciline and punishment tears the child down – leading to shame, resentment, self-esteem issues, eating disorders, insecurities, hostilities, behavioral issues and other self-sabotaging behaviors…..and yes, it is a form of bullying. One of the things that struck me is how she is able to show us that children are a mirror of our own unresolved issues. In her book, The Awakened Family, Dr. Shefali also shows us how and/or why children’s needs aren’t being met and why they truly feel they are not being “heard” by parents or don’t feel a connection to the parent(s). She poses some profound questions for parents to ask themselves:

  • Where am I as the parent failing to connect with my child?
  • What in the child longs to be recognized, but is being ignored?
  • How can I help mitigate the feelings of inferiority and shame that my child experiences?
  • And most importantly, how am I projecting my own internal shame onto my own child?

In Dr. Shefali’s words, “Unless we begin to turn the spotlight within and ask these difficult questions, our children will live in the legacy of shame that will continue into future generations. And the epidemic of bullying will continue to soar.” Dr. Shefali’s books integrate Eastern and Western philosophies and show us how to parent in an evolutionary and conscious way. She gives us daily skills and tools that are transformational, healing and lead both children and parents to a place of calm, ease and joy. I highly recommend Dr. Shefali’s book to anyone thinking about starting family, just started one, is struggling with the “my way or the highway” style of parenting and/or caretakers responsible for raising children. Her books make an awesome gift for anyone who is being blessed with a new baby in their family. The books are blessings in and of  themselves!

So, on AJ’s special day, I am sending the Diaz-Spencer Families many heartfelt special wishes and blessings and will close with a beautiful prayer from Marianne Williamson’s book, Illuminata – A Return to Prayer.

Dear God, Thank you for the birth of Arie Joseph into the world and into this family.  We offer ourselves this day as caretakers of his spirit and his higher mind. May we fulfill with strength the glory of our role, in AJ’s life and in the lives of his parents, Erica and Doug. May the spirit of this family, from generations past and into the future, burst forth to bless and sustain Arie Joseph. Amen.

Let the celebration begin!

Inhale Love…Exhale Gratitude, JTC