Thankful and Grateful

“Thanksgiving is about celebrating the gifts that are within us. It’s a holiday that’s about honoring the gift of friendship. It’s about recognizing the gift of family. It’s about opening your heart and your mind to the larger picture of family. It’s about reaching out to those who might not have a family or a place to go and inviting them to the table.” Maria Shriver

Thanksgiving was my mama’s favorite holiday. She always loved fall colors and would oftentimes keep fall decorations up all year…leaves, flowers, etc. It was kind of funny seeing fall colors amidst Christmas and Valentine’s decorations, but my mom marched to the beat of her own drummer. I guess the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree after all…wink, wink!

I get how she used to feel. It saddens me to see this beautiful time of year get lost among all the Christmas decorations and displays. Retailers want us to shop, shop, shop even if it’s at the expense of rushing everything along. All we do is rush….we need to slow down and appreciate the beauty and the bounty each season bestows upon us as well as the people around us….without feeling stressed!

Thanksgiving is a beautiful time of year for contemplation. Just as we gather provisions for the holiday, it’s a perfect time to pause and take stock of all we are blessed to have in our lives and the people with whom we get to share life. Many of us don’t have large families anymore or no family left, so the gift of friendship and camaraderie become more special. And if you know of someone who is alone or has no place to go, please consider extending an invite to them so they can enjoy as well.

And let’s not forget how stressful family can be. It’s no wonder many people have taken to going away for the holidays or hosting Friendsgiving parties!

With the political climate the way it is, an already stressful holiday gathering for some can end up being catastrophic. People shift from calm to chaotic in record breaking time and, oftentimes, bringing on panic attacks. It’s as if the first of November comes with it this dark, looming event of epic proportion. And if you don’t fall into this category, perhaps this time of year burns you out. You hit the wall and crash. You abandon your self-care practices and spiral into a dark abyss.

The holidays are a time in which we need to amp up our self-care practices so that we can enjoy all the blessings that come with gathering with our friends and loved ones. What self-care practices allow you to remain in an undisturbed space of calm and ease? What allows you to maintain the calm in the chaos?

Boundaries play an important part in all of this as well. Who is welcome at your table? What will or won’t you allow in your space? What conversations or topics are welcome? What items should and shouldn’t be brought to the table? 

As  I was reading Maria Shriver’s Sunday Paper, I came across an article by renowned therapist, Lori Gottlieb. In it, she listed a few pointers that can help us move through the holiday season with less stress and more calm and peaceful ease. Since “sharing is caring,” I want to pass on the pointers  from Ms. Gottlieb’s article as an offering to you on this Thanksgiving:

  1. Take care of your health: eat well, exercise, get enough sleep, don’t use substances to numb your feelings.
  2. Say no, guilt-free: protect your time so you don’t become overwhelmed.
  3. Stay connected: if you’re feeling sad or anxious, reach out to friends or a therapist. Remember, you aren’t alone.
  4. Reach for the gratitude: focus on one or two things that you’re grateful for this year or that you look forward to creating in your life in the new year.
  5. Have perspective: it may be that everywhere you go, all you see are reminders that it’s the holiday season, but really the world hasn’t stopped, the holidays are short-lived and, before you know it, life will be back to normal (now that’s something to celebrate!).
  6. Remember that you’re a grownup now: it’s easy to slip back into childhood roles when we’re around our families, so if you notice this happening, step away to the restroom, take some deep breaths, look at your adult face in the mirror, and smile because you’re an adult now and you’re finally free to do as you please.

Darlings, my wish for you this Thanksgiving is that you have a day filled with the warmth of friendship, the love that surrounds you and the joy of creating new memories.

Infinite Love & Gratitude, JTC

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